Why We Homeschool

by Lori Hatcher

Thirty years ago when homeschooling first reappeared on the educational radar screen, it was limited primarily to families who appeared to be, shall I say, unusual. One family that achieved national recognition left their suburban lifestyle and moved to a goat farm in upstate New York to rear and educate their sons. The boys did quite well academically and ultimately secured full tuition scholarships to prestigious Ivy League colleges. The results were great, but what average family wants to go live on a goat farm for the purpose of educating their children?

Today, homeschooling has once again proven itself as a viable educational option. I say "once again," because for 200 years in this country homeschooling the only educational option. All of our founding fathers were quite well educated using the tutorial method. State-sanctioned "public education" did not come into full use until the late 1800's.

As the homeschooling mother of two teenaged girls, I am often asked the question, "So, why DO you homeschool?" While my answers are not the answers of all homeschooling families, I believe they capture the essence of why so many families choose to educate their children at home.

We homeschool because it gives us:

A rich family life-
The nature of homeschooling lends itself to activities that the whole family can do together. Instead of being age- and grade-segregated, all members of the family explore an area of science, history, culture, or the arts together. We've visited the places where the Civil War began and ended, watched loggerhead turtle babies released to the sea, toured the museums in Washington, D.C., and lay on our backs in the grass to track the stars in the summer sky. In addition to the educational lessons my children have learned, we have had the opportunity to build relationships with each other as we built family memories.

The chance for our children to pursue their interests- Because homeschooling is more time efficient, our children have more time to pursue their areas of interest once the academic portion of their school day is complete. One daughter is fascinated by the political process. The flexibility of the homeschool setting allowed her to travel to Florida in 2004 to campaign for former President George W. Bush in the I-40 corridor of Orlando with a group of 100 homeschooled students. Another daughter loves children and swimming. One day she hopes to be a physical therapist. Our homeschooling schedule allowed her to work with a USC grant project teaching autistic and mentally retarded children to feel comfortable in the water.

The freedom to be children-
When other children ask my girls if they have homework, they reply, "ALL our work is homework!" It is a funny way to comment on the fact that their homework is built into their school day. Because they have the benefit of someone working one-on-one with them in challenging subject areas, extra remedial work and practice is not necessary once they have completed their assignments. This allows them time to play outside with their friends, read for fun, daydream, and generally just be a kid.

The chance to disciple our children-
We have the freedom to open our school day with prayer and Bible reading, stop during the day to address an area of sin or disobedience, or deal with an area of character development using the principles found in God's Word. We take time in our school day to cook a meal for a sick friend, visit a neighbor in the hospital, and serve our church. We memorize Bible verses as a part of our school work, not in addition to it. I learned the Ten Commandments for the first time as I helped the girls learn them for AWANA. Now that they're teenagers, we work our way through devotionals that teach them how to keep themselves pure, be a witness to their friends, and impact the world for Christ. Our daughters see us living out our faith day in and day out because they are with us.

The chance to live life at a slower pace-
One friend shared with me that her family life was so busy that between school, homework, extracurricular activities, church activities, and the rarely shared family meal, that she didn't even have time to bathe her children during the week. Our lifestyle, while still busy, makes time for home-cooked meals with friends, sleeping in after a late night, and read-alouds after dinner.

A chance to be well socialized-
Because they have been taught in a learning environment that regularly reaches beyond a classroom, my children can communicate and interact well with people of all ages, not just their peers. They learned to talk with the elderly as we visited a nursing home every week for a year and a half. They learned to enjoy young children as they volunteered at summer camp and Vacation Bible School. They learned to relate well to adults as they worked alongside them and learned from them in various campaign events and ministry opportunities. Imagine my surprise to hear my daughter interact in an informed and articulate way with her Senator regarding a recent education bill he had introduced! The world is not age-segregated, so my children need to be able to relate to people of all ages and walks of life. Homeschooling has given them that opportunity.

I am the first to say that homeschooling, like any other educational alternative, is not for every family. It is right for mine, and it might be right for yours. I encourage you to evaluate your current situation, pray with your spouse, and ask God to show you what is best for your family. If you feel led to consider homeschooling, I encourage you to do some research. Check out some books from the library, talk to a homeschooling friend, do a web search on it. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without finding fault, and it shall be given to him." (James 1:5) NKJV God bless you as you seek His will for your family!


A 17-year veteran homeschooler of two daughters, Lori Hatcher shares life with her youth pastor husband David. She is the author of the book Joy in the Journey -- Words of Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms, available in early 2012 from Mardel.Com. Visit her blog, Be Not Weary at www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com for more encouragement.

I Stopped Giving It All at Christmas

By Lara Krupicka


“Please let me give flowers to my teacher,” my daughter begged that first year we were introduced to Teacher Appreciation Week. But out in my yard the only blooms visible were rows of wilting daffodils.

“Can it wait a few weeks?” I asked. My daughter cried. Within a few minutes, however, I had her excited at the prospect of the bright pink peonies and deep purple irises yet to bloom. More tears were shed that week as she daily recounted the flowers and gifts other children brought for the teacher. But, two weeks later she returned from school bursting to share how her flowers brightened the teacher’s day and her empty vase. That day I learned the value of bucking tradition when it comes to gifts.

If you’re like me, sometime in late October the anxiety begins to build. By Thanksgiving it’s a palpable knot in your stomach, and by mid-December it has become full-out panic. In the name of tradition and expectation we push ourselves to stressful heights during the annual holiday season. And chances are, at the end of each one we vow not to do it again. Yet October rolls around and… stress again. What to do? Change it up! Stop the old, stressful tradition and start a new one. Stop giving gifts to everyone on your list at Christmas. Instead, give your gifts of appreciation to people like your hairdresser, the mailman and yes, the school teacher, at other times of the year. You’ll find that spreading out your gratitude will result in benefits for both your recipients and for you.

Thoughtfulness

You’ll benefit by having the ability to be more thoughtful in choosing your gifts. With a self-imposed, flexible deadline, rather than one dictated by the calendar, you can find space to be creative and considerate. There will be no more last-minute dashes to the store to grab some old something for the doctor or babysitter.
Not only that, but the thoughtfulness becomes more apparent when the gift does not arrive at the traditionally appointed time. A few years ago I started giving teacher gifts during October and November. Having seen the mounds of gifts some teachers receive in December and the less-than-enthusiastic reception they induce behind closed doors, there is no doubt tradition equates with obligation for some people. And that defeats the purpose. My October gifts are separated from the season of obligation, and as such, stand a better chance of being appreciated for their sincerity. Rather than showing up in obligatory fashion, my gifts arrive unannounced, unexpected.

One year, my youngest daughter particularly enjoyed giving her teacher a fall gift. She giggled as we created the padded pumpkin, wrapping a roll of toilet paper (more giggles) in cushy batting and patterned fabric. And she proudly inserted the stick she’d found in our yard in the pumpkin’s top as a “stem”. The next day she stood erect in the line at school, clasping the gift bag to her chest. Later that afternoon, she leaned into my arm as I read the note from the teacher. “Thank you for the adorable pumpkin. It’s the only fall decoration I have for my desk. How thoughtful of you.” It made not only the teacher’s day, but my daughter’s as well.


Focus on the Recipient

Taking the time to think through and act on what would be most meaningful to our beneficiaries can greatly enhance the value of a simple gift. When during the year could they use the appreciation and encouragement the most? What gift or gesture would speak to them personally? Putting the focus on our recipient means watching, listening and learning about them in an effort to truly appreciate them individually. Instead of following our timeline or our “to do” list in a mechanical fashion, we act on a timeframe more suited to those we seek to bless. That speaks volumes. It elevates the value of the gift by virtue of being other-focused.

As church nursery coordinator I saw the need for this in my gifts to the nursery volunteers. I baked them cinnamon rolls in December in a nod to tradition. But then in February, when cabin fever reached its height and the end of the term seemed far away, I gave each of them a gift: an encouraging book I’d selected for specifically for each of them, along with a hand-written note expressing my gratitude. The impact of my timing led one of my volunteers to come thank me for my encouragement to her.

Freedom and Peace

Other rewards for bestowing appreciation gifts outside the frenzy of the winter holidays include freedom and peace. My holiday gift-buying list shrinks by at least a dozen when I shift the timing of my gifts of gratitude. This frees up space for baking, or entertaining, or even shopping for gifts for family members. It reduces the load of holiday preparations to a manageable size. I’m less stressed and it shows in everything I do during December.

We need to rethink giving our gifts of appreciation at Christmas. It may mean explaining to people our intentions, to counter any expectations related Christmas gift-giving traditions. But in doing so, we’ll lighten our own load and open the door to a season of peace and joy. We’ll bring our gifts into an open time frame; one better suited to the needs of those we’re giving to. And we’ll have more time, both for considering the gifts we give to those we appreciate and for those gifts remaining on our list for the holidays.

Why not give yourself a break this year and take appreciation gifts off your holiday “to do” list? You might come off as the best giver ever when you spread out the blessings over the entire year.

Lara Krupicka is a wife and mother to three tween girls. She writes and speaks regularly about gift giving, hospitality, and finding simple ways to live the abundant life Jesus promises us. Lara is also the author of Pampering Gifts: Crafting a Ministry of Treating People Well for Less.

Tips for Preparing Your Child for Challenges

By Glynnis Whitwer

The promise of a new school year burns bright this time of year. Crisp white paper and sharpened pencils are at the ready, as excited children (and moms) fill clean, new backpacks with supplies. Back-to-school shopping has restocked the closets with shoes that fit, jeans that are long enough and jackets to replace the ones that were left on the playground in March.

By the first day of school, parents will have prepared their children well. But, have they thought of everything? Have parents prepared their children to deal with the anxiety of change, the fear of harder tests and the possible bullying from a new classmate?

Sadly, most of us don’t know how to prepare our children for the emotional challenges of school. We tend to find out about issues when they have escalated into problems. This year, I’d like to share a few tips for preparing children to deal with some of the most common problems they might face in the coming months.

Stress

People get stressed when pressures accumulate faster than our ability to adapt, last longer than our ability to maintain control, or our internal makeup is unable to deal with problems. Given that children have very little control over their circumstances, they are at a great risk of facing stress. Here are a few things parents can do:
· Create a stress-free environment at home. Establishing calming routines in the mornings, afternoons and evenings give your children a chance to regroup.
· Limit extra-curricular activities for all family members. Parents can model healthy activity loads when children are very young. Lots of time at home enables you to finish homework, study for test and work on projects without stress.
· Honor the Sabbath. This is difficult for most families, but it was God’s design for a day of well-needed rest. Try and build in a day where everyone is free to celebrate life together.

Fear

Many children will deal with fear at school. Fear often manifests itself with physical symptoms before your child will be able to communicate his emotions. Be attuned to slight hesitancy, upset stomachs or difficulty sleeping. What you can do:
· Establish a culture of openness at home. Always take your child’s fear seriously and investigate a concern. Your child will grow to trust that you will take her seriously.
· Desensitize your child. If your child is naturally hesitant and fearful, introduce new situations gradually. If the start of school is fearful, then practice walking to school the week before. Talk through possible situations. If you’ve never be separated before, then have some practice runs where you leave your child at a friend’s house for a short time and then return.
· Have an action plan. Play the “What If?” game. What if mom isn’t there to pick you up? What if you forget your lunch? What if you get picked on at recess? Talk though the potentially fearful situations and have a plan.

Bullying
Sadly, bullies are a part of life. Statistics say that up to 90% of schoolchildren will be bullied. Unfortunately, shame and a code of silence often keeps parents from knowing about it until it’s too late. Thankfully, there are things you can do to bully-proof your child.
· Don’t over-protect. Teach your children early on to deal with problems themselves. Children who run to adults over every small problem tend to be bullied more than children who are calmly assertive in meeting their own needs.
· Invest in your children’s friendships. Good friends are protection against bullies. Make an effort to invite other children to your home, or to join your family on outings. Create situations where your child can interact with others and develop good friendships.
· Teach your children to stand up for others. This might be controversial to you, but children need to know their parents would support them if they had to defend someone. We need to raise a generation who will defend the weak. It’s called moral courage and we need more young men and women who won’t tolerate injustice. That means getting involved and not walking away when someone is getting bullied. Another mom will thank you for it.

Problems are a part of life. We will always have them. Perhaps one of the best gifts we can give our children is to equip them with practical ways to deal with the everyday issues of life. I believe they’ll thank you for it when they’ve become adults who persevere through pain, and come out victorious.


Glynnis has written a book on this subject titled “When Your Child is Hurting.” In the book, she explores these three topics, plus 11 other common, everyday issues children face. Each chapter contains Scripture verses, inspiring quotes and discussion questions to be used in a small group setting or individually. It’s filled with practical parenting tips and encouraging stories. Click here to purchase or read more.

Crawling into the Lap of Love

By Rachel Harris


The essence of peace. Complete security and comfort. Rest. These are words that describe my memory of lying across my father’s lap as a child, rocking softly in his blue Lazy-Boy recliner while he lightly rubbed my back. That was my cherished spot because in those moments, I knew I was cherished.

I was at a spiritual retreat in December, and toward the end of the weekend, we were led in making a covenant with our Lord for the upcoming year. We were asked several questions, the most important being, “How would you describe what you would like your relationship with God to look like?” As I was waiting for my turn, I reflected back on the things I had learned during the retreat. One of the recurring themes was that our relationship with our earthly father, and how we view him, is often intimately tied to and resemble how we view our Heavenly Father. Unfortunately, for most attendees, this was a negative relationship, so the focus of that statement was tied to overcoming the past, and letting go of the harbored anger and anguish. But, that was not my experience.

Growing up, my father always worked so hard to be able to provide a comfortable home for our family. As hard as he worked, he put even more effort into creating quality family experiences with me, my mother and brother. Playing putt-putt in freezing temperatures --completely alone, I might add, since no one else was crazy enough to be outside in that weather, playing board games, having crawfish boils and barbeques, and dancing around our kitchen table on Christmas morning. We went on tons of family vacations, and for each of them, the fun shared during the long drive in the confines of the mini-van was better than arriving at the destination! But for me, none of those experiences compared to the memory of lying in my daddy’s lap, feeling completely secure and loved.

When it was my turn to create a covenant, and to say how I wanted my relationship with my Heavenly Father to look this year, I chose to honor the earthly father that He blessed me with. I realized that God knew me before I was born, someone who has always accepted His unconditional love for others, but has struggled with believing in it for myself. He knew I would need that example in my life to really start to grasp and understand His personal, intimate love for ME! That reality is so amazing, so precious, that it is still difficult to believe at times, and hard to put into words, yet I tried. The statement that I created, my covenant for this year (and beyond) is that I will “Crawl into my Heavenly Father’s lap and LET Him love on me daily.” Don’t we all need to do that?

As a home schooling mom, it is tempting to think it is my job to lead my two little princesses to God. After all, I am the one that is with them all day, everyday, teaching them His word, singing songs about His love and faithfulness, reading bible stories and acting them out. All these things are great – and necessary! But, the reality is that their relationship with their daddy will have the most impact on their Christian walk. I have realized that in everything I do, in everything I say, I need to remember that fact and honor my husband. I need to continue to build him up in their presence, make sure that they know how much he does for us and how much he desperately loves them. I need to create opportunities to allow him to share in our learning experiences and adventures, and not feel left out when they have special ‘Daddy dates.’ I need to respect the relationship they share and do all that I can to help cultivate our own special family memories that they can later look back on and reflect onto their ultimate relationship, the one with their Heavenly Father.

Father, God, I thank you for loving me before I was born and giving me such a beautiful example of that love. I realize today, God, that many may be reading this who do not share those wonderful memories of their earthly fathers, and I pray a special blessing upon them. Let them experience your presence today in an intimate way and bring healing to their hurting hearts. And, Lord, I pray that you give all of the parents reading this wisdom in how to help lead the little ones you have entrusted to our care back to You. That they see Your love for them shining through all of our words and actions. Help us to all learn how to set aside time to just crawl into your lap and allow you to love on us daily. It is in your Son’s precious name I pray, Amen.



Rachel Harris, married to the love of her life, resides in Texas with their two preschool princesses. Rachel is a writer and assistant at Heart of the Matter Online, and also journals about their homeschooling adventures and day-to-day life experiences at her personal blog at keeptheway-christianacademy.blogspot.com.

Make School Mornings Less Stressful

September marks the beginning of Fall and all the hustle and bustle that goes along with school, sports and extra-curricular schedules. To get your day off to a great start, try these tips:
It’s as easy as A-B-C!

A- Appetites: Lunches and snacks
● If lunches or snacks need to be made, make them the night before and keep in the refrigerator. You can also make sandwiches ahead of time and store them in the freezer.
● Do your children buy their lunch? Make sure they have lunch money in their bag or money in their account at school.

B- Book bags and Backpacks
● Double check that homework is done and put backpacks and book bags by the front door.
● Find out if forms need to be signed or library books returned.
● Review any activities for the next day- practices, special activities etc.

C- Clothing
● Have each child lay out their school clothes the night before, complete with shoes and socks and jackets or sweaters.
● All out of clean clothes? There’s still time to wash them.
● Even better… lay out clothes for the whole week on Sunday night.

Trouble with Learning

by Rachel Olsen

Is your child having trouble in school? Do you suspect your child may have a learning disability? Each year thousands of parents around the country answer, "Yes, what do I do about it?"

According to the National Institute of Health, a learning disability (LD) is a disorder that affects a person's ability to interpret what they hear or see, or to link information from different parts of their brain. Signs of a possible learning disorder may include: difficulties with spoken or written language, limited coordination, limited self control, or limited capacity to focus attention.

If your child is displaying a significant delay - such as 2 years behind for grade school level - in any of these areas, professional testing is recommended. Dr. Bill of Focus on the Family's Weekend Magazine suggests getting a referral from a doctor you trust such as your family physician or pediatrician. Testing can also be arranged through most schools. Once testing has provided a diagnosis, parents need to create a family plan for getting the needed help - be it educational, medical, practical or emotional.

Some families choose to homeschool their child with LD. In the home, curriculum can be personalized to the child's strengths and challenges. Other families keep their child in school but work closely with the child's teachers and provide ample homework help in the evenings to ensure successful learning. Still other families utilize professional tutoring services. Regardless of the schooling option chosen, participation and encouragement by the parent is a key to success.

As you form and carry out your family's plan, draw not only on the expertise of LD professionals but also of fellow parents "in the trenches" of LD with their own children. A local or online support group can provide a wealth of information, ideas and needed encouragement.

Here are five online resources for reading more about LD, asking questions, or seeking some needed support:
1. Schwab Learning's Guide to Helping Kids with Learning Difficulties:
http://www.schwablearning.org/index.asp

2. LD Online's extensive web site, including a section for parents: http://www.ldonline.org

3. Smart Kids with Learning Disabilities, an empowering web site for parents of children with LD: http://smartkidswithld.org

4. Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder's web site: http://www.CHADD.org

5. Articles and advice from parents home schooling children with LD: http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/weblinks/learningdisablities.htm

Getting Started in Homeschooling

By Rachel Olsen

Homeschooling is an education option rapidly gaining in popularity, particularly in the Christian community. The reasons parents chose to homeschool are as varied as the families doing it. Also numerous are the resources available, and the methods one can use to home school. Most any family can find an approach to homeschooling that will meet its needs, provided they have the heart-level desire to make it work.

In the midst of round the clock feedings, diaper changes, and potty training, I often felt I was living for the day both my kids would be in school Monday through Friday. I couldn't wait for more time to myself in a quiet, more orderly home! That day has still not come. Instead I have been homeschooling for the past few years and I am quite pleased with the results and the lifestyle it has afforded our family.

If you are contemplating giving homeschooling a try, here are some well-ordered tips for getting started:
1. Pray and seek God's will for your family concerning your children and their schooling options. Ask the Lord to lead you in the path He desires for your family. Ask him to provide everything you need to successfully walk in that path.
2. Go to your local library or bookstore and get several books to read up on homeschooling so you can make an informed decision. You will learn about the many benefits of homeschooling and the various approaches to doing it.
3. Learn your state's homeschooling laws or requirements. These will vary from state to state.
One way to find out is to contact the Home School Legal Defense Association at (540) 338-5600 or at www.hsldo.org.
4. Talk with the "experts" -- find some homeschooling families or support groups in your area. Try asking around your church, your local library, or watching the newspaper for homeschool support group meeting announcements. The chance to spend some time talking with and observing other homeschooling families will be invaluable as you decide if, and how you will embark on this wonderful journey.
5. Finally, if you are questioning your ability to teach your children well, know that all things are possible with God, including your ability to homeschool with excellence. Your confidence will grow as you follow the Lord's leading and learn about other families' experiences with this highly flexible and highly effective form of education.