The Perfect Liar

by Jeanette Towne

I never considered myself a liar. Good Christian woman, happily married, proud mother of four teens and the President and CEO of a corporation. As many of us do, I put on my plastic smile every day, dressed myself in the armor of coordinating clothes and padded myself with a thick wall of my untouchable façade. As an elaborate feast served buffet style, you could see a public exhibition of my life. What you saw from the outside appeared perfect. Every piece in place, my life was absolutely flawless. Or was it?

Several years ago while driving home with a new girlfriend I had met during a week-long mission trip I began to expose my lie. My friend shared her life story, detailing a desperate young mother who finally escaped an abusive marriage. God spoke loudly and directly to my heart. He encouraged me to open my mouth for once and to share. Risk myself to save another. Over hundreds of freeway miles, I obeyed and shared with my friend the story of me. Young, impulsive 19-year-old student, who at the urging and promise from an older boyfriend, dropped out of college, quit her job, sold her car and eloped. I explained to my friend how that one mistake almost cost me my life. I told her the next 10 years were spent as a captive, caught in the invisible web and downward spiral of horrific domestic abuse. God saved me and I miraculously escaped, never to return.

A few weeks after that long road trip, I received a letter from my friend. She encouraged me to get my story out. She told me God worked a miracle in my life and sharing this would give others hope. By being transparent it would help to educate, warn and provide inspiration for other women caught in the cycle. I argued. Why at this point while living the perfect lie would I want to be honest, open up and share the 10 years of my life that were a living nightmare? There could only be two reasons; one, I would be completely insane, or two, I would feel the conviction from God.

One of the scariest days of my life was the day I had to speak in my own church. My own church! These are the families who have known me for almost 10 years. These are the people who have seen my perfect life and have taken the bait and believed my perfect lie. Lie….who me? Yes. By not telling the truth and giving Him the glory for what He has done in my life, I was omitting to tell how miraculous and big our God really is. He provided a modern day miracle in my life and how did I thank Him for this feat? I hid the story and buried the truth to keep up my façade and show everyone my life without blemish.


I am convinced that hundreds of women come through the doors of our churches, wearing their mask of perfection and hiding the small cracks that produce instability beneath the smooth exterior. We must stop retouching our lip gloss, pasting on our plastic smiles and lying to everyone around us. We are all fractured vessels, pulling our cracked ships into the port of our churches to rest, repair and set out to sea again. If we fail to repair our cracks, we live these lies and are incapable of moving beyond our own hurt to look outward in hopes of pulling another ailing vessel into port.


God has touched me and healed me; bringing me to a point where I can look at what He brought me through and use my experiences to help others. No, I don’t have the perfect life but I’m not lying anymore. Are you? Many of you have been in relationships like I was in, many of you have things you’ve stuffed down and cover. We cannot lie anymore and pretend to live the perfect life, smiling and hiding what God wants to do in our lives to heal us. Healing us and then allowing us to impact others for Him.


Today, He has given me the courage to uncover my “perfect lie,” to become transparent, to share my story. By opening up my life (and yours), we can enter into His will, continue the process of healing, and eventually minister to others.

Jeanette Towne is the author of “From Prisoner to President,” and the President and CEO of a U. S. Based Communications Corporation. She has been happily married to her husband, Sam, for almost twenty years. Together they are raising four teenagers and enjoying life in the western United States. Jeanette loves to share her incredible and miraculous story and is available for inspirational speaking engagements geared towards women’s groups. You may contact her via her website at www.prisonertopresident.com.

Who Makes a Family?

By LeAnn Rice

Between the loss of my husband, Ron, and living on the opposite coast from my parents and in-laws, holidays felt mighty lonely. Empty chairs around the table, fewer stockings hung, and wrapping presents alone made me keenly aware of the smallness of my family of two. But letting people in is not easy for me. Loss and betrayal have resulted in protective walls around my heart. Big ones. Walls to keep me from being hurt again.

For years, I was so afraid of letting anyone in that I found myself completely alone with my sweet little boy who didn’t understand why our home wasn’t filled with family on special occasions and why there were so many empty chairs at our dinner table. I knew I desired our home to be filled with people, laughter and memories, but how could I make that happen?

I didn’t know, but God did. Over the years, God put little cracks in my walls and brought a handful of treasured friends to fill the empty chairs around our table and the voids in our lives.

~ Friends who fill in the gaps when I am unable to pick Nick up from school.

~ Friends who include us in family celebrations.

~ Friends who take care of home repairs that are beyond my capabilities.

~ Friends who let me be “Aunt LeLe” to their children.

~ Friends who notice that Nick needs a positive male role model in his life and someone to hit a tennis ball with.

~ Friends who help with the yard work in our overgrown forest of weeds and leaves.

~ Friends who notice that I don’t always fit in, so they find ways to fit me into their lives.

~ Friends who continue to eat my kitchen experiments no matter how many times I set
off the smoke alarm.

I may not have the life I imagined or hoped for, but it is my life and I am grateful for the blessings of family and friends who love Nick and me and fill in some of the empty spaces in our hearts.

I have to be honest though…I miss the holidays I used to have. Yes, I feel loved when my new “family” gathers for a big Thanksgiving dinner or a Christmas celebration. But, they have families of their own: parents, siblings, or in-laws to visit on Christmas, so our celebration takes place on a different day. Christmas morning comes around and it is still just Nick and me sitting by the tree. Well… except for that spoiled rotten cat of ours.

If you find yourself in the same situation here are a few ideas that I hope will help get you through the holidays:

• Find a family or organization that needs something you can offer. It may be bringing ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner to a family that can’t afford a turkey and fixings. Maybe a family needs help purchasing and wrapping presents for their children who would otherwise have no gifts under their Christmas tree. Collect warm coats, blankets and socks for a homeless shelter. Help a shut-in write and send Christmas cards to friends and family. Simply find a need (and there is always a need) that you are gifted and have a heart for, and fill it.

• See if there are others who will be alone on a holiday and celebrate together. Prepare and serve a “family” meal or have everyone bring a dish to share. Maybe include a silly game to keep the mood lively.

• Volunteer to serve a holiday meal at a local soup kitchen.

I have found that doing for others makes me feel so much better. It takes the focus off of me, and I am blessed to be a blessing to someone else.

Maybe your situation is different. Maybe your home will be filled with family and friends this holiday season. Do you know someone who will be alone? Consider opening your home and heart to include them in your celebration. But please do not be offended if they say “no.” Sometimes it is actually harder to be a part of someone else’s celebration because it brings back memories of what you once had. But, even when I say “no,” it means so much to have been invited…to feel like I matter to someone.

Whether you are alone this holiday season, or you have a house brimming with family, I pray that God reveals Himself to you in a very real and tangible way. May He be all that you need. May He fill every empty space. May He draw you nearer to His heart.

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

LeAnn Rice is the Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives with her 17-year-old son, Nick, and their ornery cat, Angel, in a small town just outside of Charlotte, NC. LeAnn shares hope and inspiration on her site www.AWidowsMight.org and recipes, grace, and southern hospitality on www.SheCooks.org.

Turn Your Girlfriends into Sisters

By Sallie Hagen

“I thank God every day for this group. I’ve never seen women share so openly and honestly.”
“I’ve prayed to be part of something just like this.”
“My husband jokes that we’re the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, but he knows this group is good for me.”
These comments aren’t from my church’s women’s ministry or small group, they are from the ladies in my online group!

Have you ever wished you could be part of a small group of women that know everything about you, but love you anyway? We’ve all heard that small groups are where lasting relationships are formed, but how can we reap the benefits of a tight-knit small group when our hectic schedules won’t allow it?

Organizing and leading an online small group is easier than you think, and it will fit right into any busy schedule, since most of the group communication is via private e-mail.
One year ago, I tried to organize a small group of friends to work through a women’s devotional. Although I had no trouble finding friends who wanted to do the book together, we ran into trouble trying to pick a day and time to meet that would work for everyone.

Feeling led to move forward anyway, I came up with a plan to organize our group online, using a private e-mail group through Yahoo. Some were skeptical whether it would work, but it didn’t take long for us to figure out that we had struck gold. Originally, there were six of us who knew each other only superficially, but by working through a 90-day devotional together, we were quickly able to establish trust and share our real struggles and hopes with one another.

Now, one year later, we have grown to 10 members and are working through our third devotional. We are sisters. We share everything. We lift up each other’s prayers, and cry and laugh together through life’s trials and joys. We have managed to get together once a quarter or so, but the majority of our communication is through e-mail posts to the group. In effect, we talk, share and pray together many times during any given week, rather than just once like a traditional small group.

Do you have a close sisterhood of friends that you can trust through life’s ups and downs? Has your busy schedule kept you from joining a small group at church? Here are some tips to start your own online Christian women’s small group:

• Keep the group small, with no more than 6 to 10 women. This is not to be exclusive, but the quantity of e-mails might get cumbersome and you don’t want anyone intimidated by sharing with too many people.

• Establish ground rules. For example, my group routinely shares sensitive personal information so we have a privacy policy. Sharing others’ personal concerns with others outside the group is prohibited, with the occasional exception of husbands.

• Choose a scripturally sound book or devotional to study together. Consider common interests that your group may have. Choose a start date and project an end date so everyone knows what the initial commitment will be.

• To allow for flexibility, consider working through daily devotionals on weekdays and allowing weekends for catch-up.

• As leader, be willing to spark the discussion whenever the conversation lags.

• Be real. Share your testimony and encourage others to share theirs. The earlier you do this, the quicker the communication barriers come down.

• Ask everyone to share prayer requests on a periodic basis. Compile them in a private document and distribute them to the group to pray over during your individual quiet time with God.
• As leader, avoid monopolizing the conversation and put others’ needs first.

• When delicate or painful issues arise, tread lightly and come alongside with prayer and gentle wisdom.

• Plan a periodic outing together to solidify and strengthen relationships even more.

• If you’ve been wishing your girlfriend relationships could get past superficial chatter and delve into deep and meaningful topics, I hope you’ll feel led to take the first step yourself and start an online small group that will turn your girlfriends into sisters.


Sallie Hagen is a retired CPA turned full-time homeschool mom. She serves as club director for a Keepers of the Faith group, teaches literature and writing in a homeschool co-op, and leads an online Bible study group for women striving to be Proverbs 31. She and her husband John have 6 children, ages 12 to 24. Learn more at www.mypatchworklife.com.

Christ-Like in the Bleachers

By Sara Jo Poff

The roar of the parents’ voices filled the gym. Admittedly, the game was getting tense, but the situation was worsening. It was the last quarter and the teams were tied for the championship. Parents were beginning to scream over the sound of the coach and the kids on the basketball court were becoming confused. When I loudly but politely asked the parents to calm down, the roar quickly shifted to whispers. One mom, however, turned to me excitedly and said, “Sorry; it’s just that we’ve never won a championship!” The coaches looked grateful for the silence and the elementary players no longer tripped over their own feet in perplexity.

Currently, 41 million children in the U.S. participate in team sports. Sadly, 70 percent of them will drop out before turning 13. Sadder even still is the reason they drop out: parental pressure. According to a Michigan State Youth Institute survey, the majority of these 28.7 million children cited “adults, particularly parents” as their reason for dropping out and the main reason for the game becoming a “joyless, negative experience.” According to these numbers, seven out of ten children on your child’s team are feeling an overload of pressure to play. Consider the following plays to make sure your child isn’t one of them:

Examine Your Intentions

Whether it’s for the chance of becoming pro or the opportunity to learn good sports skills and conduct, parents are doing everything they can to put their children in extracurricular activities, and for good reason. Team sports are respectable opportunities for children to learn things like competition, new skills, good sportsmanship, and parental encouragement. Many of these children, at least at first, are having FUN! It’s only when the interest of winning supersedes these goals that the pressure starts emerging. In some cases, parents live vicariously through their child and develop an over-identified zeal for the game.

In response to the growing number of incidences of abusive behavior from parents towards coaches, athletes, and officials, many organizations offer training programs for parents on good sportsmanship. One of these organizations, the American Youth Soccer Organization, requires parents of players younger than 8 years old to participate in sportsmanship and behavioral conduct classes. Others, like the Michigan High School Athletic Association, have put together a video for parents on appropriate behavior at sporting events that can be viewed at www.mhsaa.com/services.

Rewind and Replay

It is important to take a good look at which kind of sideline parent we are, especially as Christians. Whether our children are in sports or not, it is crucial for them to feel unconditionally loved, emotionally supported, and encouraged to pursue their interests.

In order to provide the encouragement and support children need, parents must first get back to the main reasons for putting them in sports. Foremost, focus on skill building, good sportsmanship, and physical movement.

Secondly, trust your child’s coach to do the coaching. This doesn’t, of course, mean you should have a naïve sense of faith in the coach, because they’re parents just like us. But, if you haven’t observed any verbal, emotional, or especially physical abuse from them and see the coach teaching good skills to the children, let them give the directions at games. All too often, children have voices hollering at them from so many directions that they are unable to hear their coach or know who to listen to. Be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19 NIV)

At the same time, make sure your child can hear encouragement from you during the game. “Good pass,” “nice shot,” or “you’ll get it next time” are good things for them to hear and aren’t distracting. Try to avoid comments like “nice try” or “almost.” [Parents], do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.” (Colossians 3:23 NASB)

Just as parents make mistakes, so, too, do officials. Instead of making sure these mistakes are corrected, think of it this way: it all evens out by the end of the season! If a foul wasn’t called and you know that your child was fouled (or even another child for that matter), don’t holler at the referee. Later on, a foul might be called for a clearly invalid foul. Use it as an opportunity to exemplify God’s commands to respect the authorities He has placed over you.

After holding back all “suggestions” during the game, don’t spend the car ride home telling your child how they could have done something differently. That behavior once again instills a winning-is-the-most-important-thing mentality. Tell them what they did well, and make sure they know that they have your support and encouragement no matter how they played.

Reach the Goal

If your child suddenly announces a decision to no longer play a particular sport, especially one they have greatly enjoyed in the past, gently inquire their reasons. Be supportive of those reasons and encourage them in other areas. Letting a child retire from a particular sport will not, as some parents think, turn them into “dropouts” or “quitters.” As long as that free time isn’t replaced with video games or television, your child can benefit immensely from making their own choices about things such as this.

If your child has other things they are not allowed to falter on, such as God’s commands, academics, and parental rules, they will know the importance of devotion and perseverance for the things that matter most in life.

The qualities that teach children good sportsmanship start at home, not on the field. Make sure your family strongly promotes good sports conduct in everything at home, from board games to yard games.

Use these ideas to help your children enjoy participation in sports. Get excited about opportunities to play. Treat them to ice cream after games no matter how well they played. and encourage good effort and self-reliance in their participation. Most importantly, make sure sports maintain their position as a hobby so they don’t turn into idols.


Sara Jo Poff, her husband Pete, and their five kids, enjoy playing basketball together from their home in Claremore, Oklahoma. As a freelance writer, Sara Jo specializes on topics related to natural family health, home education, and living for Christ. You can visit her at
www.healthyfamiliesforGod.com.

Welcoming Overnight Guests: Hospitality Tips

By Karen Ehman

Hospitality.
Sometimes the very word sends shudders up our spine as doubt invades our brain. “Host others for a meal or even overnight? No way. Not me!!! Too difficult and almost downright scary!”

Fear not, sweet sisters! There are simple solutions to your hosting dilemmas. With a little forethought and creativity, you can offer hospitality with a smile and with ease.
Although we’ve never had company live with us for an extended period of time, we have had our fair share of overnight guests. My husband’s parents have always lived nearly three hours from us and have come to stay several times a year. We have missionary friends and college buddies who also spend the night with us. And then there are our kids’ friends! Each month of the year finds us hosting an assortment of sleepy-eyed teenage girls or bright-eyed and bushy-tailed boys up at the crack of dawn ready to go pester squirrels with their BB guns. Yep, hospitality means sometimes guests spend the night.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to remember when hosting overnight callers:

Decide where they will keep their things, even if there isn’t space in the room where they will sleep. Show them the spot and make sure others respect their personal space and property.

Have a pleasant place for them to lay their head for the night. It doesn’t have to be a real guest bedroom. At our former house, company slept on a hand-me-down pull-out sofa we had in our unfinished basement. We purchased a new slipcover for it and made sure it was outfitted with warm, flannel sheets as the room was sometimes chilly. We found a dresser at a yard sale that they could use to put their things in. We painted the walls white to lighten the room and would set out a bouquet of fresh flowers, or leave chocolates on their pillows like a real inn would.

Stock their room with needed items. A lamp for evening reading, a mirror for getting ready, and a working alarm clock are the basics.

Show them the bathroom. Have a space cleared on the counter or in a cabinet for them to place their toiletries. Roll a few wash cloths and tie with a ribbon. Place them on top of the bath towel they will use. Fill a small basket with other items they might possibly need: soap, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, lotion, etc. Look for these items in special scents and trial sizes. Or, if a hotel says you can take them, then by all means, bring them home!

Let them know the laundry facilities are available to them. Check each day to see if they need anything washed and dried or ironed.

Have a pitcher of water and glasses in their room. Have the refrigerator well stocked with juices, spritzers, or teas for them to enjoy if they are thirsty.

Consider placing a basket of fruit or shortbread cookies and chocolates in their room. Tailor it to their liking. Include anything that says, “Welcome! We were thinking of you!”

If a coffee lover will be staying with you and you don’t drink coffee, consider purchasing a small coffeemaker that they can use in their room.

Let them know your schedule and be aware of theirs. Discuss breakfast the night before. Let them know when supper will be served and make sure it works in their schedule.

Before they come, discuss dietary restrictions.

Pet- and child-proof your guest’s room. They will appreciate the protection it will provide their belongings. Also, before arrival, find out if your guests have pet allergies. Rid your place of pet hair and try to keep your animals away from them as much as you can.

Let them know if there are any quirks to how things work at your house. Does the hot water take a while to run? Does the front door lock need a little push to the right in order to open?

If you can’t always be home when they will be returning, give them a spare house key.

Treat them like both guests and part of the family. People feel uneasy if you seem to be begrudgingly putting life on hold just to entertain them. As a rule, go about your daily routine, but make them a part of it.

There you have it! Now, don’t feel as if you need to invite a whole host of folks to spend the week with you. Start small. In no time, you will be in hostess heaven and your guest will feel right at home. Enjoy your company!


For more great hospitality tips, check out Karen’s book “A Life that Says Welcome.”
Karen Ehman is also a member of the P31 Speaker’s team. Click here to learn more about Karen.

Sexting? Is Your Child?

by Lynn Cowell

Concern seemed to spill from the girls’ lips as I heard their discussion developing in the back seat of the car. “You’ll help me as I confront her, right?” “Right.” Obviously, there was something happening in the lives of these seventh grade girls, causing them to be acting more like adults than ‘tweeners. Not wanting to pry, but feeling I like should be in the know, I continued to do the “mom eavesdrop”. “She said the pictures weren’t of her. They were of someone else, but why would you have pictures like that on your own phone?” Disappointment and sadness began to flood my heart. The world of sexting was crossing over into my child’s borders.

New Battlefield

Sexting is one of the newer battlefields we are now calling to fight upon for our children. Sexting is the new name for the act of sending, receiving or forwarding naked photos via your cell phone. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy conducted a survey which reported that one teenager in five reported having sent or posted naked photos of themselves.

Like me, you are probably thinking, “No way, not my children.” Unfortunately, it is more common than most of us would ever want to believe and I, for one, don’t want to be caught off guard. I’m the type of mom who would rather face things head on; get it out in the open and talk about it. Knowing this as well as the fact that I like to keep up on the latest things teens face, my fifteen-year-old daughter called me to check out a tv program. She was flipping through the channels and found Tyre Banks was hosting a panel of teen girls and their moms. Their topic: sexting. Hoping I might gain some insight into the how’s and why’s of this new rage, I invested the next hour of my time.

Want To Be Valued

As I watched, I looked over the girls on the show. They didn’t look rough or harsh. In fact, they looked a lot like any girl I would see at my daughter’s school or in our church. Then, I began to listen. “I liked being told that I was beautiful.” “The boys finally started to pay attention to me.” “I really don’t see it as that big of a deal.” My heart sank. It’s the same old trick from our enemy, Satan; he has just used a new means.

Girls want to be valued. They want to know that they are beautiful and wanted. I used the opportunity to once again instill in my daughters the truth of who they are in Christ. They have Someone who tells them that they are beautiful - their Creator. He is paying attention to you every minute of every day. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. When we use them in ways He didn’t intend, it is a really big deal! I reinforce these truths by having framed pictures with verses and sayings hanging in their rooms. My prayer is that when they are doing their homework, talking on the phone or straightening their hair, they will remind them of just who they are.

I also remind them of the practical consequences that take place when we choose not to follow His ways. Many children do not realize that once a photograph is on a cell phone, it can be put on the Internet where access is unlimited. Not only is this a problem for the morality of our children, but what they may not know, is that it is against the law. Our children can be caught in a web that they did not create nor want to be a part of simply by being a recipient of an unwanted picture. Our children need to be reminded that one dumb decision can have a lifetime of repercussions.

Don’t Be Afraid to Talk

So what is a parent to do? In my home, we removed the ability to access the Web and the transmission of pictures from their cell phones. This way our children cannot send nor receive photos that they didn’t asked for.
For some of us, these discussions can be so uncomfortable. I asked my daughter for her advice. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just talk about it in a normal voice or as you would anything else. It is really common in a teen’s life. If you make a big deal about it, they won’t want to talk about it.”
Don’t be afraid to talk about sexting with your teen. If you don’t bring it up, someone else will. Show your child you care by entering their world and addressing the hard stuff. You’ll be glad you did and even if they don’t tell you, they’ll be glad you did too!

Lynn Cowell writes from Charlotte, North Carolina where she is a part of the speaking team for Proverbs 31 Ministries. She writes every Wednesday on issues about teen culture. Join her at www.LynnCowell.com. She writes for your teens as well at www.HeIsThatIntoYou.com.

Ten Things You Can Do for Parents of Really Sick Kids

By Jolene Philo


During a family crisis, people want to put feet to their prayers and help in tangible ways. Here are ten practical things you do for parents of really sick kids.

1. Be specific. Say “I’ll come for your laundry Tuesday” rather than “Call me if there’s anything I can do.”
2. Do yard work. Mow, weed and water flower beds, harvest the garden, or shovel snow.
3. Facilitate communication. To avoid inundating parents with phone calls, arrange a daily time for them to call you with updates. Via email, disseminate the updates to church family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers.
4. Offer technical expertise. Set up webpage for parents at www.CaringBridge.com or www.CarePages.com, two organizations that offer free website for hospital patients.
5. Send an activity box. Depending on the child’s age, illness, ability and interests fill the box with coloring and activity books, crayons, markers, glue, stickers, sewing cards, scissors, paper dolls, and small Lego sets.
6. Send a care package. Depending on the parents’ situation, send note cards, stamps, pens and pencils, travel-sized toiletry items, quarters for vending machines and laundromats, crossword puzzle and Sudoku books, magazines, a phone card, favorite treats, and a copy of A Different Dream for My Child.
7. Help with the siblings. Take healthy siblings to school, extra-curricular, and church events, or have them stay with you until the hospitalization ends.
8. Provide maid service. Commandeer a house cleaning crew when the hospital stay winds down.
9. Fill the fridge. Toss out any green stuff growing in the refrigerator and stock it with bread, milk, eggs and other staples.
10. Organize meals. Create a volunteer rotation to provide meals three or four times a week. Record menus to avoid duplication.

Jolene Philo lives and writes in Boone, Iowa. You can interact with her at her websites, www.jolenephilo.com, and www.differentdream.com. Jolene is a graduate of Proverbs 31 Ministries’ She Speaks.

Generosity - The Big Give

by Tracy Nunes

I know what it’s like to give, then sit back proudly and give myself a pat on the back for how spiritual I am. I know what it’s like to forget my motivation for giving in the first place. This happened to me during the 15 years my family sponsored children through Compassion International, usually two at a time. We began with earnest intentions and enjoyed seeing the money give the children a chance to survive and the opportunity to know the Savior. We exchanged letters and sent Christmas gifts. After a while, I noticed that I thought about them most when I balanced my checkbook, and notated the automatic withdrawal from my account. We had their pictures on our wall, and guests to our home would often comment about them. It felt good, but deep inside I knew I had lost the heart of why I was doing it.

My heart was unsettled, and I asked the Lord to reveal whatever needed to be changed in me … I just wasn’t expecting there would be so much! My heart towards giving was not the “abundance” intended for me. My cup was overflowing alright but not with good things! God began by showing me scriptures that demonstrated how the Savior responded to the needs around Him. Jesus loved the poor, spoke to them, and performed miracles amongst them, more than any other group of people. But, His clear and resounding message was that there is a greater poverty than the material, there is a greater hunger than the rumble of stomachs, and there is a greater shelter than a roof over our heads – the shelter of the arms of Christ. Jesus never looked over or around the needs in front of Him, but He always saw them through the light of eternity.

When Mary poured the extravagantly expensive perfume over Jesus’ head in adoration, and in unknowing preparation for His burial, Judas protested that it was a waste and that the money could have been given to the poor. Jesus rebuked Judas saying, “Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time. But you will not always have me.” (Mark 14:4-7 NIV) Mary honored Him and put Him first.

Besides showing me scripture, God answered my prayer by giving me the humbling opportunity to be on the receiving end of generosity. I was blessed by some unexpectedly needed help. Through these experiences, and others, I have learned that giving must be an overflow of God’s Spirit in my life, and not an outward attempt to appear spiritual. As I seek Him, God will give me the vision and heart for the people I am led to give to. He will show me how to make my life, heart, home and resources available to be used as He directs. Food, shelter, clothes and medical supplies must be given with the Hand of our Savior and with the goal of reaching their eternal souls through their earthly needs.

The call of the world and the demands of a daily schedule will always challenge these principles for me. I get frustrated with myself because I seem to need remedial instruction more often than I would like. There can sometimes be a Judas mentality lurking beneath the surface. There will always be something new to learn or a greater depth to reach in an area I thought was mastered. It will help me to maintain my focus if I remember to keep no account of what I have given to people, to expect nothing in return and to be as discreet as possible when giving.

Increasingly, the Lord reminded me to pray for the children we sponsor and to always remember that the blessing is in giving and in honoring the Lord, not in the recognition I receive for it. As I follow these principles I will not only fulfill the Great Commission but, as I obey His ways of giving, I will be blessed with a deeper walk with Him. When I give, Jesus will be loving people through me and they in turn will see Jesus and not Tracy.
Proverbs 31 Ministries is a proud partner of Compassion International. If God is leading your family into a deeper experience of ministering to the poor this year, consider sponsoring a child. You’ll have the opportunity to know your sponsored child through letters and photos, and will make an eternal difference in his or her life. Click here for more information: http://www.compassion.com/Sponsor_a_child/default.htm?referer=68813

BOOK CLUB 101: 7 TIPS FOR BEGINNING A BOOK CLUB MINISTRY

by Heather Goodman

Inspired by Oprah and a love for books, book clubs are peppering neighborhoods, churches, and libraries. Book clubs can be a way to delve deeply into books chapter by chapter, or they can be an excuse to get together over a common interest. Beginning a book club with a distinctive Christian flavor, whether you use books by Christian authors or secular authors, gives women the opportunity to see Christian themes in a new light and to evangelize to a neighbor who shies away from attending a Sunday morning service.

Starting anything new can be intimidating, especially when you have laundry to be done, kids to be bathed, and dinner to be fixed. These seven tips help women who have a love for books, and a love for other women put their desire into practice.

1. Set the guidelines. Reading and discussing one book a month allows women to come when they’re interested in a specific book without feeling pressured to commit. Doing a couple chapters a week requires a group more dedicated both to the book and to each other. Determine if you want to read fiction, nonfiction, or a mixture, if you will do it on your own in your home or through an organization, such as your church, library, or PTA, and if it’ll be a mixed gender group or women only, intergenerational or age-specific. Each option has its own pros and cons. I approached my church about starting a monthly fiction book club under the Women’s Ministry. We agreed that it would be a great way to get women of different ages intermingling.

2. Start with a core group. Find a couple of friends for a "test" month before you get the word out. I asked three women in my church for my test month. Word spread, and we had eight women at the first month, one of whom I'd never met before. Starting with a core group gives you room to learn together and get comfortable with one another and your interactions.

3. Choose books for the next four months with the test group. Have suggestions ready, but remember a book club isn't about making everyone read the books you like, but to share your favorites together. Letting go of this aspect, gave me the pleasant surprise of discovering new authors I would have otherwise skipped over.

4. Find local authors to speak to your group or authors willing to do a conference call. Connecting writers and readers invigorates both. This is easier than you think because authors enjoy this aspect. At my first author appearance, I worried that the group would be scared silent. Not so! They couldn't wait to ask questions, give kudos, and even tell the author what didn't work for them. The author had a great time getting to hear feedback—as writers, too often, the only feedback we get is a computer glare and professional reviews.

5. Advertise in local venues. I decided to start my group through the women's ministry at church, so we announced it through church forums (the website, the Sunday morning bulletin). If your church or women’s ministry has an e-newsletter, check into adding your book club to it. Post flyers at your library. Announce it at your PTA. A friend of mine created a “movie trailer” advertising their book club, and the church showed it during announcements. Be ready! Our first month after announcing it, we had 20 people show up. Women are hungry for books and for connection, and God uses what we offer Him to reach others for Him. We outgrew my house and some months even split into two groups.

6. Have discussion questions ready. These can often be found online through the author’s website or in the back of the book. If not, take the time to put together your own questions. Questions should generally be open-ended rather than yes or no. Hint: If fiction, focus on character motivation and what can be learned through the story. If nonfiction, focus on main points, challenging areas, and even questionable statements made by the author. Often, a group of women together won’t need encouragement talking, but you want to be prepared. You may choose to email the questions to the members ahead of time.

7. Enjoy! Whether your group takes a more serious look or uses the book club as an excuse to laugh together as a group of people who love books, have fun! I’ve met new friends and mentors through my book club. They’ve stretched my perspective and my imagination.

A Cup of Cold Water

by Sharon Sloan

“If anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is My disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42 (NIV)

The fiendish heat wave was in its seventh day. Local news reporters were urging residents to stay inside in air conditioning as the air quality was so poor. One particular evening after dinner, the oppressive heat eased up just a touch, and we decided to brave the outdoors. I sat on our front porch while Joshua and Gabrielle played contently in the front yard with some neighborhood friends.

A distinguished-looking man with a friendly countenance walked at a purposeful pace down the sidewalk. Quickly observing an aide assisting him with campaign literature, I knew he must be a hopeful politician seeking support in the upcoming elections.

As he strode up our driveway and reached out his hand to shake mine, it was clear his body was struggling with the stifling heat. As his brow glistened with large beads of sweat, his breathing was noticeably labored. His once crisp and perfectly-ironed shirt was now wrinkled and soaked with perspiration. The visitor’s efficient greeting was an effort to politely keep cadence so he could complete his neighborhood campaign and find necessary relief from the heat.

All the children had kept playing during this brief encounter, but Joshua had been taking notice.As the man was walking down our driveway towards our neighbor’s home, Joshua said, “Mommy, that man and his helper look very hot. I was just thinking I would like to give them some cold water. He has wet spots all over his shirt, and cold water would help him.”

My heart rejoiced in Joshua’s compassionate and responsive heart. He genuinely cared and discerned the condition and needs of our unexpected callers. Joshua was loving in actions and in truth. “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 (NIV)

As my husband and I spend these precious parenting years in the trenches, our desire is to train our children how to apply 1 John 3:18 and be mindful of the needs of those God has placed in our paths. We prayerfully trust the Holy Spirit to gently nudge our children’s hearts and fill them with the joy and peace that accompanies obedience. All around us are opportunities to love with actions that bring honor to God.

Ever since the children were small toddlers, we’ve walked around our cul-de-sac together to bring morning papers from the bottom of neighbors’ driveways up to their porches. On trash collection mornings, we often would bring the neighbors’ empty trashcans up to their garage doors. Now, when our children see a newspaper or an empty trashcan, they take action instinctively on their own. Though they are young, they can serve the Lord in useful and significant ways. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Tim. 4:12 (NIV)

Some other ideas may include leaving a home-made card or a little gift at the door of someone hurting or needing encouragement. At Christmas, small gifts can be purchased for other children whose parents may be struggling financially. Sponsoring a child through Compassion International and having your children pray for and write to that child is a beautiful way of awakening your child’s heart to the needs of others. For Easter, through Samaritan’s Purse Ministries, musical stuffed lambs that play “Jesus Loves Me” can be sent to children in third world countries. As we respond in obedience to His leading, these acts of kindness stir children’s sensitivity and prime their hearts to be actively looking for ways to serve others in their family, neighborhood and around the world.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24 (NIV) A few years ago, we were inspired by another Christian family in our community who put love into action. So, following their lead, for our birthdays that year, rather than receiving birthday gifts for ourselves, we requested new library books for a Christian school in New Orleans that had been devastated by Hurricane Katrina. In total, our little family received almost 200 new books for the school after we had celebrated all four of our birthdays.

This year, our birthday ministry outreach was by theme. Joshua chose basketball, and Gabrielle chose a theme of flip flops. Their party guests brought gift cards for footwear and new basketballs for Rock Ministries of Philadelphia, which ministers to at-risk young men of Philadelphia’s inner city. Gabrielle’s guests generously gave more than $400 in footwear gift cards, and Joshua’s guests donated 30 new basketballs for these young men at Rock Ministries.

Seemingly small expressions of kindness can soften hearts and bear eternal fruit. As we love others with actions and in truth, He is faithful to bring forth a harvest. When we extend His love and kindness to others, they can see His perfect love, salvation and provision. Our rewards blossom in our soul as He fills us with His joy and peace.

As Joshua served our visitors bottles of cold water for their journey that evening, his reward was a personal treasure in his heart between himself and our Heavenly Father. “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.” Matthew 25:40 (NIV) With a pure heart, Joshua had served our Lord and King a cup of cold water. He was loving with actions and walking in the truth of God’s Word.

Indeed, there is no greater joy for a Christian parent. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4 (NIV)

Sharon Sloan and her devoted husband, Jim, live in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. They have two precious children: Joshua (8) and Gabrielle (6). Sharon is a She Speaks! Graduate and has had devotions published through P31 on-line devotions. A paralegal by profession, Sharon now works part-time at her church as an administrative assistant. She leads a P31 Gather & Grow group in her home. Sharon is passionate about encouraging others in their personal walk with the Lord. The Sloans invite you to visit them at: www.joyinthetruth.blogspot.com. Please share how God has led you to love with actions so we can all spur one another on!

Tips for Friendship Gatherings

By Gaye Clark

Here are some ideas on how to start Friendship Gatherings at your church:

• Plan ahead: Calendars can fill up fast with other obligations. Call and invite your guests about three to four weeks before you plan to host a meeting.
  
• Be specific as to when you need to hear back from them, so you can extend the invitation to others if they can not attend.
  
• As much as possible, invite church members who are not already close friends.
  
• Follow up phone calls with written invitations. Include a map and contact information.
  
• Target a meeting time of no more than two hours. Busy women are more inclined to say yes if they receive specific details as to time frames.
  
• One week before your gathering, call to remind your guests of their acceptance. If “something has come up,” the information may help you adjust your shopping list.
  
• Keep it simple. I like to use the same two menus and alternate them. It makes shopping and cooking easier. Also, plan a meal or dessert that can be made ahead of time. You want to spend time with your guests, not your kitchen.
  
• Don’t go it alone. A hostess may well need another to prepare the meal or dessert. When you partner with another, you don’t allow your personal limitations to keep you from practicing hospitality. Team service helps us learn from one another.
  
• After a gathering, don’t be afraid to follow up with someone if the Lord prompts you. Perhaps you learned that a woman who attended is not a Christian. Call her again afterwards and take a personal interest in her needs. Though a Friendship Gathering is not designed for evangelism per se, a few women at my church came to know the Lord through relationships formed at one.
  
• Realize that a Friendship Gathering may sound like a great idea to you, but some women may not agree. If a woman turns down repeated invitations to a gathering, it may be that she is not interested. Be understanding if that is the case. Make a note of it so she will not continue to receive additional unwanted invitations.

She's Just Like Me

By Susan Frantz Belisle

October is Clergy Appreciation month. Why not take this opportunity to support and encourage your pastor’s wife?

If you are like most women, you need a little encouragement every now and then. There is a very special woman in your life that especially needs your support and encouragement. She’s your Pastor’s wife, and just like you, she needs to be loved, honored, and appreciated.

October is designated as Clergy Appreciation Month by several different Christian organizations. Indeed, Pastors need to be recognized and appreciated during the month of October as well as throughout the year. The Bible says we should give honor to whom honor is due. (Roman 13:7) Blessings will come to those who follow this admonition from the Apostle Paul.

As you think of ways to honor your Pastor this October, be certain to recognize and honor his wife. Regardless of what specific roles she may fulfill within your church, she is your Pastor’s partner in ministry. She is also your spiritual leader and carries a tremendous burden for the ministry of your church. She too needs to be encouraged and honored during Clergy Appreciation Month. So here are some practical ways in which you can encourage her as you think of your PASTOR and his wife this October.

PRAY for your Pastor’s wife. She needs your prayers daily. Pray for her health, her family, her spiritual well-being, and her ministry. Ask her if she has specific needs that you can pray about. Call her, send a card or tell her that you are praying for her. If you can commit to on-going prayer for her, offer to be her prayer partner. More than likely, she is already praying for you. Your Pastor’s wife would be delighted to know that you are also praying for her. Perhaps you already are, but be sure to let her know that you often pray for her. This will encourage her greatly.

AFFIRM her value as a person. Tell your Pastor’s wife that you appreciate the many ways in which she supports her husband and your church. Although she may serve in the “shadow” of her husband or “behind the scenes”, she is laboring faithfully for the Lord. Try to be specific in complimenting her on the work that you see her do. Or just thank her for being a godly role model for the women of your church. Most importantly, tell her that she has made a difference in your life. This is one of her greatest desires.

SURPRISE her with an act of kindness. Your Pastor’s wife is always thinking of you! She makes phone calls, sends cards, plans and organizes events, gives of her time, and does so many other things with you in mind. Take the time to call her or send her a card thanking her for all that she does. Send her flowers, take her to lunch, or give her a small gift. The monetary value of what you do is not important. She will be touched that you thought of her, and your act of kindness will brighten her day. It will give her the motivation to keep on keeping on.

TAKE the time to understand her. As the saying goes, “Walk a mile in her shoes.” Unless you have been a Pastor’s wife, it is difficult to understand the pressures and demands that she experiences daily. She carries a heavy burden for the spiritual well-being of those at her church. She cares deeply about the hurts of others. She wants her church to make an incredible difference for the Kingdom. She works with the zeal of our friend Martha who labored in the kitchen trying to please her Lord. Allow and encourage her to serve in her area of giftedness rather than serving according to the needs of your church or the expectations of others.

OFFER to help her in whatever way you can. Besides being a wife, mother and perhaps a grandmother, her role as your Pastor’s wife’s is endless and never done. She would be surprised and thrilled to have you offer to help her when she’s working on something at church. Better yet, call her and ask if there is anything you can do to help her. Think of a small task that you know she is responsible for and ask her if you can take care of that for her. She’s probably not accustomed to people offering to help her so it may take some time before she can think of a task you can help her with. She may be used to giving and not receiving, but continue asking her how you can help lighten he load.

REMEMBER that she’s human. She’s just like you. She has struggles, heartaches, disappointments, doubts, and fears… just like you. She makes mistakes and is sometimes disappointed with herself…just like you. She is seeking a closer walk with Christ…just like you. She wants to be loved and accepted…just like you. Although she is your Shepherd’s spouse, she is not exempt from human frailty and weaknesses. Extend grace and forgiveness to her when she disappoints you or doesn’t meet your expectations. Support and defend her to those who may be critical at times. Love her with the love of Christ. Treat her as you would want to be treated if you served in the same role of a Pastor’s wife. Most importantly, remember…she’s just like you!

Hospitalitudes

by Pat Ennis

Happy are those…

• who practice biblical hospitality because in so doing they are demonstrating their love for God (1 John 3:17-18).
• who "pursue the love of strangers" for they are choosing to obey their heavenly Father's command and modeling His character (Romans 12:13b).
• in church leadership who practice hospitality for they allow others to observe them in their homes where their character is most graphically revealed (1 Timothy 3:1-2; Titus 1:5-8).
• who include people of all cultures on their guests list for in this manner they are demonstrating the expansive love of their heavenly Father (John 3:16).
• who are willing to make the sacrifice to practice hospitality for they understand that good memories require time and energy to create (Exodus 12:1-14).
• who develop hospitality management skills for in this way they are capable of being faithful stewards of all that our Lord has provided for them (1 Corinthians 4:2).
• who intentionally extend hospitality to "the others"- singles, widows, the grieving, the hospitalized, those with dietary challenges, and those experiencing food insecurity-for they are choosing to live out biblical compassion (James 2:14-16).
• whose homes are both a place of refuge and a center for evangelism for they are glorifying their heavenly Father by their actions (1 Peter 2:11-12) and fulfilling His instructions "to do the work of an evangelist" (2 Timothy 4:5).
• who have consecrated their lives to their heavenly Father for they are then capable of practicing true biblical hospitality (2 Corinthians 4:7).
• who have consecrated their china to their Lord's service for they have the opportunity of helping others to "taste and see that the LORD is good" (Psalm 34:8).
• who do not become disillusioned in practicing biblical hospitality for they understand that in due time they will reap if they do not grow weary (Galatians 6:9).
• who acknowledge that they are unable to practice biblical hospitality in their own strength, for by this means they learn that our Lord's power overcomes their weaknesses and allows them to become vessels used for His honor and glory (2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Philippians 4:13)!

Pat Ennis is professor and establishing chairperson of Home Economics at The Master's College, Santa Clarita, California. She is a contributing author to Think Biblically! Recovering a Christian World © Crossway Publishers and co-author of Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God © 2003 and Designing a Lifestyle that Pleases God, Moody Publishers © 2004 by Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock from which this article was adapted with permission.

Thoughts, Quotes and Scriptures on Mentoring

By Barbara Goodroe

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.- Titus 2:3-5

Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.- John C. CrosbyMentor defined is an experienced and trusted friend and adviser. - Webster's Dictionary 1988

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

The first task of a leader is to keep hope alive. - Joe Batten

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. - Ecclesiastes 4:9

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

The word "mentor" comes from a character named Mentor who was a friend and tutor in Homer's classic book the Odyssey. Mentoring is relational interaction in which one person empowers another by sharing their God-given wisdom, experience, and habits of obedience to God's word. - Rachel Olsen

In 2 Timothy 1:1-8 we see Paul's mentoring of young Timothy. Paul thanks God for Timothy (3a), he prays for Timothy each day (3b), he longs to be with him (4), he is intimately familiar with Timothy's life and family (5), and he speaks encouragement and direction into Timothy's life (6-8).

Millennials (people born after 1982) are longing for connection and meaning, and there's no better way for older people to help them find those things than by mentoring them. - Whitney Hopler on Mentoring Millennials: Shaping the Next Generation, by Dr. Daniel Egeler

If you want one year of prosperity,grow grain,
If you want ten years of prosperity,grow trees,
If you want one hundred years of prosperity, grow people.- Chinese proverb

The good Lord gave us two ears and one mouth as a sign that we should listen twice as much as we talk. - English proverb

No matter what you are teaching the younger woman - how to sew, know sound bible doctrine, be godly in character, or to serve the Lord through some sort of ministry to her family, church or friends, God wants the older woman to teach and encourage the younger women.- Martha Peace, author of Becoming a Titus 2 Woman

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. -Ephesians 4:29

Mentoring is a dynamic relationship of trust in which one person enables another to maximize the grace of God in her/his life. - John Mallison, author of Mentoring to Develop Disciples and Leaders

All you need is a home, a date and time, a few young people and a few older Christians. It's a great mix for a night of sharing and encouragement. You never know, it might lead to some one-on-one mentoring long term! - Robyn Claydon of www.christianmentoring.com

Watch over one another in love. - John Wesley

It is essential that mentors be loving enough to correct (Proverbs 27:5-6) and caring enough to affirm (Hebrews 10:24).

Christian mentoring isn't about being intensely spiritual all the time, it's about building relationships. - Mary Jane and Chris Konings

SPIRITUAL GIFTS: God's Dynamic Provision for His Church

By Barbara Goodroe

Do you recognize your own spiritual gifts as your study each of the gifts? Let's cover several and examine their basic characteristics. We need to remember it is our responsibility to understand not only our own gifts, but also to understand the gifts of others. The reason is clear. Our Lord gave each believer his or her gifts that we might be His hands, feet and words to our brothers and sisters in the Lord! We are a family. God expects His children to live in peace and love with one another. We must also remember that we need to receive God's ministry from others, not just exercise our own gifts!

There are three major lists of spiritual gifts found in the New Testament - read Romans 12:3-8, 1 Corinthians 12:8-10, 28-30 and Ephesians 4:11. These three lists might be classified into the following groups: speaking gifts, service gifts and signifying gifts. It should be noted that almost every one of the speaking and serving gifts are given as imperatives for every believer to obey.

For example, we are all to give, show mercy, serve one another, etc. This, however, is not true of the signifying (or sign) gifts. They include: miracles, healing, tongues and interpreting tongues. The gifts which are essential to every believer are the focus of the following material.

1. APOSTLE - Sent one (function, not office). The office of apostle ended with the ministry of the twelve, including Paul, in terms of authority. However, the New Testament does show a functional extension of the ministry of this gift in the lives of men like Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, Titus, etc. They are all referred to on occasion as 'apostles'-special sent ones given by assemblies to establish new local assemblies in addition to continuing to strengthen those already established. We refer to them today as church planters, and missionaries. Remember that the office of apostle included only those twelve men personally chosen by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and as John said in his first letter to the church: "That which we have seen and heard and handled of the Word of life . . . and bear witness . . ." 1 John 1:1-3.

2. EVANGELISM - One given by the Lord a strong interest in non-Christians knowing the Way, the Truth, and the Life and a willingness to speak when and where the Spirit directs. They are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing (2 Cor.2:15-17). A person with this gift will not 'hold back' for fear of offending, and will be caring and careful with their presentation of the gospel message.

3. PASTOR/TEACHER - Shepherding with instruction. The under-shepherd has a strong instinct to protect people from harmful influences and to see those in your 'flock' mature in the faith. The Word is your passion.

4. TEACHING - Systematic presentation of the whole counsel of God (Acts 20:27). You find that people are constantly coming to understand truth as you teach the things from the Word you have researched, studied, meditated upon, and personally applied.

5. KNOWLEDGE - Systematic understanding of truth. You have ability to organize and systematize seemingly unrelated material so that it is easily understood by others.

6. RULING - Leading others. You have the ability to see the overall picture, to clarify long-range goals, and set short-term goals to accomplish them. You tend to assume responsibility if no leadership structure exists.

7. DISCERNMENT- Ability to discern the false. You have ability to sense when something is presented from a human source, powers of darkness, or divinely inspired. You often claim the enemy's defeat when you discern he is using someone for his purpose.

8. WISDOM - Application of information to concrete needs. You have an ability to relate the truth of the Word to the needs and problems of everyday life. You offer practical application of the Word of God to problems and needs.

9. EXHORTATION - Motivating others to action. You love to share truth from scripture and its practical application.

10. PROPHECY - Declaring God's truths. You have the ability to identify, define and hate sin. You rely heavily on Scriptural truth to validate your authority. You are eager to have others discover their sin and show real repentance.

11. SERVING -- Meeting practical needs. You are alert to detect and meet needs of others. You are motivated to meet needs as quickly as possible, and do so without regard for your personal weariness.

12. GIVING - Supplying materially for others. You have strong desire to give quietly to assist people and ministries, and an ability to make wise purchases and investments.

13. MERCY -- Extending emotional support. You are attracted to and understand people in distress. You have strong desire to minister to hurting people and bring healing and joy to them.

14. FAITH - Turning vision into reality. You have a strong reliance on the promises of God, and conviction that God will do as He has spoken.

15. ADMINISTRATION - Getting work done through others. You have a keen feel for the people and resources available to you when you are responsible for a task and are able to effectively organize and utilize them.

Hopefully you've identified yourself in some of this description, as well as others you know and love. Applying your understanding of gifts should help you serve, and be served better when operating within the family of God.

Neighborhood Bible Studies

by Zoe Elmore

In the fall of 1998, a neighbor and I both had a vision from God to begin a bible study in our neighborhood. We began praying and building bridges of friendship with our neighbors. Our hearts were committed to providing a place where people could investigate the scriptures, encounter God, and mature in their faith through small group bible studies.

After three months of prayer and intentional bridge building, our neighborhood bible study group began. Within that same group, which has been meeting weekly since January 1999, there are different denominations represented as well as different levels of bible knowledge. But together we have experienced first hand the joy and life-changing power of studying God's Word. Here are some tips to guide a neighborhood Bible study:
1) Start with small groups since they are conducive to adults learning in a safe, comfortable environment where people feel free to ask questions and share their personal discoveries of Biblical truth and its meaning and application to their lives.
2) Share leadership so that everyone owns the group and is responsible to study, participate and develop skills to guide the discussion according to the group's agreed guidelines.
3) Stand on the authority of the Bible. The authority in these small group discussions is God's Word, not a study guide or the discussion leader. The consistent study of Scripture in a time of general Biblical illiteracy will lead people to build their understanding of the gospel story and enable them to trust Jesus as Lord and Savior, and to become mature believers.
4) Rely upon the effective work of the Holy Spirit to bring people to Jesus Christ as Savior, understand the gospel, trusting in Christ for salvation and to keep growing in him.
5) Acknowledge human dignity where all people are created to worship, serve, and enjoy Christ. God is committed to the value and dignity of all people as they study God's Word, giving them freedom to question, probe, and accept or refuse God's offer of salvation.
6) Use informal discussion, not lecture. The objective is to discover the facts, meaning and the life application of each passage.
7) Let the Bible speak for itself. This avoids the temptation to quote outside authorities such as pastors, books or movies; and it keeps religious jargon out of the discussion.
8) Avoid tangents, keeping the group focused on studying the passage of the week.
9) Be courteous. It is important to respect the different cultural and religious backgrounds represented in our groups.

These guidelines follow the inductive study method, where study questions guide you to God's Word as the sole authority for salvation and guidance, versus the deductive method where a teacher or lecturer guides you through the material. Our group has experienced success with this method as we encourage one another to expand personal discovery, and to apply biblical truths in our lives.

Love in Action

Author unknown

I was hungry and you formed a humanities club to discuss my hunger.
I was imprisoned and you went to your chapel to pray for my release!
I was naked and you debated the morality of my appearance.
I was sick and you knelt and thanked God for your health.
I was homeless and you delivered a sermon on the shelter of God's love.
I was lonely and you left me alone to attend church.
You seem so close to God
But I am still very hungry, and lonely, and cold.