Material Girls

By: Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member

If you are anything like me –and millions of other women – you find it hard to disengage yourself from the lifestyle of consumerism so prevalent in our society today. How can material things - mere inanimate objects - have so much power over us?

You may have read my “affluenza” devotion last summer where I lamented:

The store-wide clearance sale is going on today at JC Penny’s. I’m trying very hard not to go in search of a fantastic bargain on something I never realized I needed until I saw it. Have you ever noticed how addictive shopping can be? It’s hard to pass up the thrill of the hunt, the satisfaction of the bargain, the excitement of something new, or dare I say the possible envy of your friends.

Somehow every purchase I make seems to lead to more purchases. I buy the kids new winter coats to replace outgrown ones, but now I want to get new scarves to match the new coat colors. I get a mirror for the living room wall, only to find it throws the room off balance and now I need something for the opposite wall. I purchase a black and red sweater only to discover that my old black pants look faded next to the new sweater and head off to the store for new black pants. While at the store I find a fabulous pair of “Legally Blonde” pink shoes on clearance for only $13.00! (Don’t ask why I’m in the shoe department to buy black pants.) It seems a crime not to buy them, but now I need an equally fabulous pink skirt to wear with them.

That’s the thing about money and things; you can never quite get enough. Styles and fashions change with the seasons. Technology improves rapidly. New gadgets and great bargains await you down every aisle. There are always newer and nicer things to be had, and there are always people around you having them.

So what happens when we routinely shop for recreational, emotional or even social purposes? We become in - and in debt. In 2005 it is expected that more women will file for bankruptcy than will graduate from college.

Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Tyagi reveal in The Two-Income Trap: Why Middle Class Parents are Going Broke, “Seventy percent of all Americans say that they are carrying so much debt that it is making their home lives unhappy.” These authors also predict that should these trends persist, by the end of the decade “nearly one of every seven families with children would have declared itself flat broke, losers in the great American economic game.”

So how can we detach ourselves from the desire to spend more than we can reasonably afford – be it on a home, a car, or a sweater? First and foremost we must turn to God. Let’s ask forgiveness for how poorly we’ve handled the money He has provided us in the past, and ask Him to help us begin making wiser choices. We also need to turn to Jesus to fill the emotional and spiritual holes we keep trying to satisfy with more and better things. We cannot purchase our way to wholeness and contentment.

The Bible clearly states that God will not reign in our lives as long as we have material things enthroned in our hearts (Matthew 6:24). Let us renounce money, luxury and possessions as the main goals in life, and replace them with the desire to glorify God, to bless others, and to live out our God-given purposes. Kay Arthur has written a nine week devotional study book called Lord, I’m Torn Between Two Masters that may help us with this important step.

Next, we need to give. Let us give to our local church. Let us give to reputable ministries, and let us bless those around us as the Lord leads. Helping others - indeed helping God accomplish His will on Earth - with our money can be just as satisfying as purchasing a great find. Also, as we give purposely and joyfully, we will deposit treasure in our heavenly bank accounts (Matthew 6:20). Randy Alcorn has written a short book that can help provide us with a big motivation to give entitled The Treasure Principle.

Finally, as Ellie Kay suggested in her article “Debt Diet” in this month’s issue of the P31 Woman, create and follow a monthly budget. Budgets provide a needed plan and a form of accountability. For help with this task, visit Crown Financial Ministries at www.crown.org.

The lifestyle of consumerism is all around us. The temptation to try to satisfy our own needs and desires with material things is strong. Ultimately, however, the best bargain in town is still that we can trade our filthy rags for robes of righteousness in the dressing room of our very own hearts.

Rachel is a member of the P31 Speaker Team. Some of her topics include HEAVENLY FASHIONS, and FOOTLOOSE AND FEARLESSLY FREE.

Affordable Gifts - Jar Mixes

By: Rachel Olsen, Speaker Team Member

Nothing says "Thinking of You" like a homemade gift from your kitchen. In this twist on that notion, you prepare jar mixes to give as gifts. Your recipients can make something hot and homemade in their kitchens, with the ingredients and love from yours.

Mason jars can be used for these mixes - just cut a round of fabric, cover the utilitarian-looking top of the mason jar and tie it in place with a piece of ribbon. Also, decorative but inexpensive glass or plastic jars can be found at discount stores such as Wal-Mart. The only requirement is that the container be airtight. Remember, the container itself can be a gift to the recipient once the mix is used.

Friendship Tea (or Russian Tea)
Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and mix well with a wire whisk:
1 cup orange drink mix (such as Tang)
1 cup sugar2 tbsp instant tea mix (such as Lipton)
¼ cup and 2 tbsp lemon flavored instant tea mix
½ tsp. ground cinnamon
½ tsp. ground cloves

Attach a label to jar that reads: Stir 3 teaspoons of mix into one cup of boiling water.

Sand Art Brownies
Layer ingredients in a 1 quart canning jar in the following order, tapping to settle:
1 tsp salt½ cup and 2 tbsp flour
2/3 cup brown sugar (pack it down)
½ cup flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
2/3 cup sugar
¼ cup chopped walnuts
½ cup semi sweet chocolate chips
½ cup white chocolate or vanilla chips

Attach a label that reads: Combine contents with 1 tsp vanilla extract, 2/3 cup of oil and 3 eggs. Pour into greased 8 x 8 pan and bake at 350 degrees for 30-33 minutes.

Homemade Soup Mix
In a mason jar, layer the following ingredients in the order listed:
1/3 cup beef bouillon granules
1/4 cup dehydrated onion flakes
1/2 cup split peas
1/2 cup ABC or small shell macaroni
1/4 cup barley
1/2 cup lentils
1/3 cup non-instant white rice
Tricolor spiral pasta to fill

Attach a label that reads: Brown 1 lb of ground beef in olive oil. Remove the spiral pasta from top of jar and set aside. In a large pot, combine the rest of the jar with 12 cups of water and the cooked ground beef. Bring to a boil and simmer 45 minutes. Add the spiral pasta and simmer 15 minutes more. Serve with salad.

Finding Joy in Your Strong Willed Child

By Sheila Wilder

Very few people understand the challenge of a strong willed child. These children seem to come in to the world determined to challenge you on every point. They can sap your energy and have you on edge within fifteen minutes of getting out of bed in the morning. They are feisty, determined, and unnerving. The biggest challenge I have encountered with my strong willed child is the strength and energy to purpose to like her. Loving her is never in question, but liking her takes some persistence on my part.

That sounds terrible doesn't it? How pitiful that you would have to make it a point to like your child. But mothers of strong willed children are nodding their heads and some are relieved to find out that they are not alone. When you are constantly being pushed to the edge, dislike is a normal reaction. At times, we may be unaware or unwilling (for kind reasons) to admit that we just don't like being around this child. If we are not careful, we can unwittingly let those feelings of dislike dominate our relationship.

It takes more energy and determination to find joy in your relationship with your strong willed child than it does to operate in the norm. You must persevere; however, because the rewards you will reap from this persistence are immeasurable and invaluable. So what can you do to find joy in your strong willed child?

Look at the unique and special purpose God has planned for your child.These kids are the Joshuas and Calebs of the world (Numbers 14). They can stand alone. And when God chooses to use them for His purpose; they are the Noahs (Genesis 6). They have awesome tenacity; pursuing and fighting for a God-given vision even when every shred of evidence should discourage them. You have a gem in your midst.

Look at the role your child plays in your family and how God uses them to shape and mold you and others in your family. My daughter's personality is forcing her compliant younger brother to develop some assertiveness that he would not have developed this early on his own. It will serve him well. Likewise, my daughter's unique personality has forced me to grow closer to the Lord. Lisa Welchel stated my experience so well when she reflected on her son: "raising Tucker has taught me more about stepping outside the box, being non-judgmental and longsuffering, controlling my anger, throwing myself on the Lord, and listening to that still small voice than anything else I've done in my life."1 These kids can change us for the better if we will continually fall on the Lord (1 Chronicles 16:11).

Carefully consider how your own parenting style plays into your feelings toward your strong willed child. I have learned that if the issue is not safety, modesty, or obedience; it need not be an issue. Sometimes that means dealing with things inside of me that make unimportant things an issue. I have learned that it was my pride that made going to the store with my daughter dressed in polka dots and stripes an issue (after all, who wants to be seen out in public with a child dressed like that!)

Look carefully at the root cause of some of your issues. Can any of them be put to rest? (Philippians 2:3-4) Cynthia Ulrich Tobias wrote a book, You Can't Make Me…But I Can Be Persuaded, about dealing with strong willed children that has helped me tremendously. Don't let the title fool you, it is not a book about cajoling your child into behaving. It is about the parent being in control and removing opportunities for resistance to your parenting style.

Make a commitment to pursue a joyful relationship with your strong willed child. Try to always focus on the positive while in the midst of disciplining the negative. Make a list of your child's positive qualities and reflect on them daily during your prayer time (Philippians 4:8). Make it a point to connect with your strong willed child. They act like they don't want or need our acceptance, but in truth they have a strong need for a deep connection with us. It takes resolve, determination, and grace; but you must commit yourself to actively seeking an enjoyable relationship with your strong willed child. It will be worth everything you have, and everything you are. After all, that is all He asks of us (Luke 9:23)!

"Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose." - Philippians 2:21

*Courtney, Camerin. "The Real Facts - and Fun! - of Life." Today's Christian Woman May/June 2004: 44.