I Stopped Giving It All at Christmas

By Lara Krupicka


“Please let me give flowers to my teacher,” my daughter begged that first year we were introduced to Teacher Appreciation Week. But out in my yard the only blooms visible were rows of wilting daffodils.

“Can it wait a few weeks?” I asked. My daughter cried. Within a few minutes, however, I had her excited at the prospect of the bright pink peonies and deep purple irises yet to bloom. More tears were shed that week as she daily recounted the flowers and gifts other children brought for the teacher. But, two weeks later she returned from school bursting to share how her flowers brightened the teacher’s day and her empty vase. That day I learned the value of bucking tradition when it comes to gifts.

If you’re like me, sometime in late October the anxiety begins to build. By Thanksgiving it’s a palpable knot in your stomach, and by mid-December it has become full-out panic. In the name of tradition and expectation we push ourselves to stressful heights during the annual holiday season. And chances are, at the end of each one we vow not to do it again. Yet October rolls around and… stress again. What to do? Change it up! Stop the old, stressful tradition and start a new one. Stop giving gifts to everyone on your list at Christmas. Instead, give your gifts of appreciation to people like your hairdresser, the mailman and yes, the school teacher, at other times of the year. You’ll find that spreading out your gratitude will result in benefits for both your recipients and for you.

Thoughtfulness

You’ll benefit by having the ability to be more thoughtful in choosing your gifts. With a self-imposed, flexible deadline, rather than one dictated by the calendar, you can find space to be creative and considerate. There will be no more last-minute dashes to the store to grab some old something for the doctor or babysitter.
Not only that, but the thoughtfulness becomes more apparent when the gift does not arrive at the traditionally appointed time. A few years ago I started giving teacher gifts during October and November. Having seen the mounds of gifts some teachers receive in December and the less-than-enthusiastic reception they induce behind closed doors, there is no doubt tradition equates with obligation for some people. And that defeats the purpose. My October gifts are separated from the season of obligation, and as such, stand a better chance of being appreciated for their sincerity. Rather than showing up in obligatory fashion, my gifts arrive unannounced, unexpected.

One year, my youngest daughter particularly enjoyed giving her teacher a fall gift. She giggled as we created the padded pumpkin, wrapping a roll of toilet paper (more giggles) in cushy batting and patterned fabric. And she proudly inserted the stick she’d found in our yard in the pumpkin’s top as a “stem”. The next day she stood erect in the line at school, clasping the gift bag to her chest. Later that afternoon, she leaned into my arm as I read the note from the teacher. “Thank you for the adorable pumpkin. It’s the only fall decoration I have for my desk. How thoughtful of you.” It made not only the teacher’s day, but my daughter’s as well.


Focus on the Recipient

Taking the time to think through and act on what would be most meaningful to our beneficiaries can greatly enhance the value of a simple gift. When during the year could they use the appreciation and encouragement the most? What gift or gesture would speak to them personally? Putting the focus on our recipient means watching, listening and learning about them in an effort to truly appreciate them individually. Instead of following our timeline or our “to do” list in a mechanical fashion, we act on a timeframe more suited to those we seek to bless. That speaks volumes. It elevates the value of the gift by virtue of being other-focused.

As church nursery coordinator I saw the need for this in my gifts to the nursery volunteers. I baked them cinnamon rolls in December in a nod to tradition. But then in February, when cabin fever reached its height and the end of the term seemed far away, I gave each of them a gift: an encouraging book I’d selected for specifically for each of them, along with a hand-written note expressing my gratitude. The impact of my timing led one of my volunteers to come thank me for my encouragement to her.

Freedom and Peace

Other rewards for bestowing appreciation gifts outside the frenzy of the winter holidays include freedom and peace. My holiday gift-buying list shrinks by at least a dozen when I shift the timing of my gifts of gratitude. This frees up space for baking, or entertaining, or even shopping for gifts for family members. It reduces the load of holiday preparations to a manageable size. I’m less stressed and it shows in everything I do during December.

We need to rethink giving our gifts of appreciation at Christmas. It may mean explaining to people our intentions, to counter any expectations related Christmas gift-giving traditions. But in doing so, we’ll lighten our own load and open the door to a season of peace and joy. We’ll bring our gifts into an open time frame; one better suited to the needs of those we’re giving to. And we’ll have more time, both for considering the gifts we give to those we appreciate and for those gifts remaining on our list for the holidays.

Why not give yourself a break this year and take appreciation gifts off your holiday “to do” list? You might come off as the best giver ever when you spread out the blessings over the entire year.

Lara Krupicka is a wife and mother to three tween girls. She writes and speaks regularly about gift giving, hospitality, and finding simple ways to live the abundant life Jesus promises us. Lara is also the author of Pampering Gifts: Crafting a Ministry of Treating People Well for Less.

Count Your Blessings

By LeAnn Rice


Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his steadfast love endures forever!
(Psalm 118:1)

His steadfast love endures forever! Reason number one to be thankful!

All of us have good days and bad days. It’s part of life. But no matter how bad the bad days are, we can always hold on to this truth: The King is still on the throne and His love is steadfast and true and always. You simply can’t escape it!

As a young widow with a child, I experienced many “bad days” in the past 14 years (especially during the toddler years). There were days when I thought I wouldn’t make it another 24 hours without some help. But God never left my side and, over the years I started to notice the little blessings that each day held.

Whether you are experiencing the loss of a loved one, chronic illness, financial hardship, addiction, marital stress or other painful situations, you can find something to be grateful for each day. Looking for these blessings will refocus your thoughts toward Him, instead of your situation.

Honestly, this hasn’t always been easy. I have had days when all I could find to be grateful for was that the sun was shining or that I could actually get myself out of bed that morning. But, day by day I forced myself to count my blessings and eventually, I started to notice them all around me.

You may not be experiencing a rough patch. You may just be in the midst of a “normal” but hectic life and have a desire to develop an attitude of gratitude. Thanksgiving is a great time to focus on the things we are thankful for and get into the habit of thankfulness! Isn’t it easy to complain about the things that are inconvenient, frustrating, not going our way, etc? Just this week I found myself complaining about my piles of laundry. I should have been grateful that I have running water and a working washer and dryer when so many in our world do not have these items that I take for granted.

What about you? Do you struggle to notice the simple blessings in the midst of your hectic days? Are you experiencing a challenging time and really need to see some “good” right about now?

Here are a few practical ways to count your blessings that may become a new Thanksgiving tradition in your home.

Create a Blessing Box- Make or purchase a simple or ornate box (if you have kids, perhaps they can make and decorate one). Place cute notes or strips of paper, along with a pen, beside the box. Display the box, paper and pen in a location where everyone will see it several times a day. I like to place mine in the center of my kitchen table. At least once each day have everyone in the family write something they have to be grateful for on a strip of paper and place it inside the box. Do this throughout the year and then read the strips together in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.

* Keep a Blessing Journal

Keep a journal beside your bed. Before you go to bed each night, write down at least three things that happened to you that day that you are grateful for. It could be as simple and wonderful as a child’s smile or laughter. It could be that you had enough money to fill your gas tank. Maybe a long soaking rain started right after you did some planting. Write down anything that you were grateful for that day. When you are having a rough day, pull out your journal and read through your blessings as a reminder that there is much to be grateful for, even in the midst of life’s challenging circumstances.

* Give a Good Night Blessing

When you tuck your kids in at night, ask them to tell you one good thing about their day. This ends their day on a positive note and gets them in the habit of noticing the blessings. Perhaps, keep a journal beside their beds as well!

* Create a Blessing Chain

You know those paper chains kids make in school? Make one out of blessings! Cut up strips of red and green paper a few weeks before Thanksgiving. Have your kids write down blessings on the strips and then staple together to form a chain. When you decorate your Christmas tree, place your blessing chain on the tree, around the bottom of the tree or on the mantle. Your decorations will be covered in blessings! This makes a great conversation piece, and provides the opportunity to share the Gospel with visitors!

* Make a Blessing Tree

Instead of making a chain out of the strips of paper, punch holes in the strips, tie a pretty ribbon through the hole, and then hang strips of blessings on a tree. You can do this for Thanksgiving or Christmas, just select the color of paper and ribbons to match the occasion! You can even use a large twig with lots of branches as your tree, or a houseplant, or make one on poster paper and tape on your blessings.

* Give a Treasury of God’s Promises

If you know someone who’s going through a difficult time, consider creating a box for them and fill it with God’s promises personalized just for them. Imagine opening the box and reading, “My plan for your future, Gabriel, is filled with hope.” I have created a free template with 100 of God’s promises ready for you to customize. Simply purchase or create a box, personalize the promises, print and cut them into strips, fold the strips and place in the box, and then tie the box with a beautiful ribbon. Perfect gift for any occasion! You can find the free template by visiting www.SheCooks.org and clicking on “Resources.” Scroll down to the middle of the page and you will see the template.

Sweet friends, I pray that your blessings will be too numerous to count and that God will reveal Himself to you in the most unexpected ways.

LeAnn Rice is the Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives with her 17-year-old son, Nick, and their ornery cat, Angel, in a small town just outside of Charlotte, NC. LeAnn is co-author of the book “Untangling Christmas: Your Go-To Guide for a Hassle-Free Holiday,” an e-book filled with recipes, organization and gift suggestions, as well as tangible outreach ideas and ways to seek our Savior during the holiday. LeAnn shares recipes, grace, and southern hospitality on www.SheCooks.org and hope and inspiration on her site www.AWidowsMight.org.

The Champion of Breakfasts

by Lynn Bowen Walker

It’s not always easy to get your family out the door in the morning. There are the gym clothes to remember, homework to collect and shoes to unearth. And, if your family includes a reluctant eater, there is: The breakfast problem.

The breakfast problem arises when you, trying to do your good-mom job, direct your kids to the breakfast offerings. Cereal, maybe, or frozen waffles, or a piece of fruit. Your child – let’s say, for argument’s sake, a son – says he doesn’t like breakfast. Never has liked it. Doesn’t want any. Thank you very much.

You know that this young man will burn off approximately 13 trillion calories in the next six hours, starting with climbing on and off every bench he sees between his bedroom and his school locker. He will spend all breaks between classes with a ball of some sort, bouncing it, catching it, whamming it against inviting-looking walls. Then, he will take all opportunities to burn a few more calories trading jabbed elbows with best friend, which will inevitably wind up in a friendly wrestling match on a grassy field, a gymnasium mat, or the lunchroom floor. He will also, after school, head straight to a two-and-a-half hour basketball practice, whereby, in just stopping at the water fountain, he will burn the remaining 25 calories that presently cling to his 95-pound frame.

In short, this young man desperately needs calories. Good solid calories that you, chief-mom, know come especially from that all-important, crucially nutritious, early morning meal. But, as I believe I’ve mentioned, he refuses to eat. I feel your pain. I have been there.

On that remarkable day when my teenage son turned to me and said (finally), “Mom, I think I want to eat a healthy breakfast; it’ll help me in sports,” the heavens opened, the angels rejoiced, a thousand hallelujah choruses rang out. I immediately began researching breakfast options that contained words other than “chocolate” and “Pop-tarts.”

Here are a couple true and tried breakfast offerings that your oh-so-not-a-morning-person child might actually eat. You can prepare them while humming a made-up little tune to the following words: “She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household . . .” (Prov. 31:15a)

And what do you know, someday her household might (finally) actually eat it.

Oatmeal-Peanut Butter Bars

Make these ahead of time. They keep well on the counter and can even be frozen.

Line a 13 x 9-inch pan with foil.

In large bowl, mix together ¾ c. peanut butter, ¾ c. brown sugar, and ¼ c. butter, until well blended. Stir in ¼ c. honey, 1 egg, and 1 t. vanilla. Add 1 c. oatmeal (uncooked), quick or regular, along with 1 c. uncooked oat bran and ½ c. nonfat dry milk.

Stir until mixed. It will be a little crumbly. Press into prepared pan and bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes, until edges are lightly browned. After it cools, lift out of pan by the foil and onto cutting board. Cut into two-inch squares.

Berry-Lime Smoothie

Smoothies are a great way to get fruit into your kids. If they like them, you can experiment with all kinds of ingredients, from mango to blueberries to peach nectar to yogurt. Here’s a tasty start.

Place in blender 1 c. frozen strawberries, 1 c. fresh or frozen pineapple chunks, ½ c. frozen raspberries, ¼ c. orange juice, and 2 T. frozen limeade concentrate. Whirl together- you can add a bit more juice, if needed. Bendy straws make it even more delicious.

Lynn Bowen Walker is the author of “Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker.” You can read a chapter of her book at www.christianbook.com.

Tips for Preparing Your Child for Challenges

By Glynnis Whitwer

The promise of a new school year burns bright this time of year. Crisp white paper and sharpened pencils are at the ready, as excited children (and moms) fill clean, new backpacks with supplies. Back-to-school shopping has restocked the closets with shoes that fit, jeans that are long enough and jackets to replace the ones that were left on the playground in March.

By the first day of school, parents will have prepared their children well. But, have they thought of everything? Have parents prepared their children to deal with the anxiety of change, the fear of harder tests and the possible bullying from a new classmate?

Sadly, most of us don’t know how to prepare our children for the emotional challenges of school. We tend to find out about issues when they have escalated into problems. This year, I’d like to share a few tips for preparing children to deal with some of the most common problems they might face in the coming months.

Stress

People get stressed when pressures accumulate faster than our ability to adapt, last longer than our ability to maintain control, or our internal makeup is unable to deal with problems. Given that children have very little control over their circumstances, they are at a great risk of facing stress. Here are a few things parents can do:
· Create a stress-free environment at home. Establishing calming routines in the mornings, afternoons and evenings give your children a chance to regroup.
· Limit extra-curricular activities for all family members. Parents can model healthy activity loads when children are very young. Lots of time at home enables you to finish homework, study for test and work on projects without stress.
· Honor the Sabbath. This is difficult for most families, but it was God’s design for a day of well-needed rest. Try and build in a day where everyone is free to celebrate life together.

Fear

Many children will deal with fear at school. Fear often manifests itself with physical symptoms before your child will be able to communicate his emotions. Be attuned to slight hesitancy, upset stomachs or difficulty sleeping. What you can do:
· Establish a culture of openness at home. Always take your child’s fear seriously and investigate a concern. Your child will grow to trust that you will take her seriously.
· Desensitize your child. If your child is naturally hesitant and fearful, introduce new situations gradually. If the start of school is fearful, then practice walking to school the week before. Talk through possible situations. If you’ve never be separated before, then have some practice runs where you leave your child at a friend’s house for a short time and then return.
· Have an action plan. Play the “What If?” game. What if mom isn’t there to pick you up? What if you forget your lunch? What if you get picked on at recess? Talk though the potentially fearful situations and have a plan.

Bullying
Sadly, bullies are a part of life. Statistics say that up to 90% of schoolchildren will be bullied. Unfortunately, shame and a code of silence often keeps parents from knowing about it until it’s too late. Thankfully, there are things you can do to bully-proof your child.
· Don’t over-protect. Teach your children early on to deal with problems themselves. Children who run to adults over every small problem tend to be bullied more than children who are calmly assertive in meeting their own needs.
· Invest in your children’s friendships. Good friends are protection against bullies. Make an effort to invite other children to your home, or to join your family on outings. Create situations where your child can interact with others and develop good friendships.
· Teach your children to stand up for others. This might be controversial to you, but children need to know their parents would support them if they had to defend someone. We need to raise a generation who will defend the weak. It’s called moral courage and we need more young men and women who won’t tolerate injustice. That means getting involved and not walking away when someone is getting bullied. Another mom will thank you for it.

Problems are a part of life. We will always have them. Perhaps one of the best gifts we can give our children is to equip them with practical ways to deal with the everyday issues of life. I believe they’ll thank you for it when they’ve become adults who persevere through pain, and come out victorious.


Glynnis has written a book on this subject titled “When Your Child is Hurting.” In the book, she explores these three topics, plus 11 other common, everyday issues children face. Each chapter contains Scripture verses, inspiring quotes and discussion questions to be used in a small group setting or individually. It’s filled with practical parenting tips and encouraging stories. Click here to purchase or read more.

Christ-Like in the Bleachers

By Sara Jo Poff

The roar of the parents’ voices filled the gym. Admittedly, the game was getting tense, but the situation was worsening. It was the last quarter and the teams were tied for the championship. Parents were beginning to scream over the sound of the coach and the kids on the basketball court were becoming confused. When I loudly but politely asked the parents to calm down, the roar quickly shifted to whispers. One mom, however, turned to me excitedly and said, “Sorry; it’s just that we’ve never won a championship!” The coaches looked grateful for the silence and the elementary players no longer tripped over their own feet in perplexity.

Currently, 41 million children in the U.S. participate in team sports. Sadly, 70 percent of them will drop out before turning 13. Sadder even still is the reason they drop out: parental pressure. According to a Michigan State Youth Institute survey, the majority of these 28.7 million children cited “adults, particularly parents” as their reason for dropping out and the main reason for the game becoming a “joyless, negative experience.” According to these numbers, seven out of ten children on your child’s team are feeling an overload of pressure to play. Consider the following plays to make sure your child isn’t one of them:

Examine Your Intentions

Whether it’s for the chance of becoming pro or the opportunity to learn good sports skills and conduct, parents are doing everything they can to put their children in extracurricular activities, and for good reason. Team sports are respectable opportunities for children to learn things like competition, new skills, good sportsmanship, and parental encouragement. Many of these children, at least at first, are having FUN! It’s only when the interest of winning supersedes these goals that the pressure starts emerging. In some cases, parents live vicariously through their child and develop an over-identified zeal for the game.

In response to the growing number of incidences of abusive behavior from parents towards coaches, athletes, and officials, many organizations offer training programs for parents on good sportsmanship. One of these organizations, the American Youth Soccer Organization, requires parents of players younger than 8 years old to participate in sportsmanship and behavioral conduct classes. Others, like the Michigan High School Athletic Association, have put together a video for parents on appropriate behavior at sporting events that can be viewed at www.mhsaa.com/services.

Rewind and Replay

It is important to take a good look at which kind of sideline parent we are, especially as Christians. Whether our children are in sports or not, it is crucial for them to feel unconditionally loved, emotionally supported, and encouraged to pursue their interests.

In order to provide the encouragement and support children need, parents must first get back to the main reasons for putting them in sports. Foremost, focus on skill building, good sportsmanship, and physical movement.

Secondly, trust your child’s coach to do the coaching. This doesn’t, of course, mean you should have a naïve sense of faith in the coach, because they’re parents just like us. But, if you haven’t observed any verbal, emotional, or especially physical abuse from them and see the coach teaching good skills to the children, let them give the directions at games. All too often, children have voices hollering at them from so many directions that they are unable to hear their coach or know who to listen to. Be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19 NIV)

At the same time, make sure your child can hear encouragement from you during the game. “Good pass,” “nice shot,” or “you’ll get it next time” are good things for them to hear and aren’t distracting. Try to avoid comments like “nice try” or “almost.” [Parents], do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.” (Colossians 3:23 NASB)

Just as parents make mistakes, so, too, do officials. Instead of making sure these mistakes are corrected, think of it this way: it all evens out by the end of the season! If a foul wasn’t called and you know that your child was fouled (or even another child for that matter), don’t holler at the referee. Later on, a foul might be called for a clearly invalid foul. Use it as an opportunity to exemplify God’s commands to respect the authorities He has placed over you.

After holding back all “suggestions” during the game, don’t spend the car ride home telling your child how they could have done something differently. That behavior once again instills a winning-is-the-most-important-thing mentality. Tell them what they did well, and make sure they know that they have your support and encouragement no matter how they played.

Reach the Goal

If your child suddenly announces a decision to no longer play a particular sport, especially one they have greatly enjoyed in the past, gently inquire their reasons. Be supportive of those reasons and encourage them in other areas. Letting a child retire from a particular sport will not, as some parents think, turn them into “dropouts” or “quitters.” As long as that free time isn’t replaced with video games or television, your child can benefit immensely from making their own choices about things such as this.

If your child has other things they are not allowed to falter on, such as God’s commands, academics, and parental rules, they will know the importance of devotion and perseverance for the things that matter most in life.

The qualities that teach children good sportsmanship start at home, not on the field. Make sure your family strongly promotes good sports conduct in everything at home, from board games to yard games.

Use these ideas to help your children enjoy participation in sports. Get excited about opportunities to play. Treat them to ice cream after games no matter how well they played. and encourage good effort and self-reliance in their participation. Most importantly, make sure sports maintain their position as a hobby so they don’t turn into idols.


Sara Jo Poff, her husband Pete, and their five kids, enjoy playing basketball together from their home in Claremore, Oklahoma. As a freelance writer, Sara Jo specializes on topics related to natural family health, home education, and living for Christ. You can visit her at
www.healthyfamiliesforGod.com.

Sexting? Is Your Child?

by Lynn Cowell

Concern seemed to spill from the girls’ lips as I heard their discussion developing in the back seat of the car. “You’ll help me as I confront her, right?” “Right.” Obviously, there was something happening in the lives of these seventh grade girls, causing them to be acting more like adults than ‘tweeners. Not wanting to pry, but feeling I like should be in the know, I continued to do the “mom eavesdrop”. “She said the pictures weren’t of her. They were of someone else, but why would you have pictures like that on your own phone?” Disappointment and sadness began to flood my heart. The world of sexting was crossing over into my child’s borders.

New Battlefield

Sexting is one of the newer battlefields we are now calling to fight upon for our children. Sexting is the new name for the act of sending, receiving or forwarding naked photos via your cell phone. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy conducted a survey which reported that one teenager in five reported having sent or posted naked photos of themselves.

Like me, you are probably thinking, “No way, not my children.” Unfortunately, it is more common than most of us would ever want to believe and I, for one, don’t want to be caught off guard. I’m the type of mom who would rather face things head on; get it out in the open and talk about it. Knowing this as well as the fact that I like to keep up on the latest things teens face, my fifteen-year-old daughter called me to check out a tv program. She was flipping through the channels and found Tyre Banks was hosting a panel of teen girls and their moms. Their topic: sexting. Hoping I might gain some insight into the how’s and why’s of this new rage, I invested the next hour of my time.

Want To Be Valued

As I watched, I looked over the girls on the show. They didn’t look rough or harsh. In fact, they looked a lot like any girl I would see at my daughter’s school or in our church. Then, I began to listen. “I liked being told that I was beautiful.” “The boys finally started to pay attention to me.” “I really don’t see it as that big of a deal.” My heart sank. It’s the same old trick from our enemy, Satan; he has just used a new means.

Girls want to be valued. They want to know that they are beautiful and wanted. I used the opportunity to once again instill in my daughters the truth of who they are in Christ. They have Someone who tells them that they are beautiful - their Creator. He is paying attention to you every minute of every day. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. When we use them in ways He didn’t intend, it is a really big deal! I reinforce these truths by having framed pictures with verses and sayings hanging in their rooms. My prayer is that when they are doing their homework, talking on the phone or straightening their hair, they will remind them of just who they are.

I also remind them of the practical consequences that take place when we choose not to follow His ways. Many children do not realize that once a photograph is on a cell phone, it can be put on the Internet where access is unlimited. Not only is this a problem for the morality of our children, but what they may not know, is that it is against the law. Our children can be caught in a web that they did not create nor want to be a part of simply by being a recipient of an unwanted picture. Our children need to be reminded that one dumb decision can have a lifetime of repercussions.

Don’t Be Afraid to Talk

So what is a parent to do? In my home, we removed the ability to access the Web and the transmission of pictures from their cell phones. This way our children cannot send nor receive photos that they didn’t asked for.
For some of us, these discussions can be so uncomfortable. I asked my daughter for her advice. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just talk about it in a normal voice or as you would anything else. It is really common in a teen’s life. If you make a big deal about it, they won’t want to talk about it.”
Don’t be afraid to talk about sexting with your teen. If you don’t bring it up, someone else will. Show your child you care by entering their world and addressing the hard stuff. You’ll be glad you did and even if they don’t tell you, they’ll be glad you did too!

Lynn Cowell writes from Charlotte, North Carolina where she is a part of the speaking team for Proverbs 31 Ministries. She writes every Wednesday on issues about teen culture. Join her at www.LynnCowell.com. She writes for your teens as well at www.HeIsThatIntoYou.com.

The Fruit of Summer

By Ann Marie Stewart

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

At the end of this summer, what stories will your scrapbook tell? How many pages will show the fruit of your summer?

I embrace two months of running barefoot in the grass, catching fireflies at night, and sitting around our neighborhood pool. I enjoy sleeping in without pressures or deadlines. The rules slide. Rooms aren’t always kept clean, instruments aren’t regularly practiced, and the only homework is when I finally declare the house a disaster zone in need of house-work.

But a summer without any discipline can yield little fruit. And with irregular schedules and vacations, it’s easy to let church attendance slide. Although summer is a time for refreshment and renewal, it can become spiritually dry. It doesn’t have to be that way. It just takes forethought, prayer, and a little focus.

One summer when my daughters were four and six, we decided to be “fruitful.” Each week we chose a tangible fruit and a corresponding verse for the nine fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). We learned the verse, talked about what it meant, and attempted to live it out. The girls determined which fruit represented love, joy, peace, and more, and by the end of the summer, the kitchen cupboards were filled with banana, kiwi, peach, and more, labeled with a corresponding Bible verse. If you want to go deeper in your personal quiet time, you can study Beth Moore’s “Living Beyond Yourself” and then share what you learn with your children. For example, Beth gives the sign language for Galatians 5:22-23, which is a great way to help a kinesthetic student learn this passage.

Another summer, we walked with Jesus by studying the book of Mark during our quiet time on the quilt. We traced our feet on colored construction paper and after each day’s reading we wrote what we learned on a footprint and tacked it up. Pretty soon we had the footsteps and teachings of Christ walking about our kitchen cupboards.

One season, my daughters enjoyed making paper dolls dressed with a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love. They determined which attributes represented shoes, hats, dress, and gloves. We spent seven days dressing dolls from characteristics found in Colossians 3:12-14.

If you have boys as well as girls, try dressing a soldier in the full armor of God: truth, the breastplate of righteousness, helmet of salvation, shield of faith, sword of the spirit, and Gospel of Peace (Galatians 6:11-17). These items of apparel will make a great set of new school clothes!

When school let out, a teacher friend of mine headed for the ocean with a beach study she created for her two elementary-aged children. They began by memorizing, “The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land” (Psalm 95:5) followed by making sand mosaics. Each of the six holidays was another fun Bible beach lesson.

Consider a summer treasure hunt, kids love clues and treasures. Hide verses or clues throughout the house. The ending treasure is a promise from the Word and perhaps a prize. What an exciting not-so-quiet time! Then put a large heart on your wall to collect all of these promises from God’s Treasure Book. Keeping time in the Word active and fun brings variety to their study, and makes it something your kids will look forward to.

My cousin Joan and her husband select a Bible verse or passage for their family each summer. One year they studied the 10 Commandments, and before heading to a mission field, they learned verses on evangelism. Perhaps the nine “Blesseds” of Matthew 5:3-11, could be a perfect match for nine weeks and a summer of blessings.

Last summer , we studied the Gospel of John, looking for the seven miracles, and the seven “I AMs.” We watched the John Visual Bible series to reinforce what we were studying. We also looked at the “FUN-damentals” and reviewed important sections of the Bible such as the Ten Commandments, Psalm 23, and the Lord’s Prayer. I haven’t figured out this year’s summer theme, but I look forward to seeing what God wants us to learn for a great ‘08.

Why not ask God what characteristics He wants you and your children to grow in this summer? Perhaps this summer will end in a harvest of fruit. Can you imagine your family’s summer verse inscribed on scrapbook pages and more importantly—IN their hearts?

Lord, show me what to teach my children. Help me find the scriptures for them to study and memorize and then apply. May this summer be a summer of bearing fruit for You.

Ann runs a small sheep farm in Virginia with her husband and two daughters. She loves to make God’s Word come alive with story, song, anecdotes from the farm, and drama. For more information, see PreparingMyHeart.com and her books Preparing My Heart for Advent: A Spiritual Pilgrimage for the Advent Season, and Preparing My Heart for Easter: A Woman’s Journey to the Cross and Beyond.

A Beautiful Object Lesson:Raising Butterflies with Your Family

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

Butterflies beautifully exemplify this verse! Spring is a great time to witness the miracle of a lowly caterpillar becoming a magnificent butterfly through metamorphosis.

You've probably heard the comparison made of our new life in Christ to the emergence of a butterfly from the cocoon, but did you know this other interesting fact about butterflies and their transformation?

When the butterfly is ready to emerge, it may take several hours and a great struggle to break free from its protective barrier. So why not help the butterfly and cut off part of its cocoon?

If you do, the creature will have a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. It will never be able to fly. The struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening forces fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings to make them ready for flight.

Our struggles in this life serve a purpose too. If we breezed through life without any difficulties, we would not emerge as complete, strong and ready to fly.

"Let us also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5: 3-5 (NIV)

If you would like to raise butterflies and experience the miracle in your home, here's a link to a web site where you can order everything you'll need. www.educationalscience.com

The Story of Johnny Appleseed

Fall is a great time to read the story of Johnny Appleseed to your children and try some new apple recipes!

John Chapman, a small man with amazing endurance, is known as "Johnny Appleseed." He was really an American pioneer, a kind and gentle hero, and a uniquely American legend.

Johnny Appleseed carried a bag of apple seeds, a spade, his cooking pot on his head, a coffee sack for a coat and a Bible as he traveled barefoot westward, planting apple seeds as he went on his sacred quest.

Folks still remember little Johnny and sing his song: "The Lord is good to me...And so I thank the Lord...For giving me the things I need...The sun and rain and the appleseed...The Lord is good to me."

God was good to him. He met many pioneers, read Bible stories to children and adults and gave apple seeds to the settlers. He showed people how to make apples into juice, pies, sauce, butter and Brown Betty. Johnny spread the Word of God as well as apples. He believed that God wanted him to go around and read his Bible to people and plant apple trees for them.

Johnny Appleseed's gentleness and courage were legendary even in his own time. He was a peaceful man who walked alone in the wilderness, without gun, knife or any weapons. He chopped down no trees and killed no animals. Watching apples grow inspired Johnny to love nature and all the animals in it. Folks say he could talk to the animals.

He was friends with the Indians too and traveled with a wolf companion. He slept outdoors, walked barefoot, ate berries and such, and made drinking water in winter by melting snow with his feet. The Indians found him nearly dead in the snow one time and nursed him back to health.

Johnny Appleseed left home and headed west to the Allegheny Mountains and cleared land to plant apple orchards. Johnny kept moving westward. In each community he planted apple orchards. In his travels, Johnny would stop at a farm and work for only his meals and a place to sleep, and he always left some apple seeds for the farmer to plant.

Then one day while he was resting under an apple tree, he heard a voice, "You have one long last trip to take." Johnny protested that he couldn't go, he had crops to harvest, seeds to sow but the voice continued, " Your work here on earth is done; but, Johnny, up in heaven we need you. You may think we have all we please -- but we don't, we're kinda short on apple trees, we need you here."

Fun Ways to Eat Apples

Recipes from virginiaapples.org.

Applesauce Cake in a Cone - A Magical Microwave Creation
Prepare a one or two layer spice cake mix according to package directions, except substitute applesauce for the water. Pour batter into flat-bottomed ice cream cones, no more than half full. Arrange 6 cones in a circle in microwave and cook on full power 2 1/2 to 2 3/4 minutes. Continue baking 6 cones at a time until all batter is used. When ready to serve, top each cupcake with a big scoop of ice cream.

Quick Apple Crisp
6-8 apples, peeled and sliced
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 ( 5 oz.) stick pastry mix
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1 c. brown sugar

Place apples in greased, 8 inch square or round pan. Combine pastry mix (dry) with sugar and spices. Sprinkle over apples. Bake at 375 degrees for 25 minutes. Serve with ice cream or whipped topping.

Or try these ideas for a change of pace…

• Substitute apple slices for jelly on peanut butter sandwiches.
  
• Freeze applesauce, then whip it in a blender for an apple "slushie".

Moving with Kids: Trivia Guide

Here's a fun way to ease the transition of relocation and help kids learn about their new community: Create the "Ultimate Trivia Guide" to your new town. Here are 17 ideas of what to look for in this around-the-town trivia hunt. You don't have to cover everything listed - these are categories to get you started.

Trivia Topics

The community:
o Famous residents
o Celebrity visitors
o Natural wonders
o Must-see sights
o Booming businesses
o Little-known facts
o Unsolved mysteries
o Claim to fame

Local scene:
o Entertainment
o Parks

Where to Find Trivia Info
o Observation (your own and others)
o Web sites (community and school)
o Brochures on local attractions
o Travel guide books
o Local history museum
o Monuments and memorials
o Local cemeteries (for famous former residents)
o Signs and plaques
o New friends and neighbors
o Local library and newspapers

5 Fun Summer Activities for Families

1. Buy a disposable camera for each family member. Over a few weeks period compete to see which family member can take the most pictures of wildlife in the backyard - birds, squirrels, rabbits, etc. Develop the pictures and give out awards for the person who captures the most animals on film, and the person who took the best photo. You can then make a nature scrapbook with the photos.

2. Make your own kites on a rainy day, then attempt to fly them on a windy day.

3. Gather up old clothes with stains and breathe new life into them by tye-dying or tea staining.

4. Find the nearest "pick-your-own" fruit farm and go harvesting. You can use the fruit in seasonal recipes, freeze some for winter or make some jam to enjoy and give away.

5. Choose a classic book to read together as a family. Read a chapter aloud after dinner each night. Pop popcorn and discuss the story.

Taming the TV: Guarding Kid's Heart

By: Rachel Olsen

Many parents find themselves competing daily with the media for influence over their kids. Madison Avenue, Hollywood, and cable channels such as MTV and even Nickelodeon have much they'd like to teach our children -and their teaching methods are more memorable than the average parent's lecture. It is not news to parents that too much television viewing is harmful for kids - but how much is "too much" and what kind of harm can it do?

Much ado is made about the affects of violence on television. Research indicates that by the time the average child finishes elementary school, they will have seen 8,000 televised murders. By the time that child reaches the age of eighteen, they will have viewed more than 200,000 acts of violence on TV, including 40,000 murders.

In an unprecedented joint statement in 2000, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry concluded that children who repeatedly view violent programming: 1) are more likely to think violence is an effective strategy for settling conflicts, 2) are less likely to take helpful action when witnessing a real life occurrence of violence, 3) fear becoming a victim, increase self-protective behaviors, and develop a general mistrust of others, and 4) have a higher tendency for violent and aggressive behavior later in life.

Clearly, watching a lot of televised violence can be troublesome to a young, developing psyche. However, numerous studies also show that substance use, sexual promiscuity, obesity, negative body image, and decreased school performance can all stem from the television viewing habits of our kids.

So how much TV is too much? The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children 2 years and older watch two or less hours of television per day, while children under the age of 2 years watch no television. A study that followed the viewing habits of kids from 1990-1998 revealed that 17 percent of infants, 48 percent of 1-year olds, and 41 percent of preschoolers watch more television daily than the AAP recommends.

Perhaps even more important than controlling the amount of television watched by our children and youth is monitoring the type of shows they are viewing. It is no longer safe, for example, to assume that because something is animated or is marketed to kids, that it is child-appropriate.

Parents are recommended to pre-screen what they allow their children to watch and - as often as possible - to watch along side their kids so they can interpret and explain what is seen. Many televisions today are equipped with the capability to block out certain shows or entire channels that parents deem unacceptable. Put that technology to work for you.

While many of these findings are worrisome, parents can exert some control.

• We can keep televisions out of our children's rooms.
• We can limit the amount of time we allow the television to be viewed.
• We can screen the type of programming we allow into our homes.
• We can talk to our kids about the dangers of media influence.

So the facts are in, turning off the TV to read, bike, play a board game, entertain friends or take a nature walk is an excellent idea for the emotional, social, physical, and intellectual well being of our children. Before you toss that television set out by the curb, just remember that a little TV is okay, as long as we monitor both the amount and quality of the shows our children watch.

Finding Easter

By Marie Ogram

These days it's often hard to find Christ at Easter amidst all the bunnies, chicks, and eggs! Here are two great ways to “find” Christ in the typical customs and celebrations.

Resurrection Egg Hunt – While most plastic eggs contain candy, you can teach kids about the Easter story by hunting for eggs filled with small objects pertaining to the Easter story. After the eggs have been collected, explain the meaning behind each object by reading its corresponding scriptures.

You may find a ready made set of these eggs for this purpose, or you can make your own using the following items:

• Nails- John 19:34,37
• Thorns- Matthew 27:29
• Herbs- Matthew 27:34
• Wooden Cross- John 19:17-18
• Dice- March 15:24
• 30 coins- Matthew 26:15
• Stone- Matthew 27:66
• Piece of sponge- Mark 15:36
• Piece of purple cloth- Mark 15:16
• Piece of linen(gauze) March 15:46 S
• ign-King of the Jews- Matthews 27:37
• Empty egg- Matthew 27:5-7

Easter Basket Hunt - Another idea my family has done is to create a biblical scavenger hunt to find Easter baskets. The first clue is left in the Bible. All clues are simply Bible references. The Scripture is not written out. Children have to go back to the Bible with the clue and read for the next clue. If you have older children who can read, have them figure out the clues on their own. Smaller children can listen to the clues being read. You can make up as many clues as you want. Here are some ideas:

• John 11:35 (at the tissue box leave the next clue)Scripture for this one is “Jesus wept.”
• Matthew 5:13 (at the salt shaker leave the next clue)Scripture for this one is “Salt of the Earth.”
• Matthew 5:14 (at the lamp or light switch leave the next clue)Scripture is “Light of the World.”
• John 6:48 ( at the bread box leave the next clue)Scripture is “I am the Bread of Life.”

Like Christmas, Easter can easily become about everything but Christ. Get inventive and find ways to bring the focus back to the reason for this Lenten season.

An Intentional Thanksgiving

By Rachel Olsen

Do you ever find Thanksgiving to be a stressful event whose main purpose seems to be to overeat and then fall asleep in front of the TV? Do you long for a more enjoyable day? What you may be in need of is an intentional Thanksgiving.

Webster defines intentional as: "done, made or performed with purpose or intent." An intentional Thanksgiving is one that is planned in advanced and carefully carried out with clear goals in mind. Here is a three-pronged approach to an intentional Thanksgiving.

Determine Your Needs and Goals

I'll never forget my first Thanksgiving at my in-laws' house after becoming Rick's finance. My father, a widow, came along with me on the trip to North Carolina to meet Rick's parents. On Thanksgiving morning we all congregated in the kitchen. My future mother-in-law waltzed in, looked in the pantry and nonchalantly said, "I'll make the shopping list, who wants to go to the grocery store for us?"

After picking my jaw up off the floor, I agreed to go along on the grocery shop. It was simply astonishing to me that we had to get all the necessary fixings ON Thanksgiving morning, but several of us went to the store as a group and had a blast doing it. When we arrived home, each of us were given a recipe card and became in charge of making that dish. We talked, laughed and cooked together that Thanksgiving, having a great time as well as a delicious meal. The family has photos of the fun (and sometimes chaos) that ensued blown up and framed on the wall to this day.

While I thought my future mother-in-law's lack of preparedness bordered on blasphemy at the time, I came to realize that this was her way of: 1) not getting overwhelmed by doing it all, and 2) bringing the family together to do something as a team. Not all Thanksgivings at her house have been that way. Some years the meal was cooked almost entirely by her, other years we each brought a dish to the event, and for yet others we ordered the complete meal catered - Thanksgiving dinner arrived in cardboards boxes!

We've had Thanksgiving at her house, at my house, delivering with Meals on Wheels, and even once at a hunting lodge followed by an afternoon of riding four-wheelers through the woods together. Each year the meal has been yummy, memorable and more importantly, it met it the needs of our family at the time. We never quite know from year to year what our Thanksgivings will look like, but we always know we'll have turkey, sweet potatoes and lots of fun.

If the food and its preparation has become the sole, overwhelming focus of the event, you may need to set some different goals for this year besides cooking and cleaning for a group of twenty! Shift the goal, for instance, from "me cooking all the traditional dishes" to "getting everyone to participate by cooking or bringing a favorite dish."

Turn Hearts Toward Home

Many a woman has gotten caught up in trying to prepare the moistest turkey, the tastiest dressing or the most-like-Mom's gravy. There is nothing wrong with any of these goals, as long as they don't overshadow or even prevent you from drawing nearer to God and family on this day.One thing my family has become good at is valuing how fun and easy the holiday is for everybody over how perfect the food turns out. We look forward to talking, joking and playing cards or board games as much as we do eating the turkey or the pumpkin pie.

Is there something your family would really enjoy doing together this Thanksgiving? What can you do differently this year to bring your family together in fun or meaningful ways? Play games? Go for a walk together after the meal? Reminisce over photo albums or watch old home-movies together? Find ways to bring family back to the forefront of your celebration.

Give Thanks to God
We've always said a heartfelt prayer before the meal but several years ago I decided we should step-up the purposefulness of our giving thanks. I provided small pieces of paper and pen at each place setting and encouraged everyone to write down 3 things they were thankful for that year. The papers were then read aloud (but anonymously) by my father-in-law. We laughed and we cried as we listened. Another year, I created a "Thanksgiving Tree" - that's simply a dead tree branch stuck in a clay pot! We each wrote and hung what we were thankful for on construction paper leaves.

I love what Proverbs 31 speaker Zoë Elmore does with her family:
Tom & I have hosted Thanksgiving for both our families for several years and began the tradition of verses of thanks. Since our home does not accommodate everyone dining together in one room, we found Bible verses that had the theme of being thankful, typed them up and then placed a different verse in each napkin at each table. Everyone takes a turn reading their verse and then sharing one thing they are grateful for from the past year. After lunch, we see who can remember their verse and/or what things those at their table were grateful for. The winner gets extra pie!"

Our beloved P31 leader Renee Swope also has some terrific ideas for making the holiday more meaningful:

One year we created "Thankful Turkeys" for the dinner table centerpiece. The week before, we gathered two large pine cones and added features to make them look like turkeys without feathers. Then we cut out feather-shaped pieces of red, green, yellow and orange construction paper to hand to each person as they arrived on Thanksgiving Day. The kids asked each guest to write down one thing they were thankful for on the feathers. The kids gathered feathers and stuck them in the turkeys for table decorations. Before dinner, we had them "pluck" the feathers and my husband read out loud each person's reflection of thanks. Then we held hands and prayed. It was very sentimental and it brought more spiritual emphasis as well as personal sharing to our time together.

Last year we started a new tradition by creating a "Thankful Journal" on Thanksgiving Day. We entered something for each person each evening before bed. On Christmas morning at breakfast, before we open our presents, we gave God our "gifts of gratitude" as we read each entry out loud to Him and each other.

There are many ways to appreciate God's profound goodness and celebrate the blessing of family on Thanksgiving Day. I encourage you to spend some time in thought, prayer and conversation deciding the goals you'd like to set for this holiday season. Look for intentional ways to emphasize family togetherness and to express gratitude to the Lord for His provision in your lives. Your best Thanksgiving ever could be just around the corner!

Family Connection Rituals

By Rachel Olsen

Do you long for a closer-knit family? Family connection rituals encourage closeness by creating everyday opportunities for family bonding. They're also quick and easy to do!

Kissing family members hello or good-bye each day, leaving notes or cards in lunch boxes or briefcases, reading stories or saying nightly prayers together, are all great examples of connection rituals any family can do.

Meals offer another prime-time for family connection. Sharing breakfast before embarking on a busy day, and reconnecting over dinner at the end of it, has long been a recipe for a united family.

Mom can also take a few minutes to prepare an appetizing after-school snack. This, like all mealtimes, is an excellent time to strike up some fun or meaningful conversation with loved ones.

Connection rituals draw hearts towards home and enhance the rhythm of daily life. They stand as a small refuge of predictability and comfort in our often hectic and stressful day.

Are there ways you can build more connection into your daily family routines? The result just might be the closer-knit family you are longing for.

Kids Activities During a Winter Grounding

By Rebecca Ingram Powell

Messages on the Snow: After a yummy breakfast of pancakes, fill up that empty syrup bottle (or water bottle, or water gun) with water that has been colored with food coloring. Head outside to write messages on the snow. (hint: Don't use yellow food coloring.)

Spa Night: Enjoy a mother/daughter night of pampering. Make bath time special for younger girls by lighting a few candles in the bathroom (candles must be supervised by an adult at all times). Older girls will enjoy a manicure or facial with Mom.

Share your love story: Dig out your wedding album, wedding video, and even your guest registry book to show your kids. They will love hearing their parents' love story, no matter how many times you've told it to them. Give Grandma and Grandpa a call and let the kids hear them reminisce about your magical wedding day.

Warm up with a day at the beach: Nothing beats the winter blues like pretending you are spending the day at the beach! Younger children will enjoy this: Spread an old sheet or a shower curtain out on the floor. Dump a couple of bags of cornmeal (this is your "sand") on it. Add measuring cups, spoons, and pails. This will keep them very entertained, and as long as you DON'T ADD WATER, it's very easy to sweep up or vacuum. (If the children put on their swimsuits, they will be easy to clean up as well!)

Letters and Cards: Revive the lost art of letter writing with your children. Now is a great time for your children to write or send pictures to family members and long-distance friends. How about a thank you note to a special teacher or church staff member? By the way, who would appreciate a handwritten note from YOU?