Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Perfect Liar

by Jeanette Towne

I never considered myself a liar. Good Christian woman, happily married, proud mother of four teens and the President and CEO of a corporation. As many of us do, I put on my plastic smile every day, dressed myself in the armor of coordinating clothes and padded myself with a thick wall of my untouchable façade. As an elaborate feast served buffet style, you could see a public exhibition of my life. What you saw from the outside appeared perfect. Every piece in place, my life was absolutely flawless. Or was it?

Several years ago while driving home with a new girlfriend I had met during a week-long mission trip I began to expose my lie. My friend shared her life story, detailing a desperate young mother who finally escaped an abusive marriage. God spoke loudly and directly to my heart. He encouraged me to open my mouth for once and to share. Risk myself to save another. Over hundreds of freeway miles, I obeyed and shared with my friend the story of me. Young, impulsive 19-year-old student, who at the urging and promise from an older boyfriend, dropped out of college, quit her job, sold her car and eloped. I explained to my friend how that one mistake almost cost me my life. I told her the next 10 years were spent as a captive, caught in the invisible web and downward spiral of horrific domestic abuse. God saved me and I miraculously escaped, never to return.

A few weeks after that long road trip, I received a letter from my friend. She encouraged me to get my story out. She told me God worked a miracle in my life and sharing this would give others hope. By being transparent it would help to educate, warn and provide inspiration for other women caught in the cycle. I argued. Why at this point while living the perfect lie would I want to be honest, open up and share the 10 years of my life that were a living nightmare? There could only be two reasons; one, I would be completely insane, or two, I would feel the conviction from God.

One of the scariest days of my life was the day I had to speak in my own church. My own church! These are the families who have known me for almost 10 years. These are the people who have seen my perfect life and have taken the bait and believed my perfect lie. Lie….who me? Yes. By not telling the truth and giving Him the glory for what He has done in my life, I was omitting to tell how miraculous and big our God really is. He provided a modern day miracle in my life and how did I thank Him for this feat? I hid the story and buried the truth to keep up my façade and show everyone my life without blemish.

I am convinced that hundreds of women come through the doors of our churches, wearing their mask of perfection and hiding the small cracks that produce instability beneath the smooth exterior. We must stop retouching our lip gloss, pasting on our plastic smiles and lying to everyone around us. We are all fractured vessels, pulling our cracked ships into the port of our churches to rest, repair and set out to sea again. If we fail to repair our cracks, we live these lies and are incapable of moving beyond our own hurt to look outward in hopes of pulling another ailing vessel into port.

God has touched me and healed me; bringing me to a point where I can look at what He brought me through and use my experiences to help others. No, I don’t have the perfect life but I’m not lying anymore. Are you? Many of you have been in relationships like I was in, many of you have things you’ve stuffed down and cover. We cannot lie anymore and pretend to live the perfect life, smiling and hiding what God wants to do in our lives to heal us. Healing us and then allowing us to impact others for Him.

Today, He has given me the courage to uncover my “perfect lie,” to become transparent, to share my story. By opening up my life (and yours), we can enter into His will, continue the process of healing, and eventually minister to others.

Jeanette Towne is the author of “From Prisoner to President,” and the President and CEO of a U. S. Based Communications Corporation. She has been happily married to her husband, Sam, for almost twenty years. Together they are raising four teenagers and enjoying life in the western United States. Jeanette loves to share her incredible and miraculous story and is available for inspirational speaking engagements geared towards women’s groups. You may contact her via her website at