Why We Homeschool

by Lori Hatcher

Thirty years ago when homeschooling first reappeared on the educational radar screen, it was limited primarily to families who appeared to be, shall I say, unusual. One family that achieved national recognition left their suburban lifestyle and moved to a goat farm in upstate New York to rear and educate their sons. The boys did quite well academically and ultimately secured full tuition scholarships to prestigious Ivy League colleges. The results were great, but what average family wants to go live on a goat farm for the purpose of educating their children?

Today, homeschooling has once again proven itself as a viable educational option. I say "once again," because for 200 years in this country homeschooling the only educational option. All of our founding fathers were quite well educated using the tutorial method. State-sanctioned "public education" did not come into full use until the late 1800's.

As the homeschooling mother of two teenaged girls, I am often asked the question, "So, why DO you homeschool?" While my answers are not the answers of all homeschooling families, I believe they capture the essence of why so many families choose to educate their children at home.

We homeschool because it gives us:

A rich family life-
The nature of homeschooling lends itself to activities that the whole family can do together. Instead of being age- and grade-segregated, all members of the family explore an area of science, history, culture, or the arts together. We've visited the places where the Civil War began and ended, watched loggerhead turtle babies released to the sea, toured the museums in Washington, D.C., and lay on our backs in the grass to track the stars in the summer sky. In addition to the educational lessons my children have learned, we have had the opportunity to build relationships with each other as we built family memories.

The chance for our children to pursue their interests- Because homeschooling is more time efficient, our children have more time to pursue their areas of interest once the academic portion of their school day is complete. One daughter is fascinated by the political process. The flexibility of the homeschool setting allowed her to travel to Florida in 2004 to campaign for former President George W. Bush in the I-40 corridor of Orlando with a group of 100 homeschooled students. Another daughter loves children and swimming. One day she hopes to be a physical therapist. Our homeschooling schedule allowed her to work with a USC grant project teaching autistic and mentally retarded children to feel comfortable in the water.

The freedom to be children-
When other children ask my girls if they have homework, they reply, "ALL our work is homework!" It is a funny way to comment on the fact that their homework is built into their school day. Because they have the benefit of someone working one-on-one with them in challenging subject areas, extra remedial work and practice is not necessary once they have completed their assignments. This allows them time to play outside with their friends, read for fun, daydream, and generally just be a kid.

The chance to disciple our children-
We have the freedom to open our school day with prayer and Bible reading, stop during the day to address an area of sin or disobedience, or deal with an area of character development using the principles found in God's Word. We take time in our school day to cook a meal for a sick friend, visit a neighbor in the hospital, and serve our church. We memorize Bible verses as a part of our school work, not in addition to it. I learned the Ten Commandments for the first time as I helped the girls learn them for AWANA. Now that they're teenagers, we work our way through devotionals that teach them how to keep themselves pure, be a witness to their friends, and impact the world for Christ. Our daughters see us living out our faith day in and day out because they are with us.

The chance to live life at a slower pace-
One friend shared with me that her family life was so busy that between school, homework, extracurricular activities, church activities, and the rarely shared family meal, that she didn't even have time to bathe her children during the week. Our lifestyle, while still busy, makes time for home-cooked meals with friends, sleeping in after a late night, and read-alouds after dinner.

A chance to be well socialized-
Because they have been taught in a learning environment that regularly reaches beyond a classroom, my children can communicate and interact well with people of all ages, not just their peers. They learned to talk with the elderly as we visited a nursing home every week for a year and a half. They learned to enjoy young children as they volunteered at summer camp and Vacation Bible School. They learned to relate well to adults as they worked alongside them and learned from them in various campaign events and ministry opportunities. Imagine my surprise to hear my daughter interact in an informed and articulate way with her Senator regarding a recent education bill he had introduced! The world is not age-segregated, so my children need to be able to relate to people of all ages and walks of life. Homeschooling has given them that opportunity.

I am the first to say that homeschooling, like any other educational alternative, is not for every family. It is right for mine, and it might be right for yours. I encourage you to evaluate your current situation, pray with your spouse, and ask God to show you what is best for your family. If you feel led to consider homeschooling, I encourage you to do some research. Check out some books from the library, talk to a homeschooling friend, do a web search on it. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without finding fault, and it shall be given to him." (James 1:5) NKJV God bless you as you seek His will for your family!


A 17-year veteran homeschooler of two daughters, Lori Hatcher shares life with her youth pastor husband David. She is the author of the book Joy in the Journey -- Words of Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms, available in early 2012 from Mardel.Com. Visit her blog, Be Not Weary at www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com for more encouragement.

Recovering Genuine Companionship

by John and Stasi Eldredge

John has a circle of things he loves to do. It includes fly- fishing, rock climbing, working on cars, hunting, reading, smoking cigars, and just about anything with adventure in it. I have a circle of things I love to do. It encompasses going to movies, working in and enjoying my garden, talking, taking walks, worshipping, and reading novels.

Oh, dear. Hopefully, somewhere, we can find some overlap. I am also the mother of three sons. I live in a house hold of men. I love them passionately but it can be lonely at times being the only woman around. Do some of you feel that way too? It isn’t easy to find places to connect with them and to share in their lives. I don’t play Xbox. I’m not a hunter. I’m not a rock climbing, mountain biking, backpacking, snowboarding teenager. Often I don’t even understand them. I long for real relationships with them and have been praying for ways to connect.

And John just gave me a Ping- Pong table for Christmas. Ladies, I know what you are thinking—doghouse gift; what a miss! But John knew what he was doing. My family had a Ping-Pong table while I was growing up and I spent hours playing with my brother and with my dad. Those are sweet memories for me, times of real connection with my family. The present of a Ping- Pong table was an invitation to connect. Now I am playing with my sons and my husband. Team games. Single games. It doesn’t matter games, because we are spending time together doing something we all enjoy. Big sigh. Yay!

I also love water. I love being near it, on it, and in it. Pools, ponds, lakes, rivers, streams, oceans, and even bathtubs! All of it. Diving in, putting my head under, swimming as deeply as I can breathes life into me. I’m happy sitting next to a beautiful mountain lake; I am happier paddling a canoe on top of it, but happier still diving into it. We have found ways to share our love of water. First, John introduced me to canoes, those wobbly precarious silent crafts that can explore shallow channels and mysterious inlets. How many adventures we have had paddling around lakes, bays, and rivers! He got me into my first kayak; I was so close to the water I was sitting in it but somehow still remained dry. It was while we were kayaking as a family that we came so breathlessly close to a humpback whale; I felt I’d crossed back into Eden.

Over the years we have found other ways to build companionship. We love to travel. We love going out for Chinese food. We share with each other movies that we like, or something from a book that has stirred us. John loves the wilderness; we found a way to enjoy it together using lodges. In this way we can spend a day out on the trail, but at night I get a shower and a bed!

And, we still enjoy many of our loves alone, or with other friends. There is no need to feel jealous that your spouse loves to do things without you. There is simply no way you can be everything to each other; your hearts are too vast and your interests are too diverse or you to “be one in everything.” It would be weird if it were otherwise. And of course you want your spouse to have a “full cup,” to be filled and happy and well; they will be so much easier to live with. And they won’t be looking to you to make them happy. So good grief, do not fight their enjoyment of other things or other people! Sometimes I [Stasi] would feel that I was in competition with John’s close friends and other interests.

How freeing to come to understand that that was not the case. The place I hold in John’s
heart is not up for grabs. (But John had to reassure me this was so, and God needed to move in my heart so I could believe it.) There is an ebb and flow to the companionship of a marriage. During hunting season, I don’t expect to see John much. But afterward, I do expect him to come home and re engage with me! There are seasons when the two of us are “connecting” well and seasons when we aren’t. What you want to do is create an environment where over time and with intentionality, you are nurturing companionship.

Every day is unrealistic; once a month isn’t often enough. Somewhere in between.
This can feel a little awkward if it has been a while since the two of you spent time together. Initiate anyway, and don’t be put off if your first few efforts aren’t warmly received. A friend tried to get her husband to enjoy bubble baths; that was a miss. Watching American Idol might be a miss. Bass fishing might be a miss. But you are going to have to find some meeting place together. Tennis. Beachcombing. Vietnamese food. A favorite TV show. Scrabble. Square dancing. Do you ever read together? (One suggestion: Maybe you two could read “Love and War” together and talk about it chapter by chapter.)

Maybe you should just ask your spouse what they’d like to do. Our suggestion is to explore this together. Find those intersections of life that you each enjoy and both can share.

Excerpted from Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge Copyright © 2009 by John and Stasi Eldredge. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

The Hold of Hoarding

By Johanna Tooke

Maybe one of God’s greatest gifts to us is misery and suffering. After all, without them we’d continue to walk obliviously through life as though nothing were wrong. Like any normal human being I was doing my best to avoid undue pain. My strategy was a simple one: Do good, make things look good, and life will be good.

At all costs (literally at times) I wanted to avoid repeating pain or remembrance of it from life’s past. What’s more, I was convinced if I saved anything from my life that had represented a good memory or a happy time, somehow the darker times would fade out with the tangible memory of things from happy times. As if that weren’t enough, I had reasoned by having a passel of possessions I could single-handedly create happy memories.

My strategy was foiled by the time it took to not only keep track of, care for and organize the possessions, but create the happy memories in between. My memories- “instead of happy” were becoming prominently miserable. This problem of mine was hoarding or in kinder terms- excessive saving.

Hoarding had never even been a consideration in my litany of life dilemmas. Among the complaints on my exhaustive list were: never enough time to exercise, a lack of money to buy organizing essentials, a lack of time to organize and have a workable system, a husband who lacked a vision to see the potential behind all of my belongings and moreover a vision of what could be done with them to glorify God. Yes, I had wrapped religion into being a justifiable reason to keep whatever I deemed worthy.

I knew I kept a lot, but I also believed I was honoring God by having the items. When in all reality, I was trying to play God by keeping things and hoping I wouldn’t have to depend on Him for the things “I could handle.”

Since hoarding had never even entered into my conscientiousness, all I knew was I was miserable. Each consecutive day seemed harder then the day prior and circumstances seemed dimmer. Waking up in the morning was stifling and meandering through the day felt more like a convoluted maze. I began feverishly reading self help books on organizing and de-cluttering. Several years later and heaps mounting higher than ever before, I felt hopeless. As I swirled in the abyss of confusion, I called a professional organizer as a final effort.

Without mincing words she told me what my husband had all along, “Whoa you have a lot of stuff.” Okay, so she couldn’t stop exclaiming in between breaths how much I had. Her reaction to my basement sent me reeling. We made a plan to help me stop the influx of stuff and begin the outtake. Once we parted ways, I spent every spare moment doing my best to clean and cull. Bravely I’d pack another box full of things we weren’t using, ready to be hauled off. My efforts seemed to be paying off. Except I noticed instead of experiencing freedom, I was feeling suffocated and smothered by this new lifestyle.

Still determined, I continued to zealously makeover our home. That was until one day I had a stomach ache I couldn’t shake. When the pain was intolerable a visit to the emergency room was in order. A couple of days later in the hospital, I felt as though there was more than a bug that had paid me a visit. I was reminded of Psalm 23:2, “He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters.” While I didn’t have angels hovering over my hospital bed delivering a message, I encountered a stillness I hadn’t known for some time. Moreover, I had gotten to spend time praying and reading my Bible, disciplines I had abandoned until the house was placed in proper order.

Before I headed home I recommitted myself to be faithful in reading my Bible, journaling and giving God my day before it took off without me. The next morning I flipped open my Bible to the ribbon that held its place in the New Testament. That day’s reading was in Matthew 23. I was caught by the words in verse 26: “Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.”

“Wait,” I thought, “the Bible does have a thing or two to say about cleaning house.” After calling upon a wiser friend in Christ, I confirmed what I had suspected: I had been cleaning house in precisely the opposite order Jesus had intended. I had been so immersed in scouring, decorating, organizing, and saving ALL for the outside- I had given hardly any thought to the inside. At once I felt relief wash over me with a healthy dose of insufficiency to humbly level me; leveling me to the foot of the cross where my real help could be found.

Three years have passed since my hospital visit. Since then trailer loads of things have backed out of our driveway. As a family we are still vigilantly attempting to live with less. Now, instead of turning only to man’s wisdom to weave my way out of the colossal messes, I turn to God’s Word. Regardless of the battle, we fight with the same weapons. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” (2 Corinthians 10:4)

Johanna Tooke lives in Forsyth, Montana with her husband Ryan, and three children: Gracie (10); and twins Royce and Katie (7). In between family, friends and country living, Johanna leads Bible Studies for girls and women. Her hope is to encourage women of all ages in their walk of faith with Jesus Christ. For more on Johanna’s journey, go to www.johannatooke.com.

Editor’s Note: Hoarding can be a sign that an individual needs more help than a book or a friend can provide. If you know someone who hoards, please visit The Institute for Challenging Disorganization (www.challengingdisorganization.org) for resources.

If you need a little extra push to get organized, please consider purchasing one of these two resources by our own Proverbs 31 Ministries writers: “I Used to Be So Organized”
by Glynnis Whitwer and “The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized” by Karen Ehman.

The Sandwich Generation: Make the Most of the Meal

By Heather Gearhart

Every day, at the retirement community where I work, I see women speeding around in a frenzy. Cell phones are glued to their ears and organized chaos reigns. One is organizing a bake sale for her child’s school. Another is putting the final touches on a marketing proposal for her job. All are coming to visit a loved one who is ill or disabled. These frenzied individuals are part of the sandwich generation where multi-tasking is taken to a whole new level.

The term “sandwich generation” is the name given to those individuals who are caretakers for both the younger and the older generations. The notion of caring for our children comes naturally. However, the thought of caring for our parents or another elderly loved one may not have occurred to us. When you find yourself in this situation know that the Bible gives unmistakable directive. Psalms 71:9 says, “Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth.”

Given the responsibility of caring for two generations of loved ones isn’t an easy task. The “sandwich generation” comes in many different varieties. The elderly person can be cared for at home, in a facility, locally, or even hundreds of miles away. Most care givers are women, over 40, married, employed, raising children or helping with grandchildren, and stressed to the max.

Take a look at what’s on the menu. It’s a lot to swallow.

The bread. The kids are pulling from the top for gas money, tuition and new clothes. The adults are pulling from the bottom. They need supplies, caregivers, products, and equipment.

The cheese and the meat. The care giver is the sustenance. You are now caring for two generations of loved ones. The children need you to shape their lives. They need your guidance and boundaries. The elders need support. They need independence and dignity.

The condiments: ketchup, mustard and pickle. These are the spices of life. Of course there will be ups and downs. Just think about what you will have to look back on in the years to come. When the children are gone and raising kids of their own they will have so many memories to share.

The knife, fork, and napkin. Now, you have the whole meal set in front of you. It seems like a lot to chew on, right?

Here are a few tips to make the most of your sandwich:


* Have those uncomfortable conversations sooner than later. Ask about living wills, advanced directives, do not resuscitate (DNR) orders and funeral arrangements. Chances are your loved one has already made these plans or has ideas about them.

• If you need to draft any of the above documents, know that each state has different rules and some documents are not honored if your loved one moves or even travels across state lines. Be sure to consult with a professional.

• Find out if your elderly loved one is making the most of benefits they are entitled to. A good place to start is www.medicare.gov. Also, obtaining a durable power of attorney will allow you to be able to act on their behalf when and if the time comes.

• Check out support services. If you provide in-home care you need to plan for relief. Most assisted living facilities offer respite services for short-term stays. There are adult day care programs that will care for your loved one while you work. PACE (Program for All-inclusive Care for the Elderly) is a new hybrid that combines in-home care with an adult day program. More information on PACE can be found at www.PACE4you.org.

• If you live far from your loved ones, you could enlist the services of a care manager. They are available to coordinate services locally. You can find additional information on care managers at www.caremanager.org.

• Don’t forget about other informal support. Your friends, family and church are there to offer you physical, emotional and spiritual support. Be sure to ask for help. Many times your friends and family are willing. They just don’t know what you need. Tell them.

Do you want fries with that? Don’t forget to save room for rest of the meal. Life can not and should not be a singular event. Life must be enjoyed and appreciated. Be sure to fill your life with side dishes. Take time to take care of you. So, if you need to eat dessert first go ahead. Wash it down with a healthy does of reality. Don’t expect perfection.

Just remember to go slow. Savor it. Enjoy every last bit of it. The sandwich generation portion of your life won’t last forever. Just like that meal eaten too quickly, you will wonder where it went. Chew on each new situation a while. Don’t let problems overwhelm you. Reach out for some assistance. And most of all, remember you are neither a piece of meat caught in the middle, nor are you the sole substance for your family. You are the chef making the whole meal work well together.


Heather Gearhart has a master’s degree in long-term care administration and works for a non-profit retirement community in Blacksburg, Virginia. She enjoys spending time with her husband and daughter, extended family and family of friends.

My Last Day

By Kimberly Rae

Small buzzes, clicks, whirring sounds surrounded me. I lay flat on my back, in the flimsy hospital gown. Medical technicians were thinking about the MRI, about the fluid on my brain, about the eclamptic seizures that had brought me back to the hospital. I was thinking about death. Would today be my last day?

I thought of my husband, my little boy, and my new tiny baby daughter. I thought about all my big goals for my life, goals that had been crippled and marred by chronic health problems. Health problems had brought us home from the mission field and removed from me all the activities and ministries that gave me identity. These problems had, as I saw it, taken away my significance.

Over the past year I had struggled with discontent, a restless need to find some way to prove I was still worthwhile. Yet with each attempt, each new ministry or activity, eventually my health (or lack thereof) would hinder it, would require more help from my husband, would leave me exhausted, sick or both. I would end up neglecting my family as I used up my energy trying to keep up with the other things. After all, organizing a missions conference sounds a lot more important than changing diapers. Leading a Bible study feels more significant than reading bedtime stories.

But that day in the hospital, the possibility of it being my last brought a fear more claustrophobic than the MRI machine I was encased in. What if it really was my last day? What if I was dying? What would I want to do with my last day?

All those former seemingly significant priorities I had chased did not come to mind. All the activities that had given me a false sense of identity lost their appeal in the valley of the shadow of death. If it was to be my last day, I wanted to spend it loving my husband, loving my children, loving my God.

That was how I wanted to be remembered. Content. Unafraid. No longer striving, chasing after the wind. I wanted to be remembered as one who loved. And in that moment of light, as the machine whirred and clicked over my head, I had a blazing realization: If that is how I would want to spend my last day, why isn’t that how I am spending every day?

If my God and my family are most important, why am I living as if they aren’t? Why are they taking second place in my day, in my effort, even in my heart sometimes?

The months and years leading up to that day in the hospital, I had struggled with wondering what my life was worth if I could not chase after my dreams, if I could not attain the amazing, biography-worthy life I had always wanted.

However, that day I saw with beautiful certainty that I wanted to stay. I wanted to live, even if life for me meant fewer abilities and possibilities than it might for most others.

Lying in that MRI machine, I prayed, “God, if all I can do with my life is serve my husband and raise my children, I want to stay. Please let me stay.”

God answered that prayer with a yes. Later that afternoon, as a neurologist, an emergency-room doctor, and one other “ologist” stood over me, discussing which of two life-threatening treatments to try, they chose the right one. Eventually I was released from the hospital. Eventually I returned to my state of “normal.” Eventually I even had enough energy to go right back to struggling with my old addiction: the pull toward proving my own significance.

Like an addict, I still find myself longing to commit to activities, drawn toward proving that I am spiritual by outward show. Then another health crisis will knock me down, bringing back with startling force that promise I made that day as death faced me head-on. I made the promise, and I am accountable for that promise before God.

I know that God wants abundant life for each of us (John 10:10). I am learning, however, that His definition of abundant life for me is far different than what I had ever supposed. Abundant life is not an urgent, fast-paced life rushing from one significant thing to the next. Abundant life is having contentment in every season, with whatever role God has assigned for me within that season. It is a place of peace, green pastures and still waters.

Regardless of how small or large my role feels at any given time, God wants me to accept it with joy, to be a shining example of peace—of a gentle and quiet spirit—in a world where women feel they must prove their own worth by their talents, or beauty, or ability to make money.

That day in the hospital did not turn out to be my last day. However, one day will be. When that day comes, I want my restless, discontent spirit to have been replaced by a gentle and quiet one. I want me to have decreased, and Christ to have increased. I want those I love to really know they were loved. Most of all, I want God to be pleased, because I was finally willing to give up my own dreams for His.

Kimberly has rafted the Nile River, seen Mt. Everest, and eaten cow brains in Bangladesh, just to say she'd done it! She now lives in North Carolina with her husband and two young children. Her first novel, Stolen Woman, a Christian suspense story about a woman trying to rescue a trafficked girl, has been released this year on Amazon.com and stolenwoman.org. You can contact Kimberly on her Facebook page under Human Trafficking Stolen Woman.

Trusting in the Storm

Cheryl Fellores

Fears. We all have them. Fears come in different shapes and sizes, but they share something in common: their ability to paralyze us and take our focus off God. The little voice of fear we hear becomes louder than the gentle whisper of our loving Savior.

In August 2007, my biggest fear became a reality. My teenage son, Justin, moved back to Indiana to live with his father. The weeks leading up to his departure, I prayed my most heart-felt prayers for God to stop the madness. God’s response was “Do you trust Me?” My instant answer was “yes, but not enough to give up my son.” That began my journey of truly trusting Him. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

“Do you trust Me?” Those four simple words rocked me to my core because I understood what it meant. I’d have to face my biggest fear in life: losing Justin. God didn’t stop the nightmare. Instead, He held me close as I gave up my son.

None of this surprised God. He had been preparing me when He prompted me months prior to get serious about quiet time with Him. During that quiet time, He taught me how to listen for His voice and to dig deeper into His Word. That was paramount to helping me through my dark days.

Over the next few months, I battled hopelessness and depression as I prayed for God to bring my baby back. His answer was “No.” God reminded me that Justin had become more important in my life than my relationship with Him, violating the first commandment of “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). As I continued the learning process, God poured into me by surrounding me with women of faith. He also used Christian music to shift my focus from me to Him.

One morning, the light bulb came on while listening to Casting Crown’s “Praise You in This Storm.” Right then and there, I thanked God for my circumstances. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). God had a reason for this storm. He used it to help me completely rely on Him for peace. It was then that I accepted my situation. My heart was filled with gratitude right there in the middle of the biggest storm of my life. My thankfulness was no longer conditional upon Justin coming home. My faith had grown wings. I was soaring with God.

A few months after Justin’s move to Indiana, he came home for a visit. As he shared his desire to live with us again, I had to put my faith into action while fighting every urge in my body that wanted to take control to make it happen. No, this time, I was committed to doing it God’s way. Taking Justin to the airport was gut-wrenching, but I had to trust God, and this time I really did. As we waited, over and over I prayed “Your will, Your way in Your time – not mine.”

Then, it happened. On January 27, 2008, God rewarded my obedience and trust. Justin came home. This time, it was to stay.

In looking back, I realized something. There were a few prodigal experiences running simultaneously. Before this storm, Justin wanted very little to do with God. But now, he’s on fire for Jesus. I also ran back into Jesus’ arms, and that is where I will stay.

The memories of that experience are still painful, but it changed my heart as I learned to completely trust the Lord. God had a plan for this. He used it to transform Justin and our entire family, including me. This became part of our story. The story will be told as each of us reach out to the hurting to help them find hope in the Lord. “He comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). God has led me to write a book and to share our story with Christian women’s groups. For Justin, God is calling him to become a youth pastor.

Do we ever learn when the experiences are easy? I rarely do, but I wish I had! This lesson stuck and has become my reference for every time the storms brew. I’ve learned that even though the storm clouds are rolling in, the sun still shines behind them. Our Lord shines even when we can’t see Him in the raging storms of life. He’s still there – just like the sun shining behind the storm clouds. “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5b). But, it’s not enough to just know that in our heads-we need to know it deep in our hearts.

God has a plan for each of us. He needs us to step up and engage in that plan. It brings meaning to our lives and to the pain we have suffered. We are called to help others to find Jesus in their storms of life.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

God’s promises aren’t just for those who lived many, many years ago. They are for you and me. We have a choice. Will we trust Him? Will we strain to hear His voice in the midst of our storms?

Speaker and writer Cheryl Fellores is passionate about helping others find Jesus. She and her husband Joey raise four children, ages 18 to 5, just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. Cheryl actively volunteers with a number of organizations including the Cove Church and In His Steps dance ministry.

Organizing Your Clothes Closet

by Eileen Koff

Are you playing Russian roulette when you open your closets; afraid of what might come crashing down? Taking back your clothes closet is easier than you thought if you adapt simple strategies and techniques. Here are my top tips that will have you singing instead of moaning when you enter the dark and mysterious space that was once your closet.

Tips for Making the Most of Your Closet

• Start with a bright light. How can you see anything in the dark recesses of your closet unless you shed a little light on the subject? Have no room for a light fixture or hanging bulb. No problem! There are ingenious stick-um up lights sold online or at your local hardware store, and while you’re there, check out the new true–color light bulbs now on the market.

• Create more hanging space. If you’re clothes are crammed together like a can of sardines, the best approach is to get more hanging space. No, you don’t have to bump your son out of his room and make that your closet; all you need is a double hanging rod. Hanging rods that hook over existing rails are a smart, inexpensive, and an instant way to create extra room for short hanging clothes.

• Consider an over-the-door organizer. If you have a small closet, take advantage of the space on the back of the door. There are a lot of “over-the-door” organizers that can help you maximize storage space.

• Use a valet rod. When designing my own closet, adding a valet rod was the best decision I made. A clothing valet is a sturdy telescoping rod that can be installed into existing melamine or closet partitions. The valet slides out to create an instant nine inches of hanging space and can hold up to 30 pounds. I love putting my clothes choices together for the next day. This helps me to not only save time in the morning, but it allows me to see the many choices I have. Basically, it releases my inner fashionista.

• Replace wire hangers. Count the number of wire hangers in your closet. If you have more than 10, then you win the frugal award. You may say, “They’re free, so why do I have to pay for expensive hangers?” There's a good reason wire hangers are free: they're basically worthless. If you want to prolong the life of your clothes, keep them on wood, padded or felt covered hangers. Your clothes will thank you by maintaining their shape.

• Add hooks to your closet. Hooks for your scarves and belts are another organizing wonder for the closet. Until I installed my belt hook, my belts and scarves invariably got tangled or lost on the floor. Remember these also work great for ties. The 3M Company has a great product called Command Hooks. No longer do you have to worry about holes and scratches your walls. These hooks come in all sizes, finishes and when you no longer need the hook, they easily remove without leaving a scratch!



What to Do With All Those Clothes

• Sort your clothes into piles. Start with broad categories at first so you can see the amount of clothes you have for any one category. Some categories may be: work, casual, dressy and sporty.

• Identify what to keep. Try on everything and keep only the clothes that fit you now and make you feel good! If it doesn’t fit or you don’t feel excellent in it, get rid of it!

• Watch out for the “obstacle illusion.” Don’t let the mere fact that you paid a lot guilt you into keeping something. Your closet is prime real estate.

• Donate clothes you don’t wear. The next time you're putting away laundry or dry cleaning, grab an armful of clothes that you haven't worn since you can't remember when and try them on in front of a full-length mirror. Putting on just a limited amount of clothes keeps your wardrobe current and in style. Put the ones that you love back into circulation; donate the rest.

• Hang your clothes by type and then by color. For example, hang all of your short sleeve shirts or blouses together starting with white and moving through the colors of the rainbow to black. If the fabric is patterned then choose the dominant color. Do the same for your jackets, pants, skirts and dresses. It makes it so much easier to put an outfit together when you are able to quickly mix and match colors.

• Care for your sweaters. If you have sweaters that sit folded on shelves, make sure you cover wire shelves with a liner. It can be very frustrating to put on your favorite sweater and them look in the mirror and see wire shelf creases throughout.


• Keep a hamper nearby for clothes that need laundering or dry cleaning.


Eileen Koff is the founder and president of To The Next Level, a professional organizing business based on Long Island, NY. Eileen presently serves NAPO (National Association for Professional Organizers) as Publication Chair and is also Faithful Organizer’s Devotion Director. Eileen’s passion is speaking to Christian groups. Her unique teaching methods combine proven organization fundamentals with the inspiration and advice from God’s Word. Eileen’s organizing workshops stir audiences to immediate action, motivating attendees to put an end to years of frustration and clutter build-up.

For further information contact her at www.tothenextlevel.net or www.christianorganizer.net

Overcoming Perfectionism

by Rachel Olsen

Do you feel most of what you do is never quite good enough?
Do you avoid starting tasks for worry you’ll fail?
Do you think “average” is an ugly word?

If so, rather than working toward success, you are probably trying to be flawless from start to finish. It’s likely you are plagued by perfectionism.

I know; I’ve been there.

Perfectionism refers to a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching excessively high or unrealistic goals. Mistakenly believed necessary for success, perfectionism is often detrimental. It can rob us of a sense of personal satisfaction or achievement, damage our relationships, and prevent us from reaching our potential.

In fact, research shows women who demand perfection from themselves often achieve less than women with more realistic strivings. Surprised?

Causes of Perfectionism

A number of negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs can drive our perfectionistic tendencies:

• Fear of failure. Perfectionists often equate failure to achieve with a lack of personal worth or value. (God tells us we have value because we are made by Him, in His image, for His plans and pleasure.)

• Fear of making mistakes. Perfectionists often equate mistakes with failure – and therefore, with a lack of personal worth. In orienting their lives around avoiding mistakes, perfectionists miss opportunities to learn and grow.

• Fear of disapproval. Perfectionists often believe if they let others see their flaws, they will no longer be accepted. Trying to be perfect is a way of trying to avoid criticism, disapproval, and rejection. (Christ was criticized, disapproved of, and rejected – and He was truly perfect.)

• All-or-none thinking. Perfectionists frequently believe they are failures if their accomplishments are not perfect from start to finish. Every part must be flawless. They deny the learning curve and discount the process of “failing forward.”

• Belief that others are easily successful. Perfectionists tend to perceive others as achieving success with a minimum of effort, few or no errors, little emotional stress, and maximum self-confidence. This of course is inaccurate. At the same time, perfectionists view their own efforts and confidence as uncommonly inadequate.

A Harmful Cycle

Perfectionistic attitudes start a frustrating cycle in motion. First, perfectionists set unreachable goals based on unrealistic expectations. Second, they fail to meet their often well-out-of-reach goals. Third, they become anxious and self-critical over their failure. Finally, rather than realizing the true problem, they demand a perfect performance next time or avoid the pursuit entirely.

Also, without realizing it, perfectionists can apply their unrealistically high standards to others, becoming critical and demanding. Their frequent lack of grace damages their relationships. Furthermore, perfectionists may avoid letting people see their mistakes, not realizing that self-disclosure allows others to perceive them as more human and thus more likeable. Because of this, perfectionists often have difficulty being close to people and they create unsatisfying relationships – which only confirms in their mind their lack of value or their need to strive harder.

What to do About Perfectionism

The first step in moving from a performance-based attitude of perfectionism to a grace-based attitude of healthy striving and dependence on Christ is to realize that perfection, instantly or in everything, is simply unattainable. And the pursuit of it is counterproductive.

The next step is to challenge the self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that fuel your perfectionism. Some of the following strategies - many outlined by the counseling center at the University of Illinois - may help:

• Set realistic, reachable goals based on what you have accomplished in the past. This will enable you to rein in unrealistic expectations and experience the satisfaction of achievement.

• Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. As you reach a goal, set your next goal one step beyond your present level of accomplishment.

• Relax your standards for success. Choose any activity and instead of aiming for 100 percent, try for 90 percent, 80 percent, or even 70 percent success. This will help you to realize that the world does not end when you are less than perfect.

• Learn to discriminate the tasks you want to give high priority to from those tasks that are less important to you. On less important tasks, choose to put forth less effort in favor of increased rest and emotional stability.

• Focus on the process of doing an activity, not just on the end result. Evaluate your success not only in terms of what you accomplished but also in terms of how you accomplished it. Did you remain calm? Did you learn something new along the way? Did you enjoy the process?

• Use feelings of anxiety and depression as opportunities to ask yourself, “Have I set impossible expectations for myself in this situation?”

• Confront the fears that may be behind your perfectionism by asking yourself, “What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen?”

• Recall a recent mistake you made and list all the things you can learn from it. Mistakes are powerful learning tools.

• Pray daily, giving your stresses and to-do list to Christ to oversee. Remember that His priority is your character and relationships over your accomplishments.

As perfectionists, we’ve come to believe our value – in God’s or other people’s eyes – is irrevocably linked to our performance. In a quest to be accepted and loved, we set out to be flawless. This is both unnecessary and unproductive.

So pull out a sheet of paper and write out in your own words the reasons why your perfection is unnecessary and unproductive. Don’t worry if it is well-worded or commas are in the right place. And in the process, you’ll begin to overcome the plague of perfectionism.

Rachel Olsen is a woman who seeks to savor life with Christ and help others find that sweet spot as well. A writer, speaker and editor with Proverbs 31 Ministries, Rachel communicates biblical truths modern women need to know. To learn more, read her recent release “It’s No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know.”

Christ-Like in the Bleachers

By Sara Jo Poff

The roar of the parents’ voices filled the gym. Admittedly, the game was getting tense, but the situation was worsening. It was the last quarter and the teams were tied for the championship. Parents were beginning to scream over the sound of the coach and the kids on the basketball court were becoming confused. When I loudly but politely asked the parents to calm down, the roar quickly shifted to whispers. One mom, however, turned to me excitedly and said, “Sorry; it’s just that we’ve never won a championship!” The coaches looked grateful for the silence and the elementary players no longer tripped over their own feet in perplexity.

Currently, 41 million children in the U.S. participate in team sports. Sadly, 70 percent of them will drop out before turning 13. Sadder even still is the reason they drop out: parental pressure. According to a Michigan State Youth Institute survey, the majority of these 28.7 million children cited “adults, particularly parents” as their reason for dropping out and the main reason for the game becoming a “joyless, negative experience.” According to these numbers, seven out of ten children on your child’s team are feeling an overload of pressure to play. Consider the following plays to make sure your child isn’t one of them:

Examine Your Intentions

Whether it’s for the chance of becoming pro or the opportunity to learn good sports skills and conduct, parents are doing everything they can to put their children in extracurricular activities, and for good reason. Team sports are respectable opportunities for children to learn things like competition, new skills, good sportsmanship, and parental encouragement. Many of these children, at least at first, are having FUN! It’s only when the interest of winning supersedes these goals that the pressure starts emerging. In some cases, parents live vicariously through their child and develop an over-identified zeal for the game.

In response to the growing number of incidences of abusive behavior from parents towards coaches, athletes, and officials, many organizations offer training programs for parents on good sportsmanship. One of these organizations, the American Youth Soccer Organization, requires parents of players younger than 8 years old to participate in sportsmanship and behavioral conduct classes. Others, like the Michigan High School Athletic Association, have put together a video for parents on appropriate behavior at sporting events that can be viewed at www.mhsaa.com/services.

Rewind and Replay

It is important to take a good look at which kind of sideline parent we are, especially as Christians. Whether our children are in sports or not, it is crucial for them to feel unconditionally loved, emotionally supported, and encouraged to pursue their interests.

In order to provide the encouragement and support children need, parents must first get back to the main reasons for putting them in sports. Foremost, focus on skill building, good sportsmanship, and physical movement.

Secondly, trust your child’s coach to do the coaching. This doesn’t, of course, mean you should have a naïve sense of faith in the coach, because they’re parents just like us. But, if you haven’t observed any verbal, emotional, or especially physical abuse from them and see the coach teaching good skills to the children, let them give the directions at games. All too often, children have voices hollering at them from so many directions that they are unable to hear their coach or know who to listen to. Be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19 NIV)

At the same time, make sure your child can hear encouragement from you during the game. “Good pass,” “nice shot,” or “you’ll get it next time” are good things for them to hear and aren’t distracting. Try to avoid comments like “nice try” or “almost.” [Parents], do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.” (Colossians 3:23 NASB)

Just as parents make mistakes, so, too, do officials. Instead of making sure these mistakes are corrected, think of it this way: it all evens out by the end of the season! If a foul wasn’t called and you know that your child was fouled (or even another child for that matter), don’t holler at the referee. Later on, a foul might be called for a clearly invalid foul. Use it as an opportunity to exemplify God’s commands to respect the authorities He has placed over you.

After holding back all “suggestions” during the game, don’t spend the car ride home telling your child how they could have done something differently. That behavior once again instills a winning-is-the-most-important-thing mentality. Tell them what they did well, and make sure they know that they have your support and encouragement no matter how they played.

Reach the Goal

If your child suddenly announces a decision to no longer play a particular sport, especially one they have greatly enjoyed in the past, gently inquire their reasons. Be supportive of those reasons and encourage them in other areas. Letting a child retire from a particular sport will not, as some parents think, turn them into “dropouts” or “quitters.” As long as that free time isn’t replaced with video games or television, your child can benefit immensely from making their own choices about things such as this.

If your child has other things they are not allowed to falter on, such as God’s commands, academics, and parental rules, they will know the importance of devotion and perseverance for the things that matter most in life.

The qualities that teach children good sportsmanship start at home, not on the field. Make sure your family strongly promotes good sports conduct in everything at home, from board games to yard games.

Use these ideas to help your children enjoy participation in sports. Get excited about opportunities to play. Treat them to ice cream after games no matter how well they played. and encourage good effort and self-reliance in their participation. Most importantly, make sure sports maintain their position as a hobby so they don’t turn into idols.


Sara Jo Poff, her husband Pete, and their five kids, enjoy playing basketball together from their home in Claremore, Oklahoma. As a freelance writer, Sara Jo specializes on topics related to natural family health, home education, and living for Christ. You can visit her at
www.healthyfamiliesforGod.com.

Clothed with Strength and Dignity: What I Wore on Black Friday

Unfortunately, many of us have received the dreaded “pink slip” in recent months. Theresa shares her experience and offers hope for others in a similar situation.



Clothed with Strength and Dignity: What I Wore on Black Friday
By Theresa Ceniccola


I wasn’t one hundred percent certain, but the empty pit in my stomach told me this was it. My time had come. Call it intuition, but when my boss set an unannounced private meeting on my calendar for a Friday afternoon during a recession, anxiety became my friend. I barely slept that night, bargaining with the Lord as I tossed in turned in my bed. When the sun finally peeked through the curtains I was filled with a sense of urgency and panic.

What does one wear to work on the day she gets laid off? The thought itself seemed superfluous and irrelevant, but at the same time oddly appropriate as I perused the options in my closet. Should I pay tribute to “Black Friday” by dressing head to toe in the obvious color?

Maybe I should wear something slightly outdated or mildly tattered in hopes that my boss will take pity on me and change his mind at the last minute. On the other hand, I could present a brave front wearing my power suit as an outward symbol of the inner strength I was searching so desperately to find. Perhaps I should let my whimsical side prevail by sporting a pink slip under my skirt. (No, I don’t actually own one, but a pink slip would have been a welcome reminder to retain my sense of humor.)

In the end, I opted for business casual – after all, it was Friday. I wore a simple olive sweater and tan dress pants that probably should have been pressed. I added a funky beaded necklace I purchased at the gift shop where I worked – using my employee discount, which I would sorely miss.

As I rushed through my usual routine in the mirror, I instinctively reached for the waterproof mascara, normally reserved for days at the beach or a girls’ night out at the movies. I knew I would need the reliable smudge-proof formula. I recited a litany of my favorite prayers as I drove to the office, too preoccupied to be mindful of their meaning, yet finding comfort in the familiar sound of the words in my head.

My qualms were confirmed when my boss closed the door behind me as I entered his office. I knew instantly that he was uncomfortable. His words were rehearsed yet awkward. “You are aware of the current economic situation,” he began. I mentally pleaded with him to get to the point. I remember hearing the words “economy” and “termination” and “sorry.”

“Breathe,” I instructed myself. Despite my best efforts, I felt the tears surface against my will. I wanted to ask questions – to clarify the details – to negotiate. But the words simply could not emerge in any intelligible manner. I managed to utter a feeble request, “Isn’t there any other option?”

He struggled to conceal his sympathy. “We have no more work for you,” he responded. Ouch. My thoughtfully assembled attire was meaningless now. It provided no protection from the pain and hurt. No escape from reality. Holding back my tears, I managed to express my gratitude for the opportunity to work with a wonderful organization and for the friendships I had formed. There was nothing left to say.

The floodgates released as I left the office and I had to stop twice on the way home because I couldn’t see well enough to drive. I called my husband and invited him into my state of shock and despair. We spent the next 24 hours crying and praying. Despite my devastation, I was keenly aware of the gift in my situation. Here I was, holding hands with my husband and praising our Lord aloud. Other than blessings before meals, and the bedtime routine with the kids, prayer is a private activity in our house. I could not help but reminded of the words of Matthew 18:20 – “Where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

The remainder of the weekend, we alternated turns keeping the kids occupied so they wouldn’t notice our world was coming to an end. Whoever decided it was best to terminate workers on a Friday clearly did not have young children at home. I would have preferred to mourn in private after I put them on the school bus under the illusion that everything was just perfect. Instead I grieved in stolen moments in between basketball games, birthday parties and Sunday school. Sleep eluded me, yet I was drawn to my bed as if there were some healing powers in my covers. I emerged on occasion, wearing my weekend uniform of flannel pants and a comfy sweatshirt.

On Monday morning, I found myself alone in the closet, once again searching for the perfect outfit for the occasion. Then the Lord whispered in my ear a familiar phrase from a favorite scripture, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31: 25

So I dusted off some of my classic favorites and tried them on for size: grace and honor, hope and faith, kindness, wisdom, ambition and honesty. I was surprised how well they fit. And I have a feeling they will always be in style. As timeless as the Word of God.

Months later, I understand and accept God’s plan for the once unwelcome change in my career. Despite the emotional turmoil, the endless soul searching has yielded an opportunity for growth and transformation. My new professional direction allows me to spend more time with my children and to truly be present in their lives. While I pray that others are not faced with the same unexpected challenge, I also offer my personal tips for surviving job loss with strength and dignity.

How to Dress Divinely in Times of Despair

• Remember that God has a plan for you – even when you don’t have one for yourself. Most of us control freaks know this is true, but it’s very difficult to internalize. I relied on my journal to pray and write to God asking Him for patience and courage to follow His plan.

• Find one positive thing in your situation and enjoy it. Perhaps you can spend more time with family, sleep in late or work in your garden. For me, it is a blessing to be able to be home when my children get off the school bus every afternoon.

• Be honest with yourself and others. People respect a straightforward approach and in today’s economy, there is no shame in losing a job. The disgrace comes from how you convey your story to others. I found it refreshingly healing to admit that life is difficult but through hard work and faith in God, something wonderful will develop.

• Seek comfort and support from others and be willing to accept their assistance. At first, it was difficult for me to ask for help – to acknowledge that I needed someone to watch my kids so I could go on a job interview or that my children could use some hand-me-down clothes. It was even more humbling to decline social invitations because they were no longer in the budget. But, I found that friends truly did want to help me and these were simple ways they could show their kindness.

• Remain open to God’s call. When I told friends about my situation, many of them gave the standard reply, “When God closes one door, He opens another.” This response, although comforting, became cliché after awhile. But the message at heart is significant – God was calling me to create a change in my life – one that I never would have made on my own. I had to remain open to this call and believe in the world of opportunity that He opened for me.


Theresa Ceniccola is a writer and corporate communications professional living in Virginia Beach, VA. With more than 20 years of experience in healthcare, Theresa has covered topics from cardiac surgery to patient safety and family-centered care. She recently answered God’s call to write personal stories to inspire others. Theresa’s passion for writing allows her to spend time with her husband and their three children. Theresa is co-founder of Write to Health, a guided journaling practice dedicated to encouraging people to discover the health benefits of writing. Her own journal writing enriches her personal relationship with Christ and provides a sacred place for ongoing spiritual reflection. Theresa is active in community organizations including her home church, Susan G. Komen and Girl Scouts.

Don’t Fight the Mask

by Melissa Nesdahl


“No! No! No, mommy, no!” With hot tears streaming down her red, swollen face, my tiny two year old, Hannah, thrashed her body from side to side in desperate attempt to break my hold. As she sat on my lap inside of the loving but firm embrace of one hand, I struggled to use the other to place the mask that would deliver life-giving albuterol to her sick, RSV stricken body. Desperately wanting the best for Hannah, I encouraged her to quit resisting the doctor’s order because it would restore health to her weak body.

I love being a mother. When God blessed my husband and I with our firstborn, Grace, I welcomed the opportunity to stay home with her, investing all my time and energy into raising this beautiful girl God entrusted to us. Shortly after her first birthday, God surprised us with another pregnancy. Hannah came just two days after Grace turned two.

To care for myself, I rose about two hours before the girls, allowing time to exercise, get myself ready, and enjoy some Bible study. I felt spiritually full and ready for my day when the girls awoke. Life changed, however, when the girls grew into toddlers. Suddenly I heard “mooommy!” just as I would get out of bed. Energetic and anxious for the day’s activities, Grace and Hannah ran out of their room to greet me with their morning hugs and kisses. And my morning routine was gone.

Feeling as though I had no “me time,” I found myself struggling. I so desperately craved the exercise and Bible study squeezed out by the needs of the day, but there didn’t seem to be time. I woke up tired, cared for my girls, spent quality time with my amazing husband, volunteered in the community, was present for my family and friends, and then crashed hard at night. From sun up to sun down my day was jam-packed with activity, and I was running on empty.

Snappy and out of shape, I broke. Something had to change. I couldn’t keep operating this way and still be the person that God created me to be.

In my youth, I learned 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, which reads, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you are bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (NIV). Although I’d always considered it in relation to modesty, premarital sex, alcohol, and drugs, I unexpectedly found the verse creeping through my mind time and time again.

God was convicting me. When I envision temples, or a place of worship, I picture a pristine structure commanding reverence. But I was doing anything but respecting my body. Life’s busyness had sucked the discipline of exercise completely out of my life.

During Bible study, I requested prayer for wisdom. My husband and I considered purchasing an elliptical machine, but space and the safety of our children were concerns. The other possibility was joining a gym. Not surprisingly, I found challenges with that as well. My girls were never cared for by anyone other than family. Would they do okay with a stranger in a playroom? And, would I honestly have the ambition to leave the comforts of exercising in my own home to get myself and the kids loaded into the car each day, drive to a facility, unload the kids, get sweaty, reload the kids, drive home, unload the kids yet again, and get myself ready?

No! No! No, God, No! And in that moment, I became to God what Hannah was to me. She wanted physical health without the albuterol mask and I wanted physical, emotional, and spiritual health without needing to alter my routine. She flailed around pleading for me not to give her the treatment and I placed an agitated heart before God begging to be released from my situation. I said, “Please Hannah, just do this, I know it will make you well,” and my all-knowing God voiced the same to me.

Eventually Hannah gave up the fight. Trusting my words, she allowed me to place the mask against her face and very quickly her shallow, constricted breathing slowed into relaxed, fulfilling breaths. Likewise, I submitted to God’s voice. Confident that He was calling me to a gym, I pressed forward and purchased a membership.

God surprised me. Although the first few separations were rough, the girls adapted quickly and now they actually desire going to the playroom each day. Meanwhile, I get to bike while reading my Bible study, walk the treadmill as I listen to scripture, and run on the elliptical while enjoying Christian music – not to mention sharing meaningful fellowship with others.

What spiritual discipline has been put on the back burner in your life? What changes do you need to make to better honor your God-given temple? I beg that you don’t fight the mask. Please listen to His voice, because when the Great Physician writes a prescription it will always breathe life into your longing body.

Melissa Nesdahl is a wife, mother, volunteer, and independent Christian writer striving to foster faith development in the life of her readers. Previous publications include the Chicago Tribune, Pam Stenzel’s “Love Lessons: Purity is Possible” CD series’ leaders guide, and “Surviving China” in Kyria. Catch Melissa twittering at http://twitter.com/MelissaNesdahl.

Greater Love: An Easter Miracle on Main Street

By MaryBeth Seal


“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13


“Mary, can you help us move this weekend?” asked my friend Yola.
With some trepidation I replied, “Of course we can help you move.” Yola was my new friend from work.
I hesitated because it was going to be on Easter weekend and I had a lot of grocery shopping, baking, and meal preparation to do for my family. I was sure it would be a huge inconvenience. “Somehow I’ll manage to do it all,” I told myself. Doing it all myself was a lifelong trap, and I still fall into it more than I like to admit.
This particular holiday, I planned to make an atypical Easter dinner-not the traditional ham, potato salad, and yams we were used to. I discovered a recipe for a unique way to serve sliced ham and turkey, layered with Swiss cheese and spinach. These ingredients would then be baked in the middle of rolled pastry dough. These sliced pinwheels made for a great presentation on a decorative serving platter. I couldn’t wait to get in the kitchen and begin my food art work!
There was one traditional food that I was not going to forgo, and that was the lamb cake. My mother always made lamb cakes as I was growing up, and now I always make one for my own family. It is basically pound cake batter baked in a lamb form pan. After it’s cooled, it would be iced with vanilla frosting and finally smothered with snow white flaked coconut. I would use black jelly beans for the nose and eyes. Carefully placing a red ribbon around its neck, the lamb would be positioned on a bed of Easter grass and become the center piece for our table.
As a child, I thought lamb cakes were cute. As an adult, I understand that Jesus is the Lamb of God; that he was slain for the forgiveness of sin for all mankind, and for me personally. He was the incarnate sacrificial Passover Lamb. The beautiful lamb cake that would be our centerpiece would be broken, slashed and served after our meal.
Soon, the holiday weekend roared in and I charged out the door to go help my friends move. After all, we had the truck, and my husband and our teen son had the muscles. I did my share of carrying boxes down the flight of stairs to the truck and up three flights of stairs to their new apartment.
Later that afternoon upon returning home, my “charge” had expired. I felt like I was wearing a bell diver’s suit. I trudged into my kitchen to begin the preparation for my Easter dinner. My food art work was looking more like hard work. Before starting my list, I had to unload two bags of food that Yola had sent home with me from her place. They were going out of the country for a month, and didn’t want it to be wasted.
As I packed her things into my refrigerator, it was as though I was putting a puzzle together. Yola had no way of knowing of my dinner plans, so this dinner puzzle was quite surprising. I took out a package of sliced ham, then one of sliced turkey, and in the mix, a package of Swiss cheese! To my absolute astonishment, I pulled out a box of freezer pastry dough, just exactly what I needed to make the dinner from the magazine recipe.
Just then there was a knock on our door. My future daughter-in-law stood in the doorway holding a dish on which sat a beautiful lamb cake!
I knew God was blessing us for helping our friends that day. He laid down his life for his friends; and asks us to do the same for others. When we sat down to dinner on that extraordinary Easter Sunday, we enjoyed an amazing “grace,” the grace of a miracle. Our hearts were filled with gratitude.

MaryBeth Seal is a nurse and a She Speaks graduate. Speaking to women’s groups and Bible studies has been part of her ministry as well. “A Life to Overcome” is one her favorite presentations. MaryBeth recently had her first book published “Valley Girl….the Valley of Trouble Leads to a Door of Hope,” and it is available at Amazon.com. MaryBeth can be contacted at mbseal2000@yahoo.com.

The Right Start

Get Your Family Off to a Great Start Each Day with These Healthy Breakfast Tips
by Krista Burdine

A noted Chinese proverb says, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Moms could adapt these words to say, "Give a child good food, and she will eat good food at home. Teach her how to make wise choices with her food, and she will eat good food wherever she goes for the rest of her life."

One of the first choices we make in any day is of what to eat. Breakfast is not the largest meal of the day, but nutritionists are always telling us that it is an important one.

Why Eat Breakfast?
Consider these benefits of breakfast eating, as reported by the Mayo Clinic. Those who take the time for a good breakfast (i.e. not coffee and a doughnut!) have a tendency to eat more nutritious food in general; to accomplish more before lunchtime; to keep their weight under control; and to have lower cholesterol, reducing certain health risks.

Kids especially can benefit from breakfast with improved coordination, concentration, and ability to think clearly. Moms want the best for their kids, and one very simple way to give them the best is to make the effort to feed them a good breakfast each day.

How Can I Make a Healthy Breakfast Part of the Morning Routine?
With today's busy lifestyles, getting a good start can be quite a challenge. Planning ahead always helps. It starts with laying out clothes and other necessary items the night before. Then, if the right food is in the pantry, and the choice for the morning already pulled to the front of the fridge, breakfast time can proceed a lot more smoothly.

What Makes a Good Breakfast?
There are several components to any healthy meal, including protein, whole grain, dairy, and fruits and vegetables. According to UCLA Health, the magic is in the combination of elements. When we consume a breakfast with at least three of the above components, we set our bodies up to be able to regulate our blood sugar throughout the rest of the day. We also give our digestive system enough to keep it busy for longer than a bowl of sugar cereal does.

Some suggested traditional breakfast combinations include high-fiber cereal, skim milk, and a banana; whole-grain toast with peanut butter and a glass of 100% juice; a hard-boiled egg, an apple, and an English muffin; or a smoothie made with plain yogurt, fruit, and a couple tablespoons of wheat germ. Less traditional, but still appropriate, options could include leftover veggie pizza on whole-grain crust; cut-up veggies layered in a tortilla with salsa and string cheese; or even a baked potato topped with broccoli and cheese.

How Do I Train the Kids?
Moms can help their kids learn to make good breakfast choices in two ways.

First, offer nutritious options by only bringing "good choice" food home from the store. Just a few alterations can make breakfast a whole lot healthier. Change one item a month for a few months, and they will have gradually re-educated their taste buds.

For example, choose cereals with higher fiber, such as Raisin Bran, Shredded Wheat, and Multi-Grain Cheerios. Switch from flavored to plain yogurt, and stock up on frozen fruit to stir in. Begin to serve less juice, but make sure it is 100% juice with no sugar added, then dilute it about 20% with water. Develop the habit of only buying whole-grain bread. One final trick is to invest in some wheat germ and/or ground flaxseed, and stir it into all kinds of things from muffin mix to yogurt to oatmeal.

Second, moms can influence their kids by setting a good example. When moms eat right, the kids learn to distinguish good from poor choices. This can be a challenge for those of us still loving the fact that we are on our own and have the freedom to choose! But it is so important, given our role in setting our kids up for long-term success.

More than Good Food
Choosing a smart start in the morning includes one other key element. All of the child-rearing good we do is useless if we fail to teach our kids the importance of looking to God at the beginning of each day. Psalm 5:3 says, "In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation" (NIV). Again, we start by setting the example of doing so ourselves: Take a moment to invite God to be part of your morning before even getting out of bed; allow ten minutes to read God's Word before getting the kids up.

Then, help them do the same. As you greet the kids, sit down together for a moment to ask God to be part of their day. Some parents even wake their kids early enough that the kids can do their own quiet time before getting ready for school. It is so simple, yet all it takes is just a little planning ahead, and the rewards will continue for years.

Sometimes change is difficult, but a mom's job is to stand strong. The kids may complain for awhile, but soon they will have forgotten the old ways. Remember, the changes are not just to give them good fuel for the day, but to help them learn to make good choices for the rest of their lives!

The Summer of My Blueberry Cobbler

by Melanie J. Dorsey

Upon retrospect, 2004 was quite a delicious summer. My parents had returned from a visit to the “blueberry capital of the South”—Alma, Georgia, and I was the grateful recipient of two flats of blueberries. These tiny treasures were destined for a blueberry cobbler. Rather, cobblers. I waxed nostalgic with visions of the cobblers my mamaw used to make—the syrupy sweetness of the berries, the tender flakiness of her crust. With peach cobblers and apple crisps already under my belt, that is apron strings, I searched through the modern woman’s cookbook for a recipe that resembled Mamaw’s berry cobbler. Actually, I googled “blueberry cobbler.”
The delicious summer of 2004 also proved to be quite fattening! I gained at least eight pounds from baking all those blueberry cobblers. Okay, I gained eight pounds from eating all those blueberry cobblers and the two scoops of premium French vanilla ice cream that crowned each serving. Everyone knows that a hot cobbler melts one scoop of ice cream, which necessitates the second scoop. Everyone knows that—right?
Fast forward three and a half years to our family’s annual ski trip in December 2007. I wore the same pair of ski pants from previous years but this time I was not wearing them. They were wearing me, and the view from behind was not a pretty sight. Fortunately, my ski jacket helped conceal my hinder parts. Believe me, if pants could talk, mine would have muttered some downright rude comments. I was definitely 15 pounds overweight. “Definitely,” to quote Rain Man. Apparently, the “blueberry cobbler eight” had gotten lonely and needed seven more friends!
Riding on the lifts and schussing down the slopes, I vowed to lose weight before I had to waddle in those pants again. Once home I considered the diets I had tried before but with little success because I could not stick with the Spartan-like eating plan. I prayed asking God for guidance. Upon sharing my thoughts with my husband, he suggested I individualize my own plan and added he was confident I could succeed. Smart man!
My plan needed wiggle room for what I was not willing to concede in exchange for what was relatively painless to give up. One tablespoon of real cream in my morning cup of coffee I deemed a keeper—a satisfying trade-off for eliminating fat elsewhere. I am a tortilla chips and salsa kind of chica so I kept my favorite, fresh salsa from the deli, and traded regular chips for a daily, single portion of baked chips.
Most mornings I am out of the house by 7:15, so a fast yet figure friendly breakfast is a must. I opted for a nutritious fruit smoothie for those early up and at ‘em mornings. My favorite smoothie, at barely 200 calories, has four ingredients: blueberries, ground flax seed, plain low-fat yogurt, and soymilk. I conceded the cobbler but kept the berries.
Blueberries, long touted as a super food, are high in antioxidants. High in potassium and vitamin C, blueberries are also anti-inflammatory. Inflammation is the current buzzword in the fight against all chronic diseases, so blueberries host a bevy of benefits. Another ingredient in my morning smoothie—ground flax seed, is chock full of Omega 3s, credited with lowering the risk of heart disease as well as combating arthritis and memory loss. Whole flax seed can be stored in the pantry. Once ground however, the flax seed may be stored safely in an airtight container in the refrigerator for about a week. I use a small coffee grinder to yield a week’s worth of ground flax seed in my blueberry smoothie.
The best yogurt, a good source of calcium and protein, is one that contains only live active cultures and milk. Generally, the shorter the list of ingredients in a food, the better it is for you. Other benefits of yogurt are its friendly bacteria (good for the colon and intestines), its immune-boosting properties, and its easy digestibility.
Although there is some controversy surrounding the use of soy products, after researching the differing opinions, I enjoy soy in moderation. According to Dr. William Sears, well-known pediatrician and author, soy reduces cholesterol, contains intestine-friendly carbs and drum roll, please, is an anti-aging food.
In addition to trading blueberry cobblers for blueberry smoothies, I also limited the high glycemic carbohydrates, choosing old-fashioned oatmeal and whole grains over less nutritious alternatives. In choosing carbs, portion control and making better choices is key. Besides, the last time I drastically cut carbs, I became testy and a tad anti-social. When that happens, friends and family turn in to pizza-pushers, wanting the “old lovable you” back.
Surprisingly I found keeping a food journal to be very helpful. Mine is nothing fancy, just a notebook from the kids’ school supply stash. Subduing my tendency toward perfectionism, calling for a stylish journal and a crash course in calligraphy, this go around I actually made entries well past day three!
Ultimately, my path to better health and weight loss was about better nutritional choices. As my clothes felt looser, success bred success and I stayed the course. Finally, I was able to shop my own closet, retrieving still fashionable favorites that had not seen daylight prior to the summer of my blueberry cobblers.
Recently I taught a Bible study encouraging individuals to be good stewards of their God-given gifts. Being a good steward includes looking well to the areas of health and nutrition for optimum living. I am delighted to say that God answered my prayer to find the path of successful stewardship in the area of health and weight loss. He
led me to my passion for research and my husband’s good advice. As a result, I lost the weight and kept the blueberries. I plan to keep the husband, too!


Melanie Dorsey lives in Clearwater, FL, with her husband and three children. A gifted Bible teacher, Melanie is passionate about studying and teaching God’s Word exegetically. She holds a B.A. in Communications and Modern Foreign Languages and is a certified teacher. Melanie is a contributing writer to Daily Devotions for Writers and is a graduate of She Speaks 2008. You can read more about Melanie at her blog: www.bellamella-melanie.blogspot.com.

Living with the Shades Drawn

By Tara Hackney

I live on the banks of a beautiful river in southeastern North Carolina. We have lots and lots of windows and lots and lots of shades to cover the windows. When we first moved into our home, I stood in awe at the beauty each morning as I opened all the shades. Then, life crept in… Preschool and gymnastics and Kindermusik beckoned each morning and opening the shades became a hassle, too much effort, and an unnecessary part of my day.

One evening, I was sitting in my son’s room (which happens to have the best view in the house) and I’m not sure why, but I opened the shade. I was shocked by what I saw – the sunset was spectacular! The sky was filled with varied hues of orange and pink. Sunbeams threw up their arms to reach over the clouds and the river lay shimmering and silver. I couldn’t believe what I had been missing sitting inside with my shades drawn.

As Christian mothers, are we living with the shades drawn? Do we have access to glory and power and strength to get through the day but fail to ask for it because we are so consumed with our busyness? Do we take the time to truly stop and look at the children God has blessed us with? Do we ever stand back and watch as they pretend to be pirates or princesses? Do we ever crouch down to see the world through their eyes? Do we take the time to watch them sleep and pray fiercely - begging God for their health and safety?

Through His creation, which includes our little ones, God reminds us daily of His never-ending presence. All we have to do is take the time to stop and open the shade. Then and only then can we bask in His presence.

Tara Hackney is currently raising her shades in Wilmington, North Carolina where she lives with her husband, Spence, and her sons: Nathan (4) and Christian (2). She is eagerly awaiting the arrival of the family’s newest addition in October. Tara spends most of her time painting, coloring, reading board books, cooking, cleaning, and hugging. She enjoys writing in her spare time and strives for a deeper relationship with Christ.

Can God Help Me With My Housework?

By Pamela Van Atta

Piles of dishes, loads of laundry, and a “To Do” list a mile long overwhelms even the best of women. So, can God help me (and you) with our housework? He did create the heavens and the earth. Do dust bunnies fall under the heaven and earth category? I believe they do, and I believe He can prescribe a remedy for housework challenges.

I found a parable that spoke volumes about housework. In Isaiah God says, “When a farmer plows for planting, does he plow continually? Does he keep on breaking up and harrowing the soil? His God instructs him and teaches him the right way” (28:24, 26 NIV). So many things can go wrong in farming. But God says, “I’ll teach you the right way.” Now if a right and wrong way exist in farming, then I’m sure a right and wrong way exists in housework.

“So God,” I said, “What am I doing wrong?” Then I took out a pen and began to journal. Somewhere in the midst of my scribbling, I noticed a theme emerging. Apparently, I acquired a rather lousy work ethic for chores. I quickly explained to God, “Lord these chores are mind-boggling-boring! How can anyone be inspired to do such basic things?”

In a flash, the “Virtuous Woman” of Proverbs 31 sprang to mind. I read the passage several times in my NIV version of the Bible, but nothing seemed to make sense. Then I read it in the Message which says, “First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work (Prov. 31: 8-9).

A light burst on in my head. My lousy work ethic stems from my inability to sense the worth of my work. Immediately I asked God, “Teach me the worth of my work.” Not long after, I remembered a friend of mine giving a testimony at church.

Mary stood in front of our Sunday school class with tears streaming down her sweet face. “I feel like an ugly old troll,” she said. “I’ve felt like this since I can remember, but have no clue as to why.” She told us she asked God to heal her from this feeling. And miraculously he did. “I remembered going to school dirty. My school sent me home because of my filth,” Mary said, still crying.

I realize now the worth of my work. My children’s self-concept grows from their environment. If they live in a chaotic, cluttered environment, they will feel chaotic and cluttered, but if they dwell in an organized, clean home, they will graft that order into their own lives.

This knowledge has improved my work ethic. Now I sense the worth of my work. However, this is what God taught me. What God uses to inspire me in my housework may not be the same as what He will use to inspire you. Therefore, take a few minutes and ask God, “Teach me the worth of my work.” What does He say?

Once I received motivation to do my housework, I inquired of God again. “Lord,” I said, “Teach me the right way to do my housework.” And God answered.

God knows my tendency to become overwhelmed by laundry. So His idea for me is to do only one load per day, and for me, it works. I’m never overwhelmed because I’m always caught up. I look into the dirty clothes hamper and think, “I can do that.”

God also taught me the right way to put clothes away. Putting clothes in the washer is one thing, but folding clothes and putting them away is a whole other world. I absolutely hate folding clothes. So God’s solution for me was a no-brainer. He said, “Try hanging them up.” I hang everything up now except for underwear and socks.

Laundry at this point in my life is relatively easy, with the exception of socks. “Lord what do I do about the sock fiasco in my house?” I can’t tell my oldest son’s socks from my youngest. My husband’s socks never seem to wind up in the same load. Ending up with three socks, none of which match, makes me want to pull my hair out!

God’s answer was a stroke of sheer genius. He gave me the idea to throw out all socks. Now my two sons wear the same sock size. So I bought both of them all new socks, only each pair was completely identical. I did the same with my husband’s socks and my own. Everyone has nine pairs of matching white socks. So when I do the laundry, I don’t match the socks. I simply put them in the sock drawer. Whichever two socks we pull out, they match.

God solved my laundry dilemma. He knows my personality, and my unique tendencies- and yours too. He understands what we can and can’t handle. He knows us inside and out, and He can solve any household chore that challenges us. I promise no pile of laundry is too high for Him! All you have to do is ask, “Teach me the right way Lord.” What does He say?

Visit Pamela Van Atta’s web site at http://www.healingworksministry.com/.

Are you overwhelmed with housekeeping tasks? Read on for tips from P31 Woman readers on how to keep a step ahead.

Let the Housework Slip Between the Cracks

By Jenny Rae Armstrong

Can’t find enough time to devote to housework? Let it slip between these "cracks" in your day, and your house will virtually clean itself!

While the coffee is brewing...
Clear the clutter off your countertops, then grab a sponge and wipe them down. Give your appliances a quick once over while you’re at it.

While the water is coming to a boil...
Inspect your fridge. Throw out anything that looks or smells suspect, then swipe the empty spaces with a soapy washcloth. Toss the washcloth on the floor when you're done and get rid of those spaghetti splatters.

While the bathtub is filling...
Spritz the mirror, sink, and toilet with a multi-surface cleanser, and wipe them down. Squirt cleanser into the toilet bowl and swish it around with a toilet brush. Keep cleaning supplies in the bathroom to make it easy.

While the computer is booting...
Go through that pile of papers cluttering up your desk. Toss the junk mail, file the bank statements, and if your computer is really slow, bring those coffee mugs back to the kitchen.

During the commercial break...
Put stray toys, socks, and school bags back where they belong. You’ll be amazed at how tidy the room is by the end of your favorite program!

Homemaking Events

By Kathy Stamer

Have you ever read articles or books that tell how often to clean things in your home? One book I read suggested cleaning the refrigerator once a month, changing the sheets once a week, and sweeping the kitchen floor daily.

When I was working full-time, raising three children, and taking care of my husband, I wondered how I could change the sheets once a week.

Here’s a solution that I came up with during this busy season of my life to keep on top of homemaking responsibilities. I call them “Homemaking Events.”

What are Homemaking Events? They are events, or steps taken, that take very little time and produce noticeable results. Here’s a list of my ideas, which may spur you on to think of others:

Make spaghetti sauce using canned tomatoes. Run the tomatoes through a food processor and add your choice of seasonings. While the sauce is simmering, a delightful aroma permeates your home. While you do have to keep an eye on the sauce and stir it occasionally, for the most part you can leave it unattended.

Wash the lampshades that are water resistant. Fill the tub halfway and immerse the lampshades. Let them soak for awhile, and then give then give them a quick swipe with a cloth and you're done.

Machine wash bath mats and small throw rugs. This is one of my favorites because it only takes the time to put them in the washing machine, and put them back in place once dried.
Prepare make-ahead food. Some of the things I make ahead of time are: hard-boiled eggs, macaroni salad (it comes in handy for a starch to add to a meal) and easy soups that can be frozen in individual containers.

Line the kitchen cabinet shelves. Use any type of liner, adhesive if you want to keep the liner, or paper if you plan to change it periodically. The same thing can be done in linen closets and dresser drawers.

Throw out icky and toiletries in the medicine cabinet and other storage spaces in the bathroom. For example, body lotions and creams, old and unsafe make-up, and toothbrushes.
Make gingerbread. I saved this idea for last because it's the most fun. Who doesn't like freshly baked gingerbread served with whipped cream? It doesn't take long to mix the ingredients, and the effort is so worth it!