Attack of the Killer Weeds

By Paula Friedrichsen

We recently moved into a smaller home in an effort to down-size and prepare our finances for my husband’s impending retirement. Our little house has a planter that skirts the entire length of the home, and it was originally filled with ugly ground cover. This last spring my husband tore out all the ugly ground cover and we replaced it with a vast assortment of flowers. That planter is now a stunning display of color as you drive up to our home. Everyone who visits mentions its beauty. It is thriving, flourishing, it is well tended- it is alive!

But that ground cover wants to come back. At first it appears as just a little leafy greenery, but before you know it, it has sent out tentacle-like shoots that begin to insidiously wind their way around and around the stems of the flowers. This stuff is evil! As I winds around each stem, it tightens and slowly chokes the life out of my lovely blossoms.

Every day Jeff or I have to rescue the flowers from “The Attack of the Killer Weeds.” If we want our flower garden to continue to thrive and “wow” all the neighbors, then we have to be diligent.

If you allow Him, God will tend the garden of your marriage and examine it by the light of His Word. He can remove some pretty nasty weeds and plant some exciting new things. But you’ll have to be diligent in your effort not to be overtaken again by the weeds. Remember the weeds are insidious. At first they appear as benign and non-threatening, but don’t be fooled- anything that is not a flower does not belong in your garden.

A weed may start off as just a negative memory of something unkind your husband said or did lately. From negative memory to rumination…from rumination to negative emotions…from negative emotions to negative behavior…from negative behavior to resentment. Bam! You’ve got yourself a weed! And it’s choking out God’s new planting.

Guard against the weed. Refuse to let them take hold of the good things God has done in your life and marriage. Those negative thought patterns can be changed. You don’t have to just give up and say, “I can’t change; this is just how it is.”

With God’s help, you can transform long-standing negative patterns in your marriage. He is mighty and will help you keep ugly, joy-stealing weeds out of your garden. Simply do your part, and trust God to do His. Your job is to resist the enemy’s plan to steal the good things that God has planted in your marriage; His is to supernaturally strengthen you, giving you His wisdom to overcome each obstacle and keep those weeds out of your garden.

Excerpted from The Man You’ve Always Wanted is the One You Already Have © 2007 by Paula Friedrichsen. Used by permission of WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc. Excerpt may not be reproduced without prior written consent.

Click here to purchase Paula’s book, The Man You’ve Always Wanted is the One You Already Have, from P31 Ministries.