Why We Homeschool

by Lori Hatcher

Thirty years ago when homeschooling first reappeared on the educational radar screen, it was limited primarily to families who appeared to be, shall I say, unusual. One family that achieved national recognition left their suburban lifestyle and moved to a goat farm in upstate New York to rear and educate their sons. The boys did quite well academically and ultimately secured full tuition scholarships to prestigious Ivy League colleges. The results were great, but what average family wants to go live on a goat farm for the purpose of educating their children?

Today, homeschooling has once again proven itself as a viable educational option. I say "once again," because for 200 years in this country homeschooling the only educational option. All of our founding fathers were quite well educated using the tutorial method. State-sanctioned "public education" did not come into full use until the late 1800's.

As the homeschooling mother of two teenaged girls, I am often asked the question, "So, why DO you homeschool?" While my answers are not the answers of all homeschooling families, I believe they capture the essence of why so many families choose to educate their children at home.

We homeschool because it gives us:

A rich family life-
The nature of homeschooling lends itself to activities that the whole family can do together. Instead of being age- and grade-segregated, all members of the family explore an area of science, history, culture, or the arts together. We've visited the places where the Civil War began and ended, watched loggerhead turtle babies released to the sea, toured the museums in Washington, D.C., and lay on our backs in the grass to track the stars in the summer sky. In addition to the educational lessons my children have learned, we have had the opportunity to build relationships with each other as we built family memories.

The chance for our children to pursue their interests- Because homeschooling is more time efficient, our children have more time to pursue their areas of interest once the academic portion of their school day is complete. One daughter is fascinated by the political process. The flexibility of the homeschool setting allowed her to travel to Florida in 2004 to campaign for former President George W. Bush in the I-40 corridor of Orlando with a group of 100 homeschooled students. Another daughter loves children and swimming. One day she hopes to be a physical therapist. Our homeschooling schedule allowed her to work with a USC grant project teaching autistic and mentally retarded children to feel comfortable in the water.

The freedom to be children-
When other children ask my girls if they have homework, they reply, "ALL our work is homework!" It is a funny way to comment on the fact that their homework is built into their school day. Because they have the benefit of someone working one-on-one with them in challenging subject areas, extra remedial work and practice is not necessary once they have completed their assignments. This allows them time to play outside with their friends, read for fun, daydream, and generally just be a kid.

The chance to disciple our children-
We have the freedom to open our school day with prayer and Bible reading, stop during the day to address an area of sin or disobedience, or deal with an area of character development using the principles found in God's Word. We take time in our school day to cook a meal for a sick friend, visit a neighbor in the hospital, and serve our church. We memorize Bible verses as a part of our school work, not in addition to it. I learned the Ten Commandments for the first time as I helped the girls learn them for AWANA. Now that they're teenagers, we work our way through devotionals that teach them how to keep themselves pure, be a witness to their friends, and impact the world for Christ. Our daughters see us living out our faith day in and day out because they are with us.

The chance to live life at a slower pace-
One friend shared with me that her family life was so busy that between school, homework, extracurricular activities, church activities, and the rarely shared family meal, that she didn't even have time to bathe her children during the week. Our lifestyle, while still busy, makes time for home-cooked meals with friends, sleeping in after a late night, and read-alouds after dinner.

A chance to be well socialized-
Because they have been taught in a learning environment that regularly reaches beyond a classroom, my children can communicate and interact well with people of all ages, not just their peers. They learned to talk with the elderly as we visited a nursing home every week for a year and a half. They learned to enjoy young children as they volunteered at summer camp and Vacation Bible School. They learned to relate well to adults as they worked alongside them and learned from them in various campaign events and ministry opportunities. Imagine my surprise to hear my daughter interact in an informed and articulate way with her Senator regarding a recent education bill he had introduced! The world is not age-segregated, so my children need to be able to relate to people of all ages and walks of life. Homeschooling has given them that opportunity.

I am the first to say that homeschooling, like any other educational alternative, is not for every family. It is right for mine, and it might be right for yours. I encourage you to evaluate your current situation, pray with your spouse, and ask God to show you what is best for your family. If you feel led to consider homeschooling, I encourage you to do some research. Check out some books from the library, talk to a homeschooling friend, do a web search on it. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without finding fault, and it shall be given to him." (James 1:5) NKJV God bless you as you seek His will for your family!


A 17-year veteran homeschooler of two daughters, Lori Hatcher shares life with her youth pastor husband David. She is the author of the book Joy in the Journey -- Words of Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms, available in early 2012 from Mardel.Com. Visit her blog, Be Not Weary at www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com for more encouragement.

Count Your Blessings

By LeAnn Rice


Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his steadfast love endures forever!
(Psalm 118:1)

His steadfast love endures forever! Reason number one to be thankful!

All of us have good days and bad days. It’s part of life. But no matter how bad the bad days are, we can always hold on to this truth: The King is still on the throne and His love is steadfast and true and always. You simply can’t escape it!

As a young widow with a child, I experienced many “bad days” in the past 14 years (especially during the toddler years). There were days when I thought I wouldn’t make it another 24 hours without some help. But God never left my side and, over the years I started to notice the little blessings that each day held.

Whether you are experiencing the loss of a loved one, chronic illness, financial hardship, addiction, marital stress or other painful situations, you can find something to be grateful for each day. Looking for these blessings will refocus your thoughts toward Him, instead of your situation.

Honestly, this hasn’t always been easy. I have had days when all I could find to be grateful for was that the sun was shining or that I could actually get myself out of bed that morning. But, day by day I forced myself to count my blessings and eventually, I started to notice them all around me.

You may not be experiencing a rough patch. You may just be in the midst of a “normal” but hectic life and have a desire to develop an attitude of gratitude. Thanksgiving is a great time to focus on the things we are thankful for and get into the habit of thankfulness! Isn’t it easy to complain about the things that are inconvenient, frustrating, not going our way, etc? Just this week I found myself complaining about my piles of laundry. I should have been grateful that I have running water and a working washer and dryer when so many in our world do not have these items that I take for granted.

What about you? Do you struggle to notice the simple blessings in the midst of your hectic days? Are you experiencing a challenging time and really need to see some “good” right about now?

Here are a few practical ways to count your blessings that may become a new Thanksgiving tradition in your home.

Create a Blessing Box- Make or purchase a simple or ornate box (if you have kids, perhaps they can make and decorate one). Place cute notes or strips of paper, along with a pen, beside the box. Display the box, paper and pen in a location where everyone will see it several times a day. I like to place mine in the center of my kitchen table. At least once each day have everyone in the family write something they have to be grateful for on a strip of paper and place it inside the box. Do this throughout the year and then read the strips together in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.

* Keep a Blessing Journal

Keep a journal beside your bed. Before you go to bed each night, write down at least three things that happened to you that day that you are grateful for. It could be as simple and wonderful as a child’s smile or laughter. It could be that you had enough money to fill your gas tank. Maybe a long soaking rain started right after you did some planting. Write down anything that you were grateful for that day. When you are having a rough day, pull out your journal and read through your blessings as a reminder that there is much to be grateful for, even in the midst of life’s challenging circumstances.

* Give a Good Night Blessing

When you tuck your kids in at night, ask them to tell you one good thing about their day. This ends their day on a positive note and gets them in the habit of noticing the blessings. Perhaps, keep a journal beside their beds as well!

* Create a Blessing Chain

You know those paper chains kids make in school? Make one out of blessings! Cut up strips of red and green paper a few weeks before Thanksgiving. Have your kids write down blessings on the strips and then staple together to form a chain. When you decorate your Christmas tree, place your blessing chain on the tree, around the bottom of the tree or on the mantle. Your decorations will be covered in blessings! This makes a great conversation piece, and provides the opportunity to share the Gospel with visitors!

* Make a Blessing Tree

Instead of making a chain out of the strips of paper, punch holes in the strips, tie a pretty ribbon through the hole, and then hang strips of blessings on a tree. You can do this for Thanksgiving or Christmas, just select the color of paper and ribbons to match the occasion! You can even use a large twig with lots of branches as your tree, or a houseplant, or make one on poster paper and tape on your blessings.

* Give a Treasury of God’s Promises

If you know someone who’s going through a difficult time, consider creating a box for them and fill it with God’s promises personalized just for them. Imagine opening the box and reading, “My plan for your future, Gabriel, is filled with hope.” I have created a free template with 100 of God’s promises ready for you to customize. Simply purchase or create a box, personalize the promises, print and cut them into strips, fold the strips and place in the box, and then tie the box with a beautiful ribbon. Perfect gift for any occasion! You can find the free template by visiting www.SheCooks.org and clicking on “Resources.” Scroll down to the middle of the page and you will see the template.

Sweet friends, I pray that your blessings will be too numerous to count and that God will reveal Himself to you in the most unexpected ways.

LeAnn Rice is the Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives with her 17-year-old son, Nick, and their ornery cat, Angel, in a small town just outside of Charlotte, NC. LeAnn is co-author of the book “Untangling Christmas: Your Go-To Guide for a Hassle-Free Holiday,” an e-book filled with recipes, organization and gift suggestions, as well as tangible outreach ideas and ways to seek our Savior during the holiday. LeAnn shares recipes, grace, and southern hospitality on www.SheCooks.org and hope and inspiration on her site www.AWidowsMight.org.

My Last Day

By Kimberly Rae

Small buzzes, clicks, whirring sounds surrounded me. I lay flat on my back, in the flimsy hospital gown. Medical technicians were thinking about the MRI, about the fluid on my brain, about the eclamptic seizures that had brought me back to the hospital. I was thinking about death. Would today be my last day?

I thought of my husband, my little boy, and my new tiny baby daughter. I thought about all my big goals for my life, goals that had been crippled and marred by chronic health problems. Health problems had brought us home from the mission field and removed from me all the activities and ministries that gave me identity. These problems had, as I saw it, taken away my significance.

Over the past year I had struggled with discontent, a restless need to find some way to prove I was still worthwhile. Yet with each attempt, each new ministry or activity, eventually my health (or lack thereof) would hinder it, would require more help from my husband, would leave me exhausted, sick or both. I would end up neglecting my family as I used up my energy trying to keep up with the other things. After all, organizing a missions conference sounds a lot more important than changing diapers. Leading a Bible study feels more significant than reading bedtime stories.

But that day in the hospital, the possibility of it being my last brought a fear more claustrophobic than the MRI machine I was encased in. What if it really was my last day? What if I was dying? What would I want to do with my last day?

All those former seemingly significant priorities I had chased did not come to mind. All the activities that had given me a false sense of identity lost their appeal in the valley of the shadow of death. If it was to be my last day, I wanted to spend it loving my husband, loving my children, loving my God.

That was how I wanted to be remembered. Content. Unafraid. No longer striving, chasing after the wind. I wanted to be remembered as one who loved. And in that moment of light, as the machine whirred and clicked over my head, I had a blazing realization: If that is how I would want to spend my last day, why isn’t that how I am spending every day?

If my God and my family are most important, why am I living as if they aren’t? Why are they taking second place in my day, in my effort, even in my heart sometimes?

The months and years leading up to that day in the hospital, I had struggled with wondering what my life was worth if I could not chase after my dreams, if I could not attain the amazing, biography-worthy life I had always wanted.

However, that day I saw with beautiful certainty that I wanted to stay. I wanted to live, even if life for me meant fewer abilities and possibilities than it might for most others.

Lying in that MRI machine, I prayed, “God, if all I can do with my life is serve my husband and raise my children, I want to stay. Please let me stay.”

God answered that prayer with a yes. Later that afternoon, as a neurologist, an emergency-room doctor, and one other “ologist” stood over me, discussing which of two life-threatening treatments to try, they chose the right one. Eventually I was released from the hospital. Eventually I returned to my state of “normal.” Eventually I even had enough energy to go right back to struggling with my old addiction: the pull toward proving my own significance.

Like an addict, I still find myself longing to commit to activities, drawn toward proving that I am spiritual by outward show. Then another health crisis will knock me down, bringing back with startling force that promise I made that day as death faced me head-on. I made the promise, and I am accountable for that promise before God.

I know that God wants abundant life for each of us (John 10:10). I am learning, however, that His definition of abundant life for me is far different than what I had ever supposed. Abundant life is not an urgent, fast-paced life rushing from one significant thing to the next. Abundant life is having contentment in every season, with whatever role God has assigned for me within that season. It is a place of peace, green pastures and still waters.

Regardless of how small or large my role feels at any given time, God wants me to accept it with joy, to be a shining example of peace—of a gentle and quiet spirit—in a world where women feel they must prove their own worth by their talents, or beauty, or ability to make money.

That day in the hospital did not turn out to be my last day. However, one day will be. When that day comes, I want my restless, discontent spirit to have been replaced by a gentle and quiet one. I want me to have decreased, and Christ to have increased. I want those I love to really know they were loved. Most of all, I want God to be pleased, because I was finally willing to give up my own dreams for His.

Kimberly has rafted the Nile River, seen Mt. Everest, and eaten cow brains in Bangladesh, just to say she'd done it! She now lives in North Carolina with her husband and two young children. Her first novel, Stolen Woman, a Christian suspense story about a woman trying to rescue a trafficked girl, has been released this year on Amazon.com and stolenwoman.org. You can contact Kimberly on her Facebook page under Human Trafficking Stolen Woman.

Trusting in the Storm

Cheryl Fellores

Fears. We all have them. Fears come in different shapes and sizes, but they share something in common: their ability to paralyze us and take our focus off God. The little voice of fear we hear becomes louder than the gentle whisper of our loving Savior.

In August 2007, my biggest fear became a reality. My teenage son, Justin, moved back to Indiana to live with his father. The weeks leading up to his departure, I prayed my most heart-felt prayers for God to stop the madness. God’s response was “Do you trust Me?” My instant answer was “yes, but not enough to give up my son.” That began my journey of truly trusting Him. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

“Do you trust Me?” Those four simple words rocked me to my core because I understood what it meant. I’d have to face my biggest fear in life: losing Justin. God didn’t stop the nightmare. Instead, He held me close as I gave up my son.

None of this surprised God. He had been preparing me when He prompted me months prior to get serious about quiet time with Him. During that quiet time, He taught me how to listen for His voice and to dig deeper into His Word. That was paramount to helping me through my dark days.

Over the next few months, I battled hopelessness and depression as I prayed for God to bring my baby back. His answer was “No.” God reminded me that Justin had become more important in my life than my relationship with Him, violating the first commandment of “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). As I continued the learning process, God poured into me by surrounding me with women of faith. He also used Christian music to shift my focus from me to Him.

One morning, the light bulb came on while listening to Casting Crown’s “Praise You in This Storm.” Right then and there, I thanked God for my circumstances. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). God had a reason for this storm. He used it to help me completely rely on Him for peace. It was then that I accepted my situation. My heart was filled with gratitude right there in the middle of the biggest storm of my life. My thankfulness was no longer conditional upon Justin coming home. My faith had grown wings. I was soaring with God.

A few months after Justin’s move to Indiana, he came home for a visit. As he shared his desire to live with us again, I had to put my faith into action while fighting every urge in my body that wanted to take control to make it happen. No, this time, I was committed to doing it God’s way. Taking Justin to the airport was gut-wrenching, but I had to trust God, and this time I really did. As we waited, over and over I prayed “Your will, Your way in Your time – not mine.”

Then, it happened. On January 27, 2008, God rewarded my obedience and trust. Justin came home. This time, it was to stay.

In looking back, I realized something. There were a few prodigal experiences running simultaneously. Before this storm, Justin wanted very little to do with God. But now, he’s on fire for Jesus. I also ran back into Jesus’ arms, and that is where I will stay.

The memories of that experience are still painful, but it changed my heart as I learned to completely trust the Lord. God had a plan for this. He used it to transform Justin and our entire family, including me. This became part of our story. The story will be told as each of us reach out to the hurting to help them find hope in the Lord. “He comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). God has led me to write a book and to share our story with Christian women’s groups. For Justin, God is calling him to become a youth pastor.

Do we ever learn when the experiences are easy? I rarely do, but I wish I had! This lesson stuck and has become my reference for every time the storms brew. I’ve learned that even though the storm clouds are rolling in, the sun still shines behind them. Our Lord shines even when we can’t see Him in the raging storms of life. He’s still there – just like the sun shining behind the storm clouds. “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5b). But, it’s not enough to just know that in our heads-we need to know it deep in our hearts.

God has a plan for each of us. He needs us to step up and engage in that plan. It brings meaning to our lives and to the pain we have suffered. We are called to help others to find Jesus in their storms of life.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

God’s promises aren’t just for those who lived many, many years ago. They are for you and me. We have a choice. Will we trust Him? Will we strain to hear His voice in the midst of our storms?

Speaker and writer Cheryl Fellores is passionate about helping others find Jesus. She and her husband Joey raise four children, ages 18 to 5, just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. Cheryl actively volunteers with a number of organizations including the Cove Church and In His Steps dance ministry.

Lessons from a Momma Raccoon

By Kelli Combs

“Maybe one day you will have a daughter and will get a taste of your own medicine.” These words from my mom, from many years ago, have echoed in my head recently. This is one of those times when I wish she had not been right. But, as it turns out, my mom was right most of the time.

Let’s just say I am now “there,” and one of my three children, who will remain unnamed, seems to be on a mission to challenge me daily. There is always that “one” who God uses to grow and stretch us. And my “one” just happens to be the most like me.

Yes, Lord, I get the picture.

It had not been a good week. One afternoon, I was on my way home from work and was consumed with prayer, begging God to show me how to protect my daughter. I’m so thankful He knows our kids even better than we do.

On this particular day I was specifically asking the Lord for wisdom as to how to love her through the struggles we currently found ourselves in. As I was driving, I noticed a small animal crossing the road ahead, so I began to slow my car down. As I eased closer, I was able to make out what the small, fuzzy figure was. It was the cutest little baby raccoon I have ever seen.

As I inched a little closer, the baby’s momma came out of nowhere and it was obvious that she was aware of my presence, which, for her baby, equaled danger. As she frantically looked from me to her little one, I could see the desperation in her eyes. What came next was so precious that I will never forget it.

This sweet little momma ran over and placed her body on top of her baby’s and gently tried to guide him off of the street and away from danger. Everywhere her baby went, she went. This went on for about a minute, until it became apparent that her offspring had no intention of leaving the road. It was then that our momma raccoon decided it was time for a little more aggressive “Plan B.”

Glancing nervously in my direction one last time, she picked her unassuming little rebel up by the neck and proceeded to carry him off the street and out of harm’s way. I think I laughed out loud as I watched this little one flailing and fighting to break free. I could tell it was a waste of energy because this resolved little momma wasn’t letting go until her child was a safe distance from danger. I had to wonder what was going through his little raccoon mind as momma literally dragged him off the road.

As I watched the spectacle, it occurred to me that this was a beautiful and loving answer to my prayer. I had prayed and asked the Lord if I was being too hard on my daughter. He faithfully gave me a real-life illustration in His response to my question.

What did I learn that day? There are times when we, as mothers, can gently lead our kids away from danger. Then there are those times when we have to yank them up by the nape of the neck and literally drag them to safety. Will there be times when they don’t understand and maybe even accuse us of not loving them? Will they often resist and accuse us of being mean? Yes, but it’s all worth it and it’s our job to make sure they don’t end up as road kill on the road of life.

Tears began to flow as I started to see myself as the baby raccoon, looking back on all the times that, just like that sweet momma raccoon, the Lord had to drag me, kicking and screaming, away from danger, all while I resisted and accused Him of being unfair. I now see that He was showing me love as much then as He ever had in my life. Sometimes a little tough love is in order, especially with us particularly stubborn children.

I drove away from that scene knowing I had been with Jesus. I was fully aware that these raccoons had been sent on a mission by their Creator just for me. All I could do the rest of the way home was thank the Lord for being such a personal God. I guess if He can speak through a donkey, He can surely speak through a raccoon. It’s one of the things I love most about Him.

Psalm 91:4

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Kelli Combs is married to her pastor, Michael, and they are the parents of three teenagers. She is the director of a ministry that helps women in the aftermath of abortion. Her greatest passion is studying and teaching the Word of God and helping women to overcome the lies of the enemy regarding their pasts.

Coping with Alcoholism: A Mother's Perspective

By: Debbie Karis Graham

Dealing with my 25-year-old alcoholic son, Will, is a bit like a game of Candy Land. Sometimes I feel like I am coping with his disease fine, and am close to reaching the Candy Castle. Other times I feel like I am stuck in the Molasses Swamp.

The drinking hasn’t changed, but my reaction changes frequently. God has been the one constant in my life.

Alcoholism, like any other disease, has its ebbs and flows. On days when Will is not drinking, he is my fun-loving son, always armed with a joke. Usually, they are directed toward 1960’s rock icons, as that seems to be the era of music on my radio dial. We banter back and forth about Keith Richards and his latest death defying incident and laugh until we are both in tears. At that moment, I feel as I have just picked the card that will take me up the Gum Drop Mountain Pass.

Then, there are those days when Will comes home from work bathed in the stench of beer, flops in a chair, and blankly stares at the television. He usually watches the History Channel and marvels at the lives of others, while his slowly slips away into the abyss of alcoholism. These nights, I reach for my Bible, and cry.

Sometimes I can’t even open it because I am in such emotional pain. I don’t believe there are words in there to help me through the night or even the next five minutes. I hold the thick black book tightly to my chest and run my fingers along the indentation of the gold cross on the cover. Then a sense of peace comes over me. God is there waiting.

We have traveled this road for three years and his drinking has taken its toll on every aspect of life, including my faith, my marriage, my job and my health. Many sleepless nights have left me terribly unproductive at work and not the wife described in Proverbs. I don’t “laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31:25).” Instead, I fear them. When is the next call from the police saying, “We have your son in custody for drunken driving?” Or, I wait for an officer to knock on my door with the sad news, “I am sorry to tell you ma’am, but…”

I have come to the harsh realization that I can not do anything about his drinking. A shopping trip to the mall, a favorite dinner, bribes (although I like to call it the incentive program), and even now AA has not and will not stop him until he chooses to change. But, I can do something about the way I respond to it.

I have decided to get serious about taking control over my own life and doing a spiritual inventory. I have often read, “If you can worry, you can pray.” Sometimes my prayers are scarcely nothing more than, “God, please help us.” But, that is a start.

Lately, Psalm 91 comes to mind: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Lord most high will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Rest. I like the sound of that word. It evokes many good feelings. Then a sense of peace comes over me. God is there waiting. All I have to do is draw the right card to get unstuck and I can proceed on my journey. Maybe one day I’ll make it to the Candy Castle.

Debbie Karis Graham is both a secular and Christian writer of personal essays, mainly for and about women. She has been published in newspapers throughout New Hampshire and also in the Washington Post. Her goal is to raise awareness on personal topics that are sometimes otherwise not discussed and empower women who might be struggling with these issues.

Parenting from a Different Vantage Point

By Doris M. Cush

I was home making cookies when our son asked, “Mom, who’s that girl?” “Oh honey, that’s the baby Jesus in a manger under the Christmas tree.” “Who’s she?” “What do you mean ‘she’?! You’re kidding, right?!” I mused. As I glanced at his clueless disposition awaiting my response, I clearly remained dumbfounded. Normally, this could have been an adorable moment, but since he only graced our threshold less than a month ago, I realized my husband and I were parenting from a different vantage point. Adopting an older child means being prepared for the unexpected. For us, the key lesson was learning how to confront our child’s past as we learned to define our future together as a family.

At four years old, our precious bundle of joy came to us with his hurts, hang-ups and habits. I’d be lying if I said we weren’t the least bit surprised. We were hoping for a longer “honeymoon” period. But for better or worse, we prayed through our son’s night terrors, public meltdowns, unwarranted outbursts and unexplainable insecurities. We were determined as a family to trust the Lord with our little boy’s fragile heart. We forged ahead flip-flopping parenting roles between “dastardly villain Mom” and “amazing superhero Dad.” In the process, God taught us how to turn dilemmas into precious, teachable moments.

With so many from which to choose, I can remember a particular event like it was yesterday. It was our son’s first city bus ride and I had planned every detail perfectly. We would go to the library for story time, have lunch downtown, walk to the old-fashioned candy store for a treat and take the bus home.

But ah, the best-laid plans of mice and men! By the time I realized the library wouldn’t be open for at least an hour, I was well into Plan B. After 20 minutes of browsing through a department store, I was sitting Indian styled on the floor protecting the head of a screaming banshee from doing bodily harm to himself all under the watchful eye of a city police officer. “Dear Lord, please help!” was my repetitious prayer.

Giving up on the outing, I finally tossed our son over my shoulder trekking four blocks to the bus stop and home sweet home. With each step, my agitated petitions were being answered. His flailing lessened and the reality of the morning’s events sank in as we boarded the bus. Fear had been talking and I had to look beyond the behavior to hear what it was telling my son.

“Sorry, mom,” he repeated through his tears. And my arms, which previously carried him down the street like a sack of potatoes now warmly embraced his worn-out frame. He buried his head in my arms and slept the rest of the way home. I quietly offered up prayers of thanksgiving.

Our son came with no instructions, but what child, adopted or not, does? And yet, the only true, how-to manual any parent has at their disposal is God’s word. As parents, we learn to “trust in the Lord with ALL our heart and lean not on our own understanding.” We learn to embrace our children through love, consistency and constancy. And if all else fails, we learn to stand, reaching out for support from loved ones and wise counsel from professional, Christian therapists.

Well, three months after baby Jesus was put away with the rest of the Christmas decorations, I got to experience another precious moment. While running errands, our son recited the entire resurrection story from the backseat of our minivan as we sat at the stoplight.

“Mom, guess what? See those crosses? That’s where Jesus and the two thieves were. One’s with him in heaven and Jesus isn’t there anymore!” “Him? He said,’ him’!” I had to hold back the tears when the light changed and our son resumed playing “smash ‘em up” with his action figures. That precious moment caught me marveling at God’s handiwork. And from this particular parenting vantage point forged from consistency and love, the view was quite spectacular!

Doris Cush provides true-life musings on her blog, Embrace His Truth (www.embracehistruth.blogspot.com). Infused with humor, encouragement and a bit of “real talk,” she loves bringing truth to life’s common misconceptions. Doris’ spare time involves more writing, ministry, teaching, crafting and songwriting detail with her husband, Dan. Their adoptive vantage point includes 11-year old, Jakji and a 4-year old Rhodesian Ridgeback-Beagle mix, Ginger.

Overcoming Anger

by Jenny Smith

I sank slowly to the ground in my kitchen, right in the same spot, where the cabinets meet and form a v-shape. For some reason I’m drawn here every time. Maybe on some level the closeness of the cabinets feels like someone’s comforting arms. Not that anyone would comfort me if they knew what I had just done.

As tears poured down my face I feel so helpless, defeated and shameful. I’m in church weekly, a volunteer at the elementary school, and harboring a secret that if anyone knew would cause me to lose everything. Why can’t I get my anger under control? Why do I hurt my little ones, with my words and actions, over and over?

My secret was anger. The cycle was vicious. I would blow up, cry my eyes out in my corner and then get up acting like it never happened. Deep down I wanted to change, I did everything I knew to do. I prayed, I tried and I failed, over and over. At the time, I was teaching an adult class at church, we had started a study on the book of James. It was in that book where I discovered something that changed me.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16 NIV).

I can still remember when I saw those words on the page, I started sweating and I felt like I might throw up. I wanted God to make my anger go away, but I would never consider telling anyone. What would they do? Who would they tell? How would people treat me?

My girls were young, Meghan was nine, Katie was six and Lauren was four. I knew what I was doing was marking their lives. ‘Confess your faults’ must have rolled around my head for days. One evening I was walking down the hall at church and I saw our Pastor’s wife. As I asked her if we could talk, I started stammering. I thought I was going to die! I really can’t remember exactly what I told her, but it was at that moment that I changed.

The power of a secret is huge! Once I pulled my secret out into the light, then God started showing me what steps I needed to take next to be healed. In my case, it was telling my husband. That was a painful conversation; he was so disappointed in me. Next, came getting down with the girls individually and telling them bluntly it was sinning when mom said/did that, and it was wrong. Would they forgive me?

Now my girls are seventeen, thirteen and eleven, and they still remember some of the bad times, but what they remember most is that mom changed. I’m not the same anymore, I have been healed!

If you are hanging on to a secret, I know that if you share it the power will be broken. Find someone you can trust and tell them. Nothing is more exciting than freedom!

Jenny’s passion is sharing both her struggles and successes with women to encourage them in their own walk with Jesus. Jenny and her husband Chad, reside in Adairsville, Georgia with their three girls, Meghan, Katie, and Lauren. You can visit Jenny’s website at www.keepinginstride.com for more resources.

Tips for Preparing Your Child for Challenges

By Glynnis Whitwer

The promise of a new school year burns bright this time of year. Crisp white paper and sharpened pencils are at the ready, as excited children (and moms) fill clean, new backpacks with supplies. Back-to-school shopping has restocked the closets with shoes that fit, jeans that are long enough and jackets to replace the ones that were left on the playground in March.

By the first day of school, parents will have prepared their children well. But, have they thought of everything? Have parents prepared their children to deal with the anxiety of change, the fear of harder tests and the possible bullying from a new classmate?

Sadly, most of us don’t know how to prepare our children for the emotional challenges of school. We tend to find out about issues when they have escalated into problems. This year, I’d like to share a few tips for preparing children to deal with some of the most common problems they might face in the coming months.

Stress

People get stressed when pressures accumulate faster than our ability to adapt, last longer than our ability to maintain control, or our internal makeup is unable to deal with problems. Given that children have very little control over their circumstances, they are at a great risk of facing stress. Here are a few things parents can do:
· Create a stress-free environment at home. Establishing calming routines in the mornings, afternoons and evenings give your children a chance to regroup.
· Limit extra-curricular activities for all family members. Parents can model healthy activity loads when children are very young. Lots of time at home enables you to finish homework, study for test and work on projects without stress.
· Honor the Sabbath. This is difficult for most families, but it was God’s design for a day of well-needed rest. Try and build in a day where everyone is free to celebrate life together.

Fear

Many children will deal with fear at school. Fear often manifests itself with physical symptoms before your child will be able to communicate his emotions. Be attuned to slight hesitancy, upset stomachs or difficulty sleeping. What you can do:
· Establish a culture of openness at home. Always take your child’s fear seriously and investigate a concern. Your child will grow to trust that you will take her seriously.
· Desensitize your child. If your child is naturally hesitant and fearful, introduce new situations gradually. If the start of school is fearful, then practice walking to school the week before. Talk through possible situations. If you’ve never be separated before, then have some practice runs where you leave your child at a friend’s house for a short time and then return.
· Have an action plan. Play the “What If?” game. What if mom isn’t there to pick you up? What if you forget your lunch? What if you get picked on at recess? Talk though the potentially fearful situations and have a plan.

Bullying
Sadly, bullies are a part of life. Statistics say that up to 90% of schoolchildren will be bullied. Unfortunately, shame and a code of silence often keeps parents from knowing about it until it’s too late. Thankfully, there are things you can do to bully-proof your child.
· Don’t over-protect. Teach your children early on to deal with problems themselves. Children who run to adults over every small problem tend to be bullied more than children who are calmly assertive in meeting their own needs.
· Invest in your children’s friendships. Good friends are protection against bullies. Make an effort to invite other children to your home, or to join your family on outings. Create situations where your child can interact with others and develop good friendships.
· Teach your children to stand up for others. This might be controversial to you, but children need to know their parents would support them if they had to defend someone. We need to raise a generation who will defend the weak. It’s called moral courage and we need more young men and women who won’t tolerate injustice. That means getting involved and not walking away when someone is getting bullied. Another mom will thank you for it.

Problems are a part of life. We will always have them. Perhaps one of the best gifts we can give our children is to equip them with practical ways to deal with the everyday issues of life. I believe they’ll thank you for it when they’ve become adults who persevere through pain, and come out victorious.


Glynnis has written a book on this subject titled “When Your Child is Hurting.” In the book, she explores these three topics, plus 11 other common, everyday issues children face. Each chapter contains Scripture verses, inspiring quotes and discussion questions to be used in a small group setting or individually. It’s filled with practical parenting tips and encouraging stories. Click here to purchase or read more.

Christ-Like in the Bleachers

By Sara Jo Poff

The roar of the parents’ voices filled the gym. Admittedly, the game was getting tense, but the situation was worsening. It was the last quarter and the teams were tied for the championship. Parents were beginning to scream over the sound of the coach and the kids on the basketball court were becoming confused. When I loudly but politely asked the parents to calm down, the roar quickly shifted to whispers. One mom, however, turned to me excitedly and said, “Sorry; it’s just that we’ve never won a championship!” The coaches looked grateful for the silence and the elementary players no longer tripped over their own feet in perplexity.

Currently, 41 million children in the U.S. participate in team sports. Sadly, 70 percent of them will drop out before turning 13. Sadder even still is the reason they drop out: parental pressure. According to a Michigan State Youth Institute survey, the majority of these 28.7 million children cited “adults, particularly parents” as their reason for dropping out and the main reason for the game becoming a “joyless, negative experience.” According to these numbers, seven out of ten children on your child’s team are feeling an overload of pressure to play. Consider the following plays to make sure your child isn’t one of them:

Examine Your Intentions

Whether it’s for the chance of becoming pro or the opportunity to learn good sports skills and conduct, parents are doing everything they can to put their children in extracurricular activities, and for good reason. Team sports are respectable opportunities for children to learn things like competition, new skills, good sportsmanship, and parental encouragement. Many of these children, at least at first, are having FUN! It’s only when the interest of winning supersedes these goals that the pressure starts emerging. In some cases, parents live vicariously through their child and develop an over-identified zeal for the game.

In response to the growing number of incidences of abusive behavior from parents towards coaches, athletes, and officials, many organizations offer training programs for parents on good sportsmanship. One of these organizations, the American Youth Soccer Organization, requires parents of players younger than 8 years old to participate in sportsmanship and behavioral conduct classes. Others, like the Michigan High School Athletic Association, have put together a video for parents on appropriate behavior at sporting events that can be viewed at www.mhsaa.com/services.

Rewind and Replay

It is important to take a good look at which kind of sideline parent we are, especially as Christians. Whether our children are in sports or not, it is crucial for them to feel unconditionally loved, emotionally supported, and encouraged to pursue their interests.

In order to provide the encouragement and support children need, parents must first get back to the main reasons for putting them in sports. Foremost, focus on skill building, good sportsmanship, and physical movement.

Secondly, trust your child’s coach to do the coaching. This doesn’t, of course, mean you should have a naïve sense of faith in the coach, because they’re parents just like us. But, if you haven’t observed any verbal, emotional, or especially physical abuse from them and see the coach teaching good skills to the children, let them give the directions at games. All too often, children have voices hollering at them from so many directions that they are unable to hear their coach or know who to listen to. Be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19 NIV)

At the same time, make sure your child can hear encouragement from you during the game. “Good pass,” “nice shot,” or “you’ll get it next time” are good things for them to hear and aren’t distracting. Try to avoid comments like “nice try” or “almost.” [Parents], do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.” (Colossians 3:23 NASB)

Just as parents make mistakes, so, too, do officials. Instead of making sure these mistakes are corrected, think of it this way: it all evens out by the end of the season! If a foul wasn’t called and you know that your child was fouled (or even another child for that matter), don’t holler at the referee. Later on, a foul might be called for a clearly invalid foul. Use it as an opportunity to exemplify God’s commands to respect the authorities He has placed over you.

After holding back all “suggestions” during the game, don’t spend the car ride home telling your child how they could have done something differently. That behavior once again instills a winning-is-the-most-important-thing mentality. Tell them what they did well, and make sure they know that they have your support and encouragement no matter how they played.

Reach the Goal

If your child suddenly announces a decision to no longer play a particular sport, especially one they have greatly enjoyed in the past, gently inquire their reasons. Be supportive of those reasons and encourage them in other areas. Letting a child retire from a particular sport will not, as some parents think, turn them into “dropouts” or “quitters.” As long as that free time isn’t replaced with video games or television, your child can benefit immensely from making their own choices about things such as this.

If your child has other things they are not allowed to falter on, such as God’s commands, academics, and parental rules, they will know the importance of devotion and perseverance for the things that matter most in life.

The qualities that teach children good sportsmanship start at home, not on the field. Make sure your family strongly promotes good sports conduct in everything at home, from board games to yard games.

Use these ideas to help your children enjoy participation in sports. Get excited about opportunities to play. Treat them to ice cream after games no matter how well they played. and encourage good effort and self-reliance in their participation. Most importantly, make sure sports maintain their position as a hobby so they don’t turn into idols.


Sara Jo Poff, her husband Pete, and their five kids, enjoy playing basketball together from their home in Claremore, Oklahoma. As a freelance writer, Sara Jo specializes on topics related to natural family health, home education, and living for Christ. You can visit her at
www.healthyfamiliesforGod.com.

Why Don’t We Pray Together?

by Holly Good

In recent years I have come to learn the importance of praying not only for my family, but also with my family.

When my kids were toddlers, I would faithfully pray with them every night before bed.

But as they grew older and went to bed themselves, this routine eventually stopped.

Several years ago, I felt convicted about praying with my family.

Why was it that I could pray so easily with the youth in our church, with women at conferences all over the country, and with friends at Bible study, but not with my own family? Those precious people I live and do life with every day? Why did we not pray together?

There are many excuses and reasons I could drum up. But I won’t go there.

I will just happily report that we now freely periodically pray together. It’s a part of the DNA of our family. But don’t misunderstand me. We still squabble, have many typical family frustrations and have to punish our kids for making wrong choices. But we are also quick to pray for guidance, help and thanks together.

For example, it warms my heart when my 14 year old son will come to me and ask, ‘Mom, will you pray for my game today?’ I drop everything and pray right there with him. Just last night as we were dropping him off at the movies with some friends, he asked us to pray for him as he was getting out of the car. He has come to rely on our prayers for strength, encouragement and hope in numerous situations.

Several weeks ago, my husband noticed that a pipe in our home had sprung a leak for the second time in four months. We were extremely stressed and quite disturbed at this find. The flashbacks immediately poured in, reminding us of the probability of more bills, new carpet and drywall. It had been quite the ordeal the first time around.

But as the plumber was fixing what turned about to be a very minor pipe leak, he smelled gas while he was up in our attic. So without hesitation he switched gears and worked quickly to replace the faulty gas valve.

I couldn’t help but sigh, sit down and give thanks. The annoying second- time-around water leak lead us to the could-be-dangerous gas leak situation.

Thank you, Lord. Your ways are much higher than our ways. Thank you for that pesky pipe leak. Thank you for that sharp plumber. Thank you that my husband noticed the pipe leak early before any significant water damage occurred. Thank you for keeping us safe.

So that very night, after the plumber had gone and we were finally able to turn our water back on, we sat in our family room and acknowledged the events which had taken place over the previous 36 hours. Then we prayed together, giving thanks for things that appear like annoying mishaps and unwanted expenses, but have a much bigger purpose.

Every time we gather and pray, He faithfully protects, loves, forgives, strengthens, heals, and binds our hearts closer.

I’ve learned that it’s one thing to tell my kids to pray. It’s something altogether different to join them in that adventure.

Tips for Praying with Your Family

* Keep it brief at first. You as the parent might be the only one to pray initially. Then after doing this several times, ask your children to pray. You might want to offer them a guideline, such as to pray at least three sentences.

* Use every day language in your prayers. This shows your kids that God wants to hear from them just as they are. This also helps to put them at ease when praying.

* Pray words of blessings over each child. This includes specific words of praise and encouragement. For example, Thank you, Lord, for Hillary’s sense of responsibility and hard work at her job.

* Help kids see where God is working. One way to acknowledge this is to keep a prayer journal and celebrate God’s goodness together.

* Encourage them to include prayer beyond the family time. Ask them how you can be praying for them and tell them how they can pray for you.


Holly Good is a wife, mother, and sold out servant of Christ. On staff with Proverbs 31 Ministries, her executive assistant position to Lysa TerKeurst finds her ministering to women all over the country at conferences, writing radio shows and authoring heart-stirring devotions sent to more than 300,000 subscribers. She is also the author of "Holly-Days" a much loved part of Lysa's daily blog. She enjoys her early morning runs with Lysa and is overwhelmingly humbled and honored to have the opportunity to serve Him in this ministry in such an incredible way. Holly lives with her husband and two teenage children in North Carolina. You can e-mail Holly@Proverbs31.org to connect with her.

Would My Kids Say That I Love Being a Mom?

Here’s a sneak peek at Lysa’s new book “Am I Messing Up My Kids? … And Other Questions Every Mom Asks…

Would My Kids Say That I Love Being a Mom?
By Lysa TerKeurst


This week I got a note from a friend of mine who is the young mom of three little boys. She's in that stage of complete and utter exhaustion. If you’re not in this season now, you can probably remember being knee deep in poopy diapers and scratching your greasy head, while simultaneously discovering the pattern on your over-sized sweatpants is, in fact, a collection of snot.

Her e-mail so touched my heart because I realized I am no longer there. But in the midst of being in that hard season of life, I thought I'd never get out of it. I truly felt like motherhood would be full of poop, snot, exhaustion, and over-sized sweat pants for 18 years. And, I felt super guilty for not loving every minute of it.

I'm in a different season now. (Though I still find myself wearing those over-sized sweat pants!) And I realize it's my responsibility to call back to those behind me with encouragement, support and love. So, to all my young mama friends- here's my call back to you...

Sweet young mother- I struggled so much when my kids were little. People would tell me to appreciate these years, for they pass by in a blink. I'd go home blinking my little eyeballs to death wishing they would pass a little quicker.

But I must say, God used those years to grow me and stretch me more spiritually than anything else I've ever been through. Even when you only get little snippets of time with God, His lessons are there moment by moment.

Just the fact that I survived my first daughter is evidence of God's amazing grace working in my life. She once bit my face leaving me with a hole- A HOLE !- in the side of my cheek. With everything in me, I wanted to march her back to that hospital that aided me in birthing her and demand some DNA testing. I was certain I'd brought home the wrong child.

That is until my mama told me she'd been praying for years for me to birth someone just like me. Ahem. Payback for her was pure bliss.

Anyhow, moment by moment I survived. Life did not pass me by. Opportunity did not pass me by. And my ministry was right there waiting for me when I changed that last diaper. Your dreams, goals, aspirations and hopes for how your future will look, will be right there waiting for you as well.

Those years where I only did little people ministry within my home worked out some kinks between me and the Lord, and perfectly prepared my heart to be so much more real and authentic. I came to realize my desperate need for God like never before.

I came to realize my desperate need for grace like never before. I came to realize that even a rule-following girl like me can be pushed to cuss. And then I realized even more grace than before.

Hold on sweet sister. There is nothing wrong with you when you feel like you love those little people, but some days you don't like them very much. It's okay. We've all been there. This too shall pass. And when it does, you'll actually miss parts of it. And you'll actually not miss some parts of it too!

You see, it’s all part of a grand plan God has to knit you into His story. Day by day, He is weaving, stretching and developing something so incredibly magnificent. Some days you’ll feel like your life is just a tangled mess. But those knots are necessary to ground us in the Lord and make the fabric of our life strong. Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

If you will hold on to that precious heart of wisdom, you are in the process of gaining day by day, and you’ll start to see the beauty, even in the imperfections of your life. And a mom who embraces beauty despite imperfections, is a woman whose kids know she loves being a mom.


As I walked up the front steps of my house last night, I paused and breathed in the most glorious air of familiarity. Home. My favorite place in the world. The place where I do life.

A land of missing hamsters, brace faced teens, homework posters, dented cars, wood eating squirrels, a shotgun toting husband and more dust bunnies than I care to admit. Where conversation abounds, tears are shed, frustrations aired, and laughter swells to fill our crazy life.

This is the dream of my heart.

So, after all is said and done, the thrill of my day is scampering back to the square little place we've staked out in the world- this place where my people gather each night with an amazing sense of belonging.

This place where it's okay to wear ragged jeans, no makeup, and forget I even own a brush. With all its beautiful imperfections, this is my place. My home.



And yes, yes, a thousand times over yes, I love the privilege of being called Mom.

Overflowing with practical ideas, short Bible studies, and plenty of encouragement, this inspiring resource will help overwhelmed mothers turn to God's grace as their lifeline.

“Am I Messing Up My Kids? … And Other Questions Every Mom Ask is a re-release of “The Bathtub is Overflowing, But I Feel Drained.”

Click here to buy this book from P31 Ministries.

Don’t Fight the Mask

by Melissa Nesdahl


“No! No! No, mommy, no!” With hot tears streaming down her red, swollen face, my tiny two year old, Hannah, thrashed her body from side to side in desperate attempt to break my hold. As she sat on my lap inside of the loving but firm embrace of one hand, I struggled to use the other to place the mask that would deliver life-giving albuterol to her sick, RSV stricken body. Desperately wanting the best for Hannah, I encouraged her to quit resisting the doctor’s order because it would restore health to her weak body.

I love being a mother. When God blessed my husband and I with our firstborn, Grace, I welcomed the opportunity to stay home with her, investing all my time and energy into raising this beautiful girl God entrusted to us. Shortly after her first birthday, God surprised us with another pregnancy. Hannah came just two days after Grace turned two.

To care for myself, I rose about two hours before the girls, allowing time to exercise, get myself ready, and enjoy some Bible study. I felt spiritually full and ready for my day when the girls awoke. Life changed, however, when the girls grew into toddlers. Suddenly I heard “mooommy!” just as I would get out of bed. Energetic and anxious for the day’s activities, Grace and Hannah ran out of their room to greet me with their morning hugs and kisses. And my morning routine was gone.

Feeling as though I had no “me time,” I found myself struggling. I so desperately craved the exercise and Bible study squeezed out by the needs of the day, but there didn’t seem to be time. I woke up tired, cared for my girls, spent quality time with my amazing husband, volunteered in the community, was present for my family and friends, and then crashed hard at night. From sun up to sun down my day was jam-packed with activity, and I was running on empty.

Snappy and out of shape, I broke. Something had to change. I couldn’t keep operating this way and still be the person that God created me to be.

In my youth, I learned 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, which reads, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you are bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (NIV). Although I’d always considered it in relation to modesty, premarital sex, alcohol, and drugs, I unexpectedly found the verse creeping through my mind time and time again.

God was convicting me. When I envision temples, or a place of worship, I picture a pristine structure commanding reverence. But I was doing anything but respecting my body. Life’s busyness had sucked the discipline of exercise completely out of my life.

During Bible study, I requested prayer for wisdom. My husband and I considered purchasing an elliptical machine, but space and the safety of our children were concerns. The other possibility was joining a gym. Not surprisingly, I found challenges with that as well. My girls were never cared for by anyone other than family. Would they do okay with a stranger in a playroom? And, would I honestly have the ambition to leave the comforts of exercising in my own home to get myself and the kids loaded into the car each day, drive to a facility, unload the kids, get sweaty, reload the kids, drive home, unload the kids yet again, and get myself ready?

No! No! No, God, No! And in that moment, I became to God what Hannah was to me. She wanted physical health without the albuterol mask and I wanted physical, emotional, and spiritual health without needing to alter my routine. She flailed around pleading for me not to give her the treatment and I placed an agitated heart before God begging to be released from my situation. I said, “Please Hannah, just do this, I know it will make you well,” and my all-knowing God voiced the same to me.

Eventually Hannah gave up the fight. Trusting my words, she allowed me to place the mask against her face and very quickly her shallow, constricted breathing slowed into relaxed, fulfilling breaths. Likewise, I submitted to God’s voice. Confident that He was calling me to a gym, I pressed forward and purchased a membership.

God surprised me. Although the first few separations were rough, the girls adapted quickly and now they actually desire going to the playroom each day. Meanwhile, I get to bike while reading my Bible study, walk the treadmill as I listen to scripture, and run on the elliptical while enjoying Christian music – not to mention sharing meaningful fellowship with others.

What spiritual discipline has been put on the back burner in your life? What changes do you need to make to better honor your God-given temple? I beg that you don’t fight the mask. Please listen to His voice, because when the Great Physician writes a prescription it will always breathe life into your longing body.

Melissa Nesdahl is a wife, mother, volunteer, and independent Christian writer striving to foster faith development in the life of her readers. Previous publications include the Chicago Tribune, Pam Stenzel’s “Love Lessons: Purity is Possible” CD series’ leaders guide, and “Surviving China” in Kyria. Catch Melissa twittering at http://twitter.com/MelissaNesdahl.

Sexting? Is Your Child?

by Lynn Cowell

Concern seemed to spill from the girls’ lips as I heard their discussion developing in the back seat of the car. “You’ll help me as I confront her, right?” “Right.” Obviously, there was something happening in the lives of these seventh grade girls, causing them to be acting more like adults than ‘tweeners. Not wanting to pry, but feeling I like should be in the know, I continued to do the “mom eavesdrop”. “She said the pictures weren’t of her. They were of someone else, but why would you have pictures like that on your own phone?” Disappointment and sadness began to flood my heart. The world of sexting was crossing over into my child’s borders.

New Battlefield

Sexting is one of the newer battlefields we are now calling to fight upon for our children. Sexting is the new name for the act of sending, receiving or forwarding naked photos via your cell phone. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy conducted a survey which reported that one teenager in five reported having sent or posted naked photos of themselves.

Like me, you are probably thinking, “No way, not my children.” Unfortunately, it is more common than most of us would ever want to believe and I, for one, don’t want to be caught off guard. I’m the type of mom who would rather face things head on; get it out in the open and talk about it. Knowing this as well as the fact that I like to keep up on the latest things teens face, my fifteen-year-old daughter called me to check out a tv program. She was flipping through the channels and found Tyre Banks was hosting a panel of teen girls and their moms. Their topic: sexting. Hoping I might gain some insight into the how’s and why’s of this new rage, I invested the next hour of my time.

Want To Be Valued

As I watched, I looked over the girls on the show. They didn’t look rough or harsh. In fact, they looked a lot like any girl I would see at my daughter’s school or in our church. Then, I began to listen. “I liked being told that I was beautiful.” “The boys finally started to pay attention to me.” “I really don’t see it as that big of a deal.” My heart sank. It’s the same old trick from our enemy, Satan; he has just used a new means.

Girls want to be valued. They want to know that they are beautiful and wanted. I used the opportunity to once again instill in my daughters the truth of who they are in Christ. They have Someone who tells them that they are beautiful - their Creator. He is paying attention to you every minute of every day. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. When we use them in ways He didn’t intend, it is a really big deal! I reinforce these truths by having framed pictures with verses and sayings hanging in their rooms. My prayer is that when they are doing their homework, talking on the phone or straightening their hair, they will remind them of just who they are.

I also remind them of the practical consequences that take place when we choose not to follow His ways. Many children do not realize that once a photograph is on a cell phone, it can be put on the Internet where access is unlimited. Not only is this a problem for the morality of our children, but what they may not know, is that it is against the law. Our children can be caught in a web that they did not create nor want to be a part of simply by being a recipient of an unwanted picture. Our children need to be reminded that one dumb decision can have a lifetime of repercussions.

Don’t Be Afraid to Talk

So what is a parent to do? In my home, we removed the ability to access the Web and the transmission of pictures from their cell phones. This way our children cannot send nor receive photos that they didn’t asked for.
For some of us, these discussions can be so uncomfortable. I asked my daughter for her advice. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just talk about it in a normal voice or as you would anything else. It is really common in a teen’s life. If you make a big deal about it, they won’t want to talk about it.”
Don’t be afraid to talk about sexting with your teen. If you don’t bring it up, someone else will. Show your child you care by entering their world and addressing the hard stuff. You’ll be glad you did and even if they don’t tell you, they’ll be glad you did too!

Lynn Cowell writes from Charlotte, North Carolina where she is a part of the speaking team for Proverbs 31 Ministries. She writes every Wednesday on issues about teen culture. Join her at www.LynnCowell.com. She writes for your teens as well at www.HeIsThatIntoYou.com.

The Right Start

Get Your Family Off to a Great Start Each Day with These Healthy Breakfast Tips
by Krista Burdine

A noted Chinese proverb says, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Moms could adapt these words to say, "Give a child good food, and she will eat good food at home. Teach her how to make wise choices with her food, and she will eat good food wherever she goes for the rest of her life."

One of the first choices we make in any day is of what to eat. Breakfast is not the largest meal of the day, but nutritionists are always telling us that it is an important one.

Why Eat Breakfast?
Consider these benefits of breakfast eating, as reported by the Mayo Clinic. Those who take the time for a good breakfast (i.e. not coffee and a doughnut!) have a tendency to eat more nutritious food in general; to accomplish more before lunchtime; to keep their weight under control; and to have lower cholesterol, reducing certain health risks.

Kids especially can benefit from breakfast with improved coordination, concentration, and ability to think clearly. Moms want the best for their kids, and one very simple way to give them the best is to make the effort to feed them a good breakfast each day.

How Can I Make a Healthy Breakfast Part of the Morning Routine?
With today's busy lifestyles, getting a good start can be quite a challenge. Planning ahead always helps. It starts with laying out clothes and other necessary items the night before. Then, if the right food is in the pantry, and the choice for the morning already pulled to the front of the fridge, breakfast time can proceed a lot more smoothly.

What Makes a Good Breakfast?
There are several components to any healthy meal, including protein, whole grain, dairy, and fruits and vegetables. According to UCLA Health, the magic is in the combination of elements. When we consume a breakfast with at least three of the above components, we set our bodies up to be able to regulate our blood sugar throughout the rest of the day. We also give our digestive system enough to keep it busy for longer than a bowl of sugar cereal does.

Some suggested traditional breakfast combinations include high-fiber cereal, skim milk, and a banana; whole-grain toast with peanut butter and a glass of 100% juice; a hard-boiled egg, an apple, and an English muffin; or a smoothie made with plain yogurt, fruit, and a couple tablespoons of wheat germ. Less traditional, but still appropriate, options could include leftover veggie pizza on whole-grain crust; cut-up veggies layered in a tortilla with salsa and string cheese; or even a baked potato topped with broccoli and cheese.

How Do I Train the Kids?
Moms can help their kids learn to make good breakfast choices in two ways.

First, offer nutritious options by only bringing "good choice" food home from the store. Just a few alterations can make breakfast a whole lot healthier. Change one item a month for a few months, and they will have gradually re-educated their taste buds.

For example, choose cereals with higher fiber, such as Raisin Bran, Shredded Wheat, and Multi-Grain Cheerios. Switch from flavored to plain yogurt, and stock up on frozen fruit to stir in. Begin to serve less juice, but make sure it is 100% juice with no sugar added, then dilute it about 20% with water. Develop the habit of only buying whole-grain bread. One final trick is to invest in some wheat germ and/or ground flaxseed, and stir it into all kinds of things from muffin mix to yogurt to oatmeal.

Second, moms can influence their kids by setting a good example. When moms eat right, the kids learn to distinguish good from poor choices. This can be a challenge for those of us still loving the fact that we are on our own and have the freedom to choose! But it is so important, given our role in setting our kids up for long-term success.

More than Good Food
Choosing a smart start in the morning includes one other key element. All of the child-rearing good we do is useless if we fail to teach our kids the importance of looking to God at the beginning of each day. Psalm 5:3 says, "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation" (NIV). Again, we start by setting the example of doing so ourselves: Take a moment to invite God to be part of your morning before even getting out of bed; allow ten minutes to read God's Word before getting the kids up.

Then, help them do the same. As you greet the kids, sit down together for a moment to ask God to be part of their day. Some parents even wake their kids early enough that the kids can do their own quiet time before getting ready for school. It is so simple, yet all it takes is just a little planning ahead, and the rewards will continue for years.

Sometimes change is difficult, but a mom's job is to stand strong. The kids may complain for awhile, but soon they will have forgotten the old ways. Remember, the changes are not just to give them good fuel for the day, but to help them learn to make good choices for the rest of their lives!

Tree Huggin' Momma

by Carolyn B. Ruch


“Mom, I’m leaving now.” He hesitated at the door, his backpack flung over his shoulder.
Wow, he’s waiting for me. He actually wants a hug.
It had been a wake up call, a two-by-four moment. Bam! I felt the jolt of the invisible board hit me right upside my head. Listening to the radio I heard the voice of wisdom. “Continue to hug your teenagers even if they act like they don’t want to be bothered or could care less.” That caught my attention. I began to ponder.
When did I stop hugging him, Lord? I don’t remember the last time I reached out and touched him?
Physical affection doesn’t come naturally to my mother, to her mother or to me. I come from a long line of stoics. Proud of our abilities to suck up the tears, pick our selves up by our bootstraps, we keep moving on no matter what comes our way. But I couldn’t ignore the voice of wisdom wafting through the airways loud and clear. “Your teenagers need hugs and physical affection from their parents at this time in their lives--now more than ever.”
So where do I begin, Lord? How do I begin? He’ll think I’m nuts if I just start hugging him. And to be honest, I’m frightened he’ll reject me. I had grown weary of his apathetic attitude and struggled constantly not to take his eye-rolling personally. But all of the intellectual reasoning in the world could not take the sting out of his constant displays of rejection. I don’t think I’m up for the task, Lord. Oh, help!
But I made a decision. I took the challenge.
It was just another morning to my son, but to me it was the day I was altering the course of my family’s history.
“Luke, I’d like to hug you each morning before you leave for school. I know that you may not like it, and it may feel awkward, but I really want you to know just how much I love you.”
He looked at me. His eyes circled in their sockets. His shoulders shrugged, and apathy oozed from his pores.
Ugh! This isn’t going to be easy, Lord.
I reached toward him. He stood still. As I embraced him, his body stiffened. My goodness, a tree trunk would feel more inviting. This is going to be harder than I imagined.
Discouraged but determined, I made a commitment to myself to continue the hug “tree-tment” each and every morning.
Day after day began with one goal in mind: hug that teenager before he gets out the door. I had to stop him many times from whizzing right by me, reeling him back so I could establish my tree-hugging routine.
But slowly I began to notice a subtle response. Was that a squeeze back I just detected? Did I really feel a touch?
Then one morning, I was distracted from my goal. While emptying the dishwasher I heard a “ha-hmm.” I looked up. There he stood, in a slump, slouched against the door jam with his backpack hanging off his shoulder. “Does he have a cold?” I wondered. But wait. I was wrong. He was waiting for me. He was waiting for a hug! And his momma was willing to oblige.
Oh, I was elated! My diligence had paid off. The voice of wisdom was right. I sauntered around the kitchen counter trying to pace myself, resisting the temptation to tackle him and thus overwhelm him with my boundless joy. I put my arms around him and received one of the most precious hugs of my life.
I stood peering out the window. My eyes followed him as he walked to his car and slid into the driver’s seat. As he drove away, I could not contain my excitement any longer. With the voice of a sports announcer I bellowed as I pulled my fist down through the air, “Yes! She hugs, she scores!
What a way to start the day. Thank you, Lord.
Months passed. The hugs continued and Christmas brought a new puppy to our family, a bundle of black fur and energy that needed to be taken to the backyard to go potty each morning. That somehow became my job, just another to add to my list of motherly duties.
I stood outside one particular morning in January while our puppy busied himself at my feet. I was distracted once again. Suddenly, my son bounded down our deck stairs heading toward his car. Running late again. I thought. I heard his car door slam and continued on with my mission, when I heard his car door open. Moments later I looked up to see him standing at the entrance to our backyard, a smile on his face. Waiting once again. Waiting for me. I smiled back as I scooped up the little fur ball and headed directly toward my son with a big hug just waiting to be unleashed.
He got out of his car, Lord. He stopped what he was doing--all for a hug. Resolute, I vowed to never again question the value of a hug to my teenage son. The voice of wisdom was right, and I was glad I had listened.

Visit Carolyn at her blog: tamarsredemption.blogspot.com

A Cup of Cold Water

by Sharon Sloan

“If anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is My disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42 (NIV)

The fiendish heat wave was in its seventh day. Local news reporters were urging residents to stay inside in air conditioning as the air quality was so poor. One particular evening after dinner, the oppressive heat eased up just a touch, and we decided to brave the outdoors. I sat on our front porch while Joshua and Gabrielle played contently in the front yard with some neighborhood friends.

A distinguished-looking man with a friendly countenance walked at a purposeful pace down the sidewalk. Quickly observing an aide assisting him with campaign literature, I knew he must be a hopeful politician seeking support in the upcoming elections.

As he strode up our driveway and reached out his hand to shake mine, it was clear his body was struggling with the stifling heat. As his brow glistened with large beads of sweat, his breathing was noticeably labored. His once crisp and perfectly-ironed shirt was now wrinkled and soaked with perspiration. The visitor’s efficient greeting was an effort to politely keep cadence so he could complete his neighborhood campaign and find necessary relief from the heat.

All the children had kept playing during this brief encounter, but Joshua had been taking notice.As the man was walking down our driveway towards our neighbor’s home, Joshua said, “Mommy, that man and his helper look very hot. I was just thinking I would like to give them some cold water. He has wet spots all over his shirt, and cold water would help him.”

My heart rejoiced in Joshua’s compassionate and responsive heart. He genuinely cared and discerned the condition and needs of our unexpected callers. Joshua was loving in actions and in truth. “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 (NIV)

As my husband and I spend these precious parenting years in the trenches, our desire is to train our children how to apply 1 John 3:18 and be mindful of the needs of those God has placed in our paths. We prayerfully trust the Holy Spirit to gently nudge our children’s hearts and fill them with the joy and peace that accompanies obedience. All around us are opportunities to love with actions that bring honor to God.

Ever since the children were small toddlers, we’ve walked around our cul-de-sac together to bring morning papers from the bottom of neighbors’ driveways up to their porches. On trash collection mornings, we often would bring the neighbors’ empty trashcans up to their garage doors. Now, when our children see a newspaper or an empty trashcan, they take action instinctively on their own. Though they are young, they can serve the Lord in useful and significant ways. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Tim. 4:12 (NIV)

Some other ideas may include leaving a home-made card or a little gift at the door of someone hurting or needing encouragement. At Christmas, small gifts can be purchased for other children whose parents may be struggling financially. Sponsoring a child through Compassion International and having your children pray for and write to that child is a beautiful way of awakening your child’s heart to the needs of others. For Easter, through Samaritan’s Purse Ministries, musical stuffed lambs that play “Jesus Loves Me” can be sent to children in third world countries. As we respond in obedience to His leading, these acts of kindness stir children’s sensitivity and prime their hearts to be actively looking for ways to serve others in their family, neighborhood and around the world.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24 (NIV) A few years ago, we were inspired by another Christian family in our community who put love into action. So, following their lead, for our birthdays that year, rather than receiving birthday gifts for ourselves, we requested new library books for a Christian school in New Orleans that had been devastated by Hurricane Katrina. In total, our little family received almost 200 new books for the school after we had celebrated all four of our birthdays.

This year, our birthday ministry outreach was by theme. Joshua chose basketball, and Gabrielle chose a theme of flip flops. Their party guests brought gift cards for footwear and new basketballs for Rock Ministries of Philadelphia, which ministers to at-risk young men of Philadelphia’s inner city. Gabrielle’s guests generously gave more than $400 in footwear gift cards, and Joshua’s guests donated 30 new basketballs for these young men at Rock Ministries.

Seemingly small expressions of kindness can soften hearts and bear eternal fruit. As we love others with actions and in truth, He is faithful to bring forth a harvest. When we extend His love and kindness to others, they can see His perfect love, salvation and provision. Our rewards blossom in our soul as He fills us with His joy and peace.

As Joshua served our visitors bottles of cold water for their journey that evening, his reward was a personal treasure in his heart between himself and our Heavenly Father. “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.” Matthew 25:40 (NIV) With a pure heart, Joshua had served our Lord and King a cup of cold water. He was loving with actions and walking in the truth of God’s Word.

Indeed, there is no greater joy for a Christian parent. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4 (NIV)

Sharon Sloan and her devoted husband, Jim, live in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. They have two precious children: Joshua (8) and Gabrielle (6). Sharon is a She Speaks! Graduate and has had devotions published through P31 on-line devotions. A paralegal by profession, Sharon now works part-time at her church as an administrative assistant. She leads a P31 Gather & Grow group in her home. Sharon is passionate about encouraging others in their personal walk with the Lord. The Sloans invite you to visit them at: www.joyinthetruth.blogspot.com. Please share how God has led you to love with actions so we can all spur one another on!